Netflix Customer Reviews

ThanksKilling

This was even worse than Id expected. Ive seen flaming turds, but this take the cake. The acting, plot and special effects (as expected) were wretched. The talking killer turkey story could have been so much better. I understand low-budget and all, but this was beyond a flaming turd. This idea could have been awesome, even with a small budget. 1 reluctant star. 22 Nov 2009

Yet another flaming turd straight out of the 1980's. This movie was creepy and...bizarre. There is no gore, but some serious sexual deviance going on (implications of incest). This little turd goes down in flames after about the first 15-20 minutes. Throughout the movie two questions stuck in my mind. Is Pin alive? Is Leon crazy? At the end of the flick we are left wondering, what on Earth?!? If you, like me, are attracted to the flamiest of flaming turds, this one is for you. 3 Stars. 18 November 2009

Faces of Death

I find myself torn between treating this as a serious documentary (or shockumentary, if you prefer) or a truly disturbing set of recreations. It was...interesting is the only word I can come up with. This film is truly difficult to describe. Even knowing that much of it is fake, it is disturbing. It's worth a watch if you can separate shockumentary from actual, serious film-making even if just to say that you've seen it. 3 stars. 7 April 2009

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

I Want to Believe...yeah, I wanted to believe that this was going to be an awesome movie. This movie was a huge disappointment. I Want to Believe barely even felt like a mediocre X-Files episode. The story was weak, at best. There were no aliens, no UFO's, no conspiracies to uncover. On the upside (the only one I can think of), Duchovny and Anderson both stepped back into their roles and Mulder and Scully without missing a beat. After such a long wait for this movie, I had extremely high hopes for this. It took me two days to watch this. I am a HUGE X-Files fan; I should have been sucked right in just like I was with every episode of the series and the first movie. Not recommended even to X-Files fans. 1.5 stars (rounded to 2). 7 April 2009

Hancock

Hancock was a disappointment. Oh, it was a decent movie, but this movie could have been so much better. They have unexplored territory here and did very little with it. This is a unique superhero movie, and for that reason this movie got 3 stars from me...but it could have been a great superhero movie if they'd just stuck to the superhero theme. This movie seemed to be a bit...all over the place. It's a superhero movie, then it's a comedy for a moment, then it's a superhero movie, then it's a love story---you get it. There are spectacular effects to draw you away from the mediocre writing and the less-than-stellar performances by actors who are much better than they appeared to be in this movie. Overall, Hancock is an okay movie as long as you don't have high expectations. 3 stars. 7 April 2009

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Prince Caspian is a very different movie than The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe was. Caspian is less story-driven and more action-driven. Caspian is visually stunning! The battles are epic. The CGI is excellent. This movie is long--a bit too long for most; there are scenes that seem to drag on forever. Prince Caspian (the book) is much weaker than The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, so it makes sense that the first movie is far superior to this one. Prince Caspian has far less character development and you won't get that sense of wonder that the first movie conveyed so well. The storyline in Caspian is weak and a bit jumbled. C.S. Lewis was brilliant; unfortunately Caspian was a weak installment in the Narnia series. Overall, this movie is pretty good. It's worth a watch for Narnia fans. 3.5 stars (rounded to 4). 7 April 2009

Bee Movie

This movie is...cute. There's little here to keep adults entertained, but the kids should have plenty. I enjoyed Bee Movie, don't get me wrong, but if you're looking for a movie that you can enjoy as much as the little ones, keep looking. I had pretty high expectations going into this movie. I mean, come on. Seinfeld as a bee in a movie about the lives of bees!?! This movie could have been better. The animation was excellent, but the story was a bit scrambled. There were too many subplots going on at the same time. One thing to note, there are some concepts that may be a bit...mature for the really little ones (under 5 or 6). Overall, it's worth the rent; I've seen much worse kids movies. It's cute. 3 stars. 7 April 2009

Ratatouille

Ratatouille feels more like a Disney movie from the days of olde than a Pixar movie. The voice acting is nothing less than expected from a Pixar movie and the animation is phenomenal. There is one scene in particular that it was hard to tell if there were real rats or animated rats (they were animated). There are plenty of laughs and the typical child-friendly themes abound. This movie is a must-see for anyone who enjoys animated films! A classic! 5 stars. 7 April 2009

Sydney White

Cute. Not much here, though. If you're looking for thought-provoking, smart or funny you're looking in the wrong place. It has a few funny moments, but nothing impressive. If you like Amanda Bynes, you'll probably enjoy this movie. Typical of the genre. The pace is a bit slow, but if you can make it through the first half hour or so, you'll be fine. 2.5 stars (rounded to 3) 31 March 2009

Richard O'Brien's Rocky Horror Tribute Show

This 'tribute show' is not even worth the one star that I'm required to give it. There is not tribute paid here. This was awful! AWFUL! Turn around and NEVER look back! 30 March 2009

An American Tail

Ah...memories flood back just seeing the box art for this movie. This is actually the first movie I ever saw in a theater. I loved An American Tail then and still very much enjoyed it now. I was 4 and yet I still remembered the story of this touching movie. 20+ years later though, I appreciate the story in a different way than before. There is a darkness to this story. Some reviews have pointed out that some of the images are a bit scary for the really young kids, but I think that has a lot to do with the changes in society...but that is not the topic here. For some of the more sensitive ones and those younger than 5 or 6, there are some "scary" scenes with cats chasing Fievel, so be careful. This is a classic animated film. It's not your stellar Pixar animation...it's old school animation with bright colors and cutesy dialogue with a sinister undertone. There are some concepts that will be above a lot of children's heads (being a Jewish immigrant, for example) that could have been developed better, but little kids don't really need to understand that aspect. This is an under appreciated 80's classic cartoon. 4 stars. 30 March 2009

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People was a really good movie. I admit that I only rented this movie because I wanted to see Simon Pegg in something other than Shaun of the Dead. I was curious to see if it was a fluke...well, it wasn't. He is a very good, very funny actor. The whole cast, in fact, was great. Jeff Bridges (much older looking than I imagined he would look) was great. Kirsten Dunst was likable enough. This movie, however, is not without flaws. It got off to a somewhat slow start. The first 20 or so minutes dragged on for a bit. Are there better movies out there? Of course, there are. But on the other side of that coin, there are worse ones too. This is a nice rom-com/slapstick comedy flick. It's far from a waste of your 1 and a half. If you're a Pegg fan, you should find something here. It's not as funny as Shaun of the Dead, but this is Hollywood--Did you expect it to be? Overall, worth the rental. 4 stars. 30 March 2009

WALL-E

By far the best animated film in many years. WALL-E is visually...I can't even think of a word...stunning! There is a cute love story for the little girls; there is a post-apocalyptic, war-torn Earth for the little boys; and there is a view (a warning, even) of what society became once they left Earth due to laziness and gluttony for the adults. If you're a fan of science-fiction, but not cartoons and have a little one, this is the Disney movie you should be watching. My friends 3 year old cried (not scared, just sad that something was wrong with EVE) but loved the movie nonetheless. This is a must-see for Pixar fans! I highly recommend! 5 stars! 30 March 2009

The Incredible Hulk

This movie is far superior than the 2003 flop that was Hulk. It's not the greatest superhero movie on that market, but it's still a good film. Edward Norton was fantastic as Bruce Banner. The story was a bit weak, the over-the-top action scenes seemed to attempt to cover up this detail. Aesthetically this movie is fantastic, the acting is very good. Overall, this movie is well worth a watch even if it's just to tide you over until the next big superhero movie. 3.5 stars (rounded to 4) 30 March 2009

Horton Hears a Who!

This is the best Seuss film since...well, the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Steve Carell and Jim Carrey are perfect. Horton couldn't have been voiced by anyone else! This movie is perfect for children of all ages (even those of us that are old enough to have teenagers call us sir/ma'am). This is a must-see for any Seuss fan! I highly recommend this movie! One of the top animated films in recent memory. 5 Stars. 30 March 2009

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A Family Portrait

This documentary was boring. There were some interesting parts, unfortunately those interesting parts were surrounded by incredibly boring parts. It was interesting to see the actors out of character/costume, especially Grandpa, but that doesn't make the doc interesting... Just because you enjoyed--or even loved--the movies does not mean that you should watch this. I would only recommend this to the most die-hard TCM fan(atics). 1 out of 5 stars. 30 March 2009

Stigmata

Wow! I can't believe how terrible the critics felt this movie was! I mean, it's not the best movie ever...far from it, in fact. But I've seen much, much worse. There is some gore (bloodhounds will want more, but they'll survive) and some suspenseful moments, but what really shines here is the story. It keeps your interest throughout, not something that a lot of horror movies manage to do. The acting is solid. The subject matter will turn some off. Overall this is a good movie. Worth a watch for horror/suspense fans. 3.5 stars (rounded to 4) 30 March 2009

Napoleon Dynamite

Why? That's what I asked myself after finishing this movie. Why do so many people love this turd? I can't figure it out. Maybe I'm too old to get it...I don't know. The acting is atrociously bad, the story is--bad. I could not stop watching this flaming turd; I had to see if there was some awesome ending that just made the movie. I watched and watched and watched for what seemed like three and a half days and then it came. The end. Nothing special at all. I was incredibly disappointed by this movie. I don't know what everyone sees in this turd... 1 star. 30 March 2009

Trekkies

Being a huge Trekkie, I expected to love this doc. I didn't. Don't get me wrong, it was interesting; I just thought it would be better. I think perhaps my own expectations were so high, that nothing could have lived up to them. No Trekkie should go their entire life without seeing this doc. If you're a casual fan, this might not hold your interest. 3 stars. 30 March 2009

The Twilight Zone: Vol. 1

If you're new to The Twilight Zone, this is not the disc to start with. The episodes on this particular disc, while good, are NOT the best in the series. "Night of the Meek" dragged on for what seemed like forever. This is a very weak episode to start with, but... "Invaders" was excellent! Agnes Moorehead spoke not a single word the entire episode. I was half-way to boredom due to the lack of dialogue, but then...well, it makes sense once you know what's going on. "Nothing in the Dark" (with a very young Robert Redford) was decent enough. The acting was superb throughout, nothing less than expected from this series. Moorehead's performance being the standout on this disc. Unfortunately it's only three half-hour episodes and very little extra's. And to make matters worse, those three episodes are mediocre in comparison to the rest of the series. 3.5 out of 5 stars (rounded to 4). 30 March 2009

Fellowship of the Dice

Terrible acting. Non-existent plot. Exaggerated stereotypes of gamers. This is something that most won't appreciate. If you're a former (or current) gamer, you might find some enjoyment in this. Just go into it knowing that it is flawed. They do little to help the stereotype that gamers are socially awkward geeks gathering in small groups to be geeky, but we wouldn't want people thinking we're normal... Being a former gamer, I can overlook all of the flaws and just laugh at the similarities to all of my friends that I saw in this ragtag group of geeks. They poke fun at gamers, which will turn some off. If you're not a gamer or interested in RPG's, you likely won't enjoy this. If you only know what RPG stands for because you just read it, keep on moving; this is not for you. 3 stars. 25 Sept 2008

The Last Winter

The Last Winter was a mildly interesting movie. The cover art boasts "The Scariest Movie of the Year." No, definitely not. The whole time I was watching it, I felt like I'd seen it before; I couldn't pin point it until I looked through the reviews and saw Bodhi Grrl point to "Ice" from season one of the X-Files. That's what this movie felt like, an episode of The X-Files. There is some suspense, but the movie is slow and unresolved. There are just too many questions and too few answers. The acting was decent enough, but the characters weren't interesting; I didn't really care who died and who survived. The location gave a creepy atmosphere and the shots of the environment were stunning. 2.5 stars (rounded to 3). 25 Sept 2008

Cannibal

Cannibal was truly disturbing, vile and beautiful. It's the most disturbing movie I've seen in some time. It is, at times, slow and the acting is atrociously bad. There was just something about this movie that made me keep watching; I couldn't bring myself to turn it off. The movie felt very real. The fact that it was so well-done just serves to make it even more disturbing. If you rent a movie called Cannibal, you should expect to be appalled...this is so far beyond appalling. It was disgusting. A man is killed, butchered, cooked and eaten. The lead up to the eating is just as disturbing as the eating itself. This is an interesting look at cannibalism. If you can't sit through man-on-man sex, skip this. If you can't watch someone killing, cooking and then eating another human, you're looking at the wrong movie. If you're looking for a very realistic, very disturbing movie and you have a strong stomach, give this movie a chance...you might find it intriguing. I can't say I enjoyed the movie, but I found it very intriguing. 4 Stars. 25 Sept 2008

Video X

Video X is different. It's not a slasher flick and it's barely a horror movie. If you're looking for a scary movie or your garden-variety slasher, keep on moving. Video X claims to be the real footage of Dwayne and Darla-Jean. We're not stupid; we know it's fake...and if you didn't then I just let the cat out of the bag. It doesn't feel particularly 'real' but that doesn't mean the movie isn't good. It's an interesting look at the changes in Dwayne and Darla-Jean as they go from innocent lovebirds looking to make a life of their own somewhere far away from their parents to criminals trying to cover up their crimes. If you're looking for something different than the standard, give this movie a shot. Be prepared for jerky camera movements. 3.5 stars (rounded to 4). 25 Sept 2008

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

What a disappointment! This movie was nowhere near as good as the original. The story was weak and boring. Corey Feldman reprising his role as Edgar Frog couldn't even make this movie good. He looked creepily identical to the way he looked in 1987... Apparently I blinked and missed Haim entirely. The dialogue was terrible, Feldman's dialogue was ripped straight from the original and plopped into this one. I just wish I could travel in time to before I watched this steaming pile of cow dung and forever tarnished The Lost Boys. So, why the second star? Well, there is one redeeming quality in this movie. The level of gore is pretty decent. It doesn't work for this movie, but it earned a half-star on its own. 1.5 stars. If you're a Lost Boys fan, you're going to see this no matter what I say...just be warned, lower your expectations A LOT! If you're new to The Lost Boys, you should definitely come out from under that rock and rent the original Lost Boys movie and forget that they ever made a sequel. 1 August 2008

Carver

Carver is nothing special. Those of us that are fans of the slasher genre have seen all of this more times than we care to count. That being said, the movie wasn't terrible. The acting is as expected for the genre. The storyline was pretty weak, but slasher fans should be able to overlook this detail. Character development...well, let me just say that these are your typical slasher movie characters with only the bare minimum development. Most of the characters were okay (not exactly likable, but I didn't want to kill them myself), but Bryan was downright annoying. I was rooting for the killer to kill him. The level of gore is fantastic. And there is one scene in particular (roughly half way through) that is just horrid...but in a good way. It involves pliers and a testicle. Need I say any more? Not for the squeamish. This is a low-budget film and it doesn't try to be anything but that; it's not trying to be look like a Hollywood production and for that, I give them credit. The low-budget nature of the film adds to the overall feel of the movie. It's not scary, and at times it's not even creepy...but this is worth a watch for a genre fan. If you're not a slasher fan, you'll want to look elsewhere; there are much better movies out there. 21 July 2008

Murder-Set-Pieces

This is a wretchedly awful piece of garbage! Murder-Set-Pieces is not even deserving of the 1 star minimum rating. Don't let the box art fool you! That body is nowhere in this steaming pile of cow dung. The acting is terrible. The sound is terrible. To say that the plot is terrible is inaccurate; that implies that there WAS one. There are no redeeming qualities here. This is a complete waste of time! Avoid this one like the plague! 1 Star. 14 July 2008

K-Pax

K-Pax is not what I expected. I rented this thinking I was going to watch a Sci-Fi movie but what I watched was so much more than that. This movie is fantastic. The acting is absolutely wonderful; Spacey (as Prot) is nothing less than stellar, so convincing that you really have to wonder if he IS from another planet. The story, though a little slow at times, is well-done. The movie has flaws, but the they are minor. This movie will leave you wondering: Is he or isn't he? If you liked Starman, you should give this movie a chance. A must-see for Spacey fans! 4 stars. 14 July 2008

The Ruins

The Ruins is a decent movie, neither great nor terrible. The basic plot is nothing new and the 'villian', so-to-speak, is not really scary. It's hard to be afraid of a plant. The acting is better than expected and the effects are well-done. This movie seems to be trying very hard to be scary, but it falls way short. There are no scares in this, again...a plant is the 'bad-guy.' This movie relies too much on gore and mutilation (even self-mutilation) to scare the viewer in scenes that just aren't scary. This movie was worth a watch, but barely. The special features were interesting. 2.5 Stars (rounded to 3). I recommend only to those horror fans that are easily scared and willing to overlook plots that have been done too many times. 14 July 2008

Diary of the Dead

George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead...It's hard to believe that Romero put his name on this. Diary does not live up to the other Dead movies. The visual effects were decent; the acid head trick was pretty good, but visual effects cannot make a movie good. The acting, though not as bad as some reviews indicate, is mediocre at best. This was not helped by terrible dialogue. There is some (not much, though) character development, but the characters are mostly unlikeable. The filming style simply doesn't work in this movie; we see too much due to the hand-cam filming style, suspense build-up is completely ruined. The film has Romero's typical social commentary. It didn't add anything to this film. The story was not very good. This movie could have--no, SHOULD have been great; George Romero, the father of the zombie genre, returns to his roots with another low-budget zombie movie... This movie felt like a crappy B-movie made by some nobody who had no business directing a film. On a slightly better note, the extra features were somewhat interesting to watch. 1.5 stars (rounded to 2). 14 July 2008

Numb

Numb...thats exactly how I felt while I watched this movie. I really didnt care if Hudson (Perry) ever recovered from his depersonalization or if he got the girl. The acting is okay; the on-screen chemistry between Perry and Collins left a lot to be desired. There were a few laughs, but the pace is very slow. The story seems to go nowhere. There is resolution in the end, but it just wasnt worth sitting through the entire movie for such an anti-climactic ending. I wouldnt recommend this one. 1.5 stars (rounded to 2). 5 July 2008

Night of the Living Dorks

This movie is...strange. Its pretty decent though. Its one of those movies that are so bad, theyre good. It was somewhat reminiscent of an 80s teen slasher flick (without the psychopathic serial killer and gratuitous nudity). There are quite a few laughs. This is far from a horror movie...more comedy than anything. The Instant Watch version is the dubbed version...unfortunate really because the voice acting is wretchedly awful. The dialogue is far too formal; teenagers just dont speak like that. Id rather read subtitles any day. This is an okay IW, but I dont know that Id waste a queue spot on this one...its nothing special. 3 stars. 4 July 2008

The Bucket List

This is far from my typical choice in movies...I surprised quite a few people by saying that I wanted to watch this one. And, in all honesty, about 10 minutes into it I was ready to hate it. I plugged along and found a pretty decent movie. There were laugh-out-loud moments and even a tear or two. It's very rare that a movie moves me as much as this one did. The story is well-written and superbly acted. Nicholson and Freeman are a pair made in Heaven! Their chemistry made this movie. I think if anyone else had played the leads, I wouldn't be giving this movie praise. We should all be so lucky to find a friendship like that of Edward (Nicholson) and Carter (Freeman)... 4 stars. 4 July 2008

The Time Tunnel: Vol. 1

Don't judge this by the crappy box art...this is a good show. I watched this as a kid (re-runs on The Sci-Fi channel in the '90s) and loved it; I decided to give it a shot now that I'm older and found the same great show. The story lines are interesting and well-written. The effects are, by today's standards, not great and as others have mentioned the theatrics are pretty over-the-top. Yeah, there are continuity issues and editing snafus throughout and the science is WAY out there...but name a 60's sci-fi show that didn't suffer from these problems... If you can suspend your disbelief long enough, this is a great show. If you like Quantum Leap or 60's sci-fi shows, you should give Time Tunnel a chance...you might enjoy yourself. 4 stars. 4 July 2008

Best in Show

Best in Show is a laugh-out-loud funny movie. Just hilarious! Pure genius! The movie is cast perfectly. However, this film is not for everyone, but for those of us that enjoy a good mockumentary every so often...this is a MUST SEE! And don't forget to take the time to check out the deleted scenes...some are just as hilarious as the ones left in. 5 stars! 4 July 2008

The Spiderwick Chronicles

This is a cute family-friendly movie (some of the littler ones might be scared...take caution with the littler ones). The FX are top quality; the acting is great all around. Freddie Highmore (both Simon and Jared) did wonderfully. The creatures themselves were fantastic. The plot is pretty simplistic and has been done before, but don't expect to see the same old movie again...it's very different from others with nearly identical plots. Spiderwick came just in time to ride the coattails of other recent fantasy fare. It's not the best of the bunch, but it's far from the worst. Character development was neglected and the movie did seem a bit rushed. Overall, it's a pretty good film with a couple of minor flaws. It's certainly worth a rent if you're into fantasy movies. 4 stars. 4 July 2008

10,000 B.C.

The entire film is riddled with historical inaccuracies from the weapons they used to the size of the beasts they were using them against. I could have lived with the fact that these people were speaking perfect 21st century English if the movie were accurate in any other way. And speaking of dialogue, it was atrocious. I would have preferred them to be speaking unintelligible gibberish and have to read subtitles the entire time. The people were covered in dirt and crud and yet, they had beautifully white teeth...I'm sure dental hygiene was very important in 10,000 B.C. And let's not even discuss The Pyramids... I went into this expecting a somewhat accurate depiction of life in the year 10,000 B.C., unfortunately this turd is what I got. Visually, this movie was very pretty. The CG blends fairly well. The story itself wasn't bad. It was a love story at heart. The glaring inaccuracies detracted too much from the story for me to enjoy this. You'd be better off getting a documentary about the time period and avoiding this one. If you can overlook the glaring inaccuracies, this might be worth your time...maybe. 2 stars. 4 July 2008

Vantage Point

This seemed like a really good idea for a movie...apparently not. The plot became extremely repetitive after the first two vantage points. Each point of view reveals more of the plot, but you have to watch the same thing over and over just to get a tiny bit of information. The payout wasn't worth the repetition. This movie could have been about 30 to 45 minutes--the beginning was good and the end was good, the middle was boring. The acting was not as good as I expected from this cast, but that was likely due to the terrible script and little/no character development. This movie is not without redeeming qualities. As I said, the beginning (the first time you see the story...) is really good. And the action scenes are well-done. I'm glad I didn't see this dud in the theater. It's worth a rent if you're looking for something a bit different from the norm, but don't expect greatness. 2.5 stars rounded to 3. 4 July 2008

Windowbreaker

A well-done short about stereotyping (within ones own race). In just 11 minutes Tze Chun shows us how quick one is to assume the worst about even those who belong to the same culture as you. I cant say too much more without ruining the short. This is worth the 11 minutes. A solid 4 stars. 4 July 2008

Shadow Puppets

I admit that the only reason I queued Shadow Puppets was the fact that James Marsters was in it. The synopsis didn't really sound like a good movie, but I was drawn to this turd. That being said, I had pretty low expectations going into this film and still I can hardly justify the 2 stars I've given it. This movie has many flaws and very few redeeming qualities. The writing is bad, which is probably what caused the less-than-stellar acting from a cast that can act better than the performances in this movie. The title is somewhat deceiving; the word puppet implies that someone is in control of the shadow...this is not the case. And, as another reviewer stated, it brings images of children making shadow puppets with their hands. It's unfortunate that this movie is so unoriginal. The basic plot is 'borrowed' from Cube with details thrown in from other movies (i.e. the monsters vision). The hodge-podge mess that results from borrowing from random (and much better) movies is an incredibly predictable story. There are plot holes everywhere you look. A shadow monster that is afraid of the light...that kills people in the light. There was little suspense buildup and the story was not scary in the least. The level of gore is just too low to make up for all of these flaws. The redeeming qualities? For the most part, the acting was decent. Though, I thought to myself on more than one occasion "Marsters is a better actor than this" but he finally starts hitting the mark about half-way through. The origin of the monster was interesting and the plot had a lot of potential. This movie could have been good, even scary in the right hands. The best and worst part of the movie was the end. I say this because I was glad to see it end, but they allude to a sequel. Ah, yes...I can see it now...Shadow Puppets 2: Still No Shadow Puppets... 1.5 stars rounded to 2. 4 July 2008

Botched (Uncut)

This movie is quite confused...it's not sure if it wants to be a horror movie or a heist movie. At first, you think it's going to be a heist-gone-wrong movie, but then all of a sudden somebody gets they're head cut off. The killer is...strange. Very strange. He traipses around dressed like Ivan the Terrible while ballet dancing through the halls. There is plenty of gore and quite a few laughs (not all of which are about the ballet dancing Ivan the Terrible wannabee). Stephen Dorff puts in an excellent performance. This film is certainly not without flaw, however. The rest of the cast is hit-or-miss. The accents are just horrid (which might be intentional...not sure) and the dialogue leaves something to be desired. The plot...it's a horror movie, the plot is holey when it's there. Overall, it's a decent film. If you're looking for straight horror or something scary, this one's not for you. If you can go into this knowing that it's not to be taken even the slightest bit seriously, you'll come out of the experience with a few laughs...I mean, come on, the killer performs ballet in the halls! 3.5 Stars (rounded to 4). 20 June 2008

Mad Money

Mad Money opens with a deceptively interesting scene. The girls (Keaton, Latifah and Holmes) are all in a state of panic trying to destroy the money that they've stolen. What follows is an overly simplistic, over-done plot. Bridget (Keaton) and husband Don (Danson) are, or were anyways very wealthy, but the loss of Don's job a year ago has put them in serious debt; Don is unable to find work so Bridget takes a job as a janitor. She quickly comes up with a very simplistic scheme to steal LOTS of money from the Kansas City Federal Reserve Bank. She enlists the help of a single mother looking to make a better life for her kids (Latifah) and a quirky junkie (Holmes)--or at least they thought she was a junkie. Over the course of three years they steal so much money it's beyond ridiculous. The plan is too simplistic to be interesting past the first few minutes and the few problems they encounter are solved with too much ease. Mad Money is not all bad. The acting is top-notch. There are quite a few silent laughs and a few audible giggles to be had, but not much more. This is a light-hearted movie that will not keep your interest for very long. I think the women will enjoy this more than the men, but don't expect to be rolling around on the floor laughing. 1.5 Stars (rounded to 2). 19 June 2008

The Last Horror Movie

The Last Horror Movie is an interesting break from the traditional horror movie. The snuff film premise is good; it gets old after a while, but by that time youve already watched two thirds of the movie, you might as well finish it. The premise isnt original, but the way it was done is somewhat original. The plot is non-existent, but it works in this film. You basically watch this wedding videographer-by-day and serial-killer-by-night kill random victims and videotape himself doing so. There is NO back info on the killer and no reason given for the killings. Normally this lack of information would make me rate this 1 or 2 stars, but this movie doesnt need that information. I found myself not wondering why he killed or who he really was...the movie kept my interest without those usually important details. The acting is surprisingly good; Its not scary in the least, so if youre looking for scary just keep on moving. If, however, youre looking for something a little bit different, youve found it. This is a decent instant watch. A shaky 4 stars. 19 June 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I expected so much more than this movie delivered. I love the Indy trilogy and was very much looking forward to seeing this movie in the theater (my first Indy movie on the big screen); I was most disappointed. The movie starts off strong, but then goes off in some other direction entirely and...well, the middle and end aren't good. The acting is good. We all know Ford can play Indy well. Cate Blanchett is excellent. The action doesn't stop and the scenes themselves are decent enough (though not what I'd expect from an Indy movie). The CGI is decent, at best. Unfortunately, none of these things make up for the fact that this movie is a disgrace to the Indy trilogy...Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is to Indiana Jones as Phantom Menace is to Star Wars. Is it just me or does anyone else smell another sequel? Not to say that his performance wasn't good, but LaBeouf's character seems to me to be a set up for Indy 5. The science fiction aspect of KotCS is odd and doesn't fit in the Indiana Jones world. It's just too far-fetched. The intelligence, the magic, the suspense, the mystery, and the historical aspect of the original three movies are not present in KotCS. This is what made those movies great! Lucas has destroyed another beloved trilogy. I expected much more from Spielberg; what's happened to him? If you're a die-hard Indy fan, nothing I say will keep you from seeing this turd so I won't even try. Just be sure to lower your expectations else you'll be disappointed. 2 stars (1 for the movie itself and 1 for nostalgia. 18 June 2008

Jumper

Jumper struggles through a painful 88 minutes, jumping through one plot hole into another. There are too many details (why are the Paladins trying to kill the Jumpers? Why are some people Jumpers? How does the science work? There are too many to list here) left unexplained. This movie could have been good, if they took the time to explain anything. Claudia Puig (USA Today) could not have been more accurate with the statement: "This movie defies gravity � and logic." Hayden Christensen gives a wooden performance as the lead and Rachel Bilson doesn't do much better. And Jackson looked absolutely ridiculous with that white hair! This movie is dragged down even further by a clich�d script. I wanted to like this movie; I struggled to sit through the entire thing, hoping it would get better. It didn't. It seemed like a hodgepodge of popular sci-fi themes haphazardly thrown together to make a movie. All of these things aside, visually (and ONLY visually) this movie was great. The jumps themselves were very well-done. And for that reason alone, this movie earns 2 pathetic stars. 18 June 2008

Juno

Juno is a quirky, sarcastic, quick-witted comedy. Diablo Cody is an excellent writer! The acting is phenomenal! Ellen Page has one heckuva career ahead of her. The characters are overall, likable and well-developed. The dialogue is not overly realistic (most teens ARE NOT as quick with wit/sarcasm as Juno...in fact, I've never met any), but it works just the same. The reactions to Juno's pregnancy are interestingly mild, but that works too. I just liked this movie! The only reason I held out on that last star was because the movie fell short of the hype, which is understandable considering the amount of hype this movie received. It was a great movie, don't get me wrong, totally worth a watch (and perhaps repeated viewings)...but it was just impossible for this movie to live up to the hype. A solid 4 stars. 18 June 2008

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

This movies plot was dreadfully bad. That being said, the movie does have a few redeeming qualities. The level of gore is decent and the deaths are mildly entertaining (and even original on occasion). This movie surprised me; the survivors weren't the ones I expected. That's a rarity in this genre! Good gore doesn't make a good horror movie alone; story is an important piece of the puzzle. On top of this, the acting was pretty bad (Henry Rollins being the exception) and the dialogue distracted from what little plot existed. Although, I did get a few chuckles (at how bad this movie was), I was bored throughout. This would have been 1 star, but the gore earned this little turd an extra star. A shaky 2 stars. 18 June 2008

The Golden Compass

I've not read Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" books, so I cannot speak to the translation from book to film. I'm judging this as a Fantasy/Adventure movie with no prejudices. This movie FELT like a prequel...like set-up for future movies. Of course, there are supposed to be two more, but it shouldn't FEEL like that. The plot, on a very basic level, was decent enough. The problem was pace; the movie flows for a bit, then stops for boring dialogue and then flows a bit more, then stops for more boring dialogue. It all seems very rushed. This movie would have been better if it were two movies (I know, it defeats the purpose of a trilogy if you break the first book into two movies, but still...) or a lot longer. The plot sounds like it would make for an interesting read; I'll have to pick up Pullman's book someday. The look of the movie is fantastic. The armor-clad polar bears are just stunning! Craig and Kidman both gave good performances. Unfortunately, there is little character development. This movie barely earns 2 stars for the stunning visuals. 18 June 2008

Masters of Horror: John Landis: Deer Woman

Deer Woman is an odd horror movie. A good one, but odd. The killer is certainly unique. As another reviewer pointed out, there are references to The X-Files strewn throughout and the movie really did feel a bit like an episode from the 'good old days' of The X-Files (you know, when the show was really good). To the movie: The plot is decent. The acting is nothing special, but I've seen a lot worse. This is not your typical horror movie! If you're looking for scary, you might want to reconsider this movie. It's more humor than horror. X-Files fans should be able to appreciate the oddness of this film. 4 stars. 18 June 2008

Kazaam

What can be said about this steaming pile of cow-dung...? Well, nothing good, that's for sure. I used to love Shaq (on the court). Can he play basketball? Absolutely. Can he act? Not even a little. Can he rap? His rapping skills (and I use this term VERY loosely) make his acting look like Oscar material. If you can overlook Shaq, which is not easy considering his size, you'll find the rest of the cast is just as bad. This is a very far-fetched fantasy. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a comedy...you might get a few chuckles, but they're likely to be at Shaq's attempt to rap/act. If they're handing out freebies at the local movie store and one of them is Kazaam, the other one is contracting Ebola...take Ebola. Trust me, you'll be much happier. Run from this pile of cow-dung! Run! Before it's too late! I begrudgingly give this 1 star (it's quite a compliment, really). 17 June 2008

Film Geek

Film Geek is a mildly amusing movie that is at times a bit on the boring side. Scotty (Melik Malkasian) is rather annoying but something about him is likable...I can't determine what it is. He spouts out random information about obscure films (some of which I've heard of) to people who couldn't give a rats a** about him or his movie advice. This is chuckle-worthy the first couple of times but quickly gets old. There is no character development and I'm still not sure if I was supposed to like or hate Scotty. I wouldn't recommend this one, but if you're looking for something to kill about an hour...well, it's your hour...go for it. 18 June 2008

100 Years of Horror

Christopher Lee's name on a movie (or documentary, as the case is) should mean something. It means nothing in the case of this wretched documentary. The movie glosses over the past 100 years of horror movies, leaving out quite a few of the BIG ones. Don't expect a thorough history lesson here. And hey, zombies need love too! Not a single mention of this sub-genre. This docs only redeeming quality is the behind-the-scenes footage of Karloff. That was at least interesting to see. I wouldn't say it was worth sitting through the entire doc to see that, though. I wouldn't recommend wasting your time on this dud. 18 June 2008

Otis

This movie was disappointing. This movie could have been really good...if it had been done right. I think it would have been better had the focus been horror or comedy; maybe it's just me, but the plot of this movie doesn't mesh well with horror AND comedy. Don't get me wrong, there were funny moments throughout, but...it was missing the suspense of a horror movie. Bostin Christopher (Otis) is superb as the deranged pedophile! Jere Burns, good performance aside, was just annoying as the completely inept FBI Agent. I'm hoping the character was written like that (if not, I retract my comment about a good performance); it was too over-the-top...I mean, there's inept and then there's this guy; he might belong in the looney bin right next to Otis. I did enjoy parts of this movie. Especially the family's revenge. This movie had clever moments and funny moments, but overall I was bored. If you're a dark comedy fan and you need a fix, you might enjoy this. If you're looking for horror, this isn't what you're looking for. 2.5 Stars rounded to 3. 13 June 2008

Raiders of the Damned

This movie is not even deserving of the minimum 1 star rating. I can honestly think of NOTHING good to say about this movie. The acting was terrible. The script was terrible. The make-up and effects were just wretchedly awful! Plot holes everywhere. The rescue squad travels by horse to the zombie encampment...why? Because Lewis (Richard Greico) likes horses. What??? And I never did figure out why Lewis (a man of science, for Heaven's sake!) carries around and pets a cat toy. My last cat actually had that exact toy mouse, same color and everything... I've seen some terrible zombie movies in my day and this makes all of those steaming piles of cow dung look like top-notch Hollywood productions. This movie has NO redeeming qualities. Don't be like me and see all of the 1-star reviews and think they're just being too hard on this little gem. It's not a gem! It's a steaming pile of cow dung. Trust the reviews on this one! Turn around and never return to this page! I wouldn't recommend this to anyone! 13 June 2008

Shallow Ground

I went into this movie thinking "meh, just another cheesy B-Horror movie," but what I saw was a well-done, (very) low-budget, interesting film. It doesn't look low-budget: the gore effects are really good, the acting is shockingly good for the genre (even decent compared to Hollywood productions), the plot, actually somewhat original, is solid. The story is suspenseful enough to keep you on the edge of your seat. There's PLENTY of gore and a decent body count; even the gorehounds should be satisfied. Don't get me wrong, this movie is not perfect. There is little character development, but that's nothing new for us horror fanatics. The ending was horribly disappointing. There's a lot of 'unfinished business' that the movie just leaves unfinished. Of course, being a horror film, there's a set-up for a sequel. If it weren't for the ending, this would have been a 5 star movie...as it is, a solid 4 stars. If you're a horror fan, give this movie a chance. 6 June 2008

Soul Maid

This is one of those movies that is so wretchedly bad that it's good. This is not your typical coming-out movie or your typical [insert anything here] movie. It's just bizarre. The acting is not good; the dialogue is worse. Joe Schenck does a pretty good job of playing both a gay man (who experiences 'hippy-dippy brain farts')and a straight man (with no apparent brain farts). The plot is WAY out there. This movie is bad, but if you can make it through the first half-hour or so, you'll be in for an...interesting experience. This isn't a bad Instant Watch. If you're looking for the bizarre, you've found it; if you're looking for a typical coming-out story or a Hollywood production you HAVE NOT found it...keep looking. 2.5 stars (rounded to 3). 5 June 2008

The Rambler

Watching The Rambler is like watching a really bad full-length B-horror movie...you know the ones Im talking about, the ones that are so wretchedly bad you just cant stop watching. Thats the feeling I got with this short. The acting leaves a lot to be desired and the gore is pretty cheesy-looking. At only 13 minutes you dont have too long to sit. This short was disgustingly disturbing. If you like that kind of thing (like myself), youll get some enjoyment out of this. Just a word of warning: this is not for the weak-stomached. This short holds on for a solid 3 stars. 3 June 2008

One Rat Short

This 10 minute short is worth every second. There was not a single word spoken (of course, rats don't speak...so that kind of makes sense) and yet the emotion conveyed perfectly. This is a moving piece. If you have a few spare minutes, you should watch this little short. I highly recommend One Rat Short. 5 Stars! 3 June 2008

Little Farm

Little Farm is disturbing, very disturbing actually. At 8 minutes I would have thought it impossible to have unecessary scenes, but Calvin Reeder managed to throw a couple in. This short could have been bettter, but it holds on for 2.5 stars (rounded to 3). The last two minutes are VERY disturbing and somewhat out of nowhere. Explanation would have been wonderful, but none was offered. I recommend if you like the odd stuff--one reviewer mentioned Eraserhead...yeah, if you liked Eraserhead, youll probably get some enjoyment out of this. 3 June 2008

The Eye

This was an interesting movie. It starts off really slow, but once it gets moving it doesn't stop. The script is mediocre at best and the acting is decent considering what they're given to work with. The plot was solid and the story itself was enough to hold your interest throughout (even if it's predictable). There a couple of jump-scares attributed to camera trickwork, not anything particularly scary. The movie gives a sense of creepiness but nothing more. If you're jonesing for a thriller, any thriller, give this one a shot; if you're looking for a thrilling roller-coaster of a movie, keep on looking. 2.5 stars. 4 June 2008

Spider

Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye - Mum Indeed... This short was one of the best Ive seen yet. This little short (7 minutes) causes a whirlwind of emotions. Im still in shock, minutes later. Holy crap is all I can think. I wont say too much, wouldnt want to ruin the shock value...but I will say watching this short is time well spent. I highly recommend this short to anyone with 7 minutes to spare! 3 June 2008

Death to the Tinman

This is an interesting little short (12 minutes). I admit, I've seen nothing quite like it before. I've never read the story it's based on, so I don't know if it was any good in that respect...but this short is well worth the watch. The acting is decent enough, the story is interesting and engaging. This was an odd one, but if you have 12 minutes to spare give it shot. 3 June 2008

Eragon

Eragon, helping his uncle tend to the farm, learns that he is the last Dragon Rider. After his uncle is murdered by the villain's henchmen he finds what turns out to be a former Dragon Rider/teacher who leads him to the rebellion...does any of this sound familiar to you. I seem to recall something like this...gee what movie was that? Oh, that's right! It was called Star Wars! This movie could have been pretty good, I mean if it didn't try to be Star Wars with dragons. Even beyond that, the plot was weak and a mediocre script did nothing to help the situation which was only made even worse by acting that was sub-par. The dragon looked fantastic and the action scenes were pretty decent but that's all this movie did right. I wouldn't even recommend this to die-hard fantasy fans; if you're looking for a decent dragon movie, rent Dragonheart and stay away from this turd. 31 May 2008

The Lather Effect

Perhaps I'm just a bit too young to get the nostalgic feel I'm pretty sure I was supposed to get from this movie (I remember the '80s but wasn't a teen; I was born in '82). I recognized the music and enjoyed that aspect of the movie. The premise was pretty good, the plot fairly decent. The Lather Effect was a little unevenly paced with interesting parts interspersed between the mildly dull ones. The entire cast was great and the comedy worked...I laughed out loud on more than one occasion. Eric Stoltz was perfect. The Lather Effect gets 2.5 stars (rounded to 3) because it is certainly worth a watch and for the teens of the '80s, I think there's something here for you that I missed. It's a decent little Indie Comedy. 30 May 2008

Rambo

Rambo is certainly action-packed. That's one of the few things this movie has going for it, so it's a good thing there's plenty of action and gore (lots of bodies being blown to bits). The plot is pretty light, which is forgivable for a Rambo movie. The acting is excellent (duh!); Stallone, in his 60s, still looks like the action-hero of old. My only gripe with this movie is the ending. The very last scene made sense, that's not my complaint...but the end of the story in Burma. The story seemed like it just got cut off--like there should have been more to it. I gave this 3 stars because, despite my best efforts, I was comparing it to First Blood the entire time. Overall, a decent action movie; First Blood was far superior, but this one holds true to the Rambo series. If you're a fan of the series, you should definitely see this. 30 May 2008

Over Her Dead Body

Before I get into this, I feel I should mention that Romantic Comedy is not my favorite genre. That being the case, I went into this movie with fairly low expectations. I didn't expect to start saying that Over Her Dead Body was my all-time favorite movie or anything, but I did expect to see a pretty funny movie. What I got was a very predictable plot, a very annoying ghost and a few chuckles. I admit, I like the premise of this movie...I suppose I expected to see something like Ghost with a twist. This movie is not even close to Ghost. This movie should have been hilarious. I mean, look at the cast! Paul Rudd, Jason Biggs...do I even need to go any further? Biggs and Rudd both give decent performances, considering what little they had to work with. Lake Bell does a great job in her role as the new love interest. Eva Longoria is extremely annoying in this movie; her character is incredibly unlikable. The plot itself is pretty weak; if you make through to the end, it's very predictable. This movie barely holds on to that second star (the parrot has it in its beak). This movie had potential...if fell way short of the mark. I'd recommend only to true RomCom lovers; anyone else should just hit the back button on your browser now before it's too late. 30 May 2008

Satan's Little Helper

This steaming pile of cow dung had me fooled; I read the synopsis and thought I'd found a decent little horror flick. There are a lot of problems with this movie, the first being that it's NOT scary in the least--not even a jump scare. The script is just atrocious and the acting does little to mask it. The characters are so far beyond stupid it's not even funny. Why would this sociopath be hanging around this annoying little kid? Why wouldn't he just kill the kid and be done with it? The level of gore barely even qualifies as gore (though there was one disturbing scene with a cat...). The video game twist was a bit much for my taste--not blaming the games for the killing, but blaming the games for the kids trust in Satan. It felt too much like someone's political agenda was being forced down my throat. I would recommend passing this one up and watching something worth your time. 30 May 2008

Eraserhead

This film is not for everyone! Its the strangest thing Ive ever seen. There is no plot and yet, I was drawn to this...this oddity. Its a bit slow at times and downright boring at others, but if you sit through it, youll be in awe of how truly odd this film was. Im not even sure what I liked about the film--perhaps the bizarre nature or maybe it was the little chickens... I cant say that I enjoyed watching this and as such, I cannot say that I recommend this, but if youre looking for strangeness for no reason you might give this a shot. 30 May 2008

Dead Meat

Any movie with a zombie clown AND a zombie cow in it gets 3 stars in my book. Dead Meat is a terribly bad movie, but thats what makes it good. The acting is surprisingly good for a zombie movie, a little bit dry but good nonetheless. The plot was nothing spectacular, but thats nothing abnormal for a zombie movie. The level was gore was fairly low (relative to other zombie movies); the gore effects themselves could have been better. There was plenty of zombie action in this one, hundreds of the little buggers chasing the characters around. Some of the killings were somewhat cheesy...I mean, a high-heel as an effective way to kill a zombie is just not right. It was mostly decapitations and head-bashings. The origin of zombies was unique, odd, but unique. My only real complaint is that I was only able to understand about 75% of the dialogue due to the thick Irish accents (the man with glasses in particular). If youre a zombie or B-horror fanatic, take a look at this one. If not, there are better movies out there. 29 May 2008

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still is an excellent film. The fact that a film, 57 years after its release, is still relevant is amazing. The message here is wonderfully delivered with an interesting well-written story, well-developed characters and superb acting. The special effects will turn some people off, but I feel that they add to the overall feel of the movie. And the choice to do this movie in black & white was a good one; I think something would be lost if it were in color. This is not your every-day-garden-variety sci-fi movie: theres not much action, there arent any drooling monsters, shape-changing robots or furry little critters invading Earth. This is one of those thinky movies; it will leave you thinking, wondering...yeah, movies used to be able to do that. While its very clear that the political climate of the 40s and 50s is why the government responded as they did, wouldnt we react much the same way today(just on a larger scale)? The 1950s saw a lot of terrible sci-fi movies. This one is the diamond in the rough. I see now why it is considered a classic. This is a must-see for anyone who considers themselves a sci-fi fan. I highly recommend! 30 May 2008

SeaQuest DSV: Season 1

I watched SeaQuest DSV religiously in the 90's. I've seen every episode at least five or six times. The special effects were always top quality. The acting is excellent. SeaQuest's Captain was the perfect role for Roy Scheider; he is excellent! The entire cast is phenomenal. Season one is by far the best in this series. This show is still a good watch 15 years later! Fans of Star Trek might find this a good view...almost like a 'before the NCC-1701' kind of a show for Trekkies. If you're a lover of Sci-fi television, you should watch SeaQuest. 27 May 2008

Spliced

A NF friend actually warned me about this film, calling it a flaming turd. I, instead of listening to my friend who had already suffered through this, hit play. What I found was a movie that seemed to be missing a lot. All of the important things, actually: plot, motivation (for the killer), any character depth, consistency...Some of these things can be overlooked; we are talking B-horror here, but ALL of these things missing in the same movie is not do-able. What little plot that existed was very weak. The movie has a Scream sequel feel to it; you know, the movie within a movie...killer in the movie becomes the killer in real-life. The only problem with this in Spliced is that they don't show us enough of the killer in the movie or the killer in real-life for us to get a feel for him. If we'd been exposed more to the pool of suspects (Mary's friends), it may have been easier to connect with Mary and her struggle to find out who was making her wishes come true. The acting was mediocre at best, though that may have been due to poor dialog. If you just can't resist crappy B-horror movies, give this a watch, but don't waste a queue spot on this one. This flaming turd (as another so eloquently put it) has just landed and is now a steaming pile of cow dung. 1.5 stars and that is rather generous. 22 May 2008

Undead or Alive

What do you get when you throw a western, a zombie movie and a comedy in a pot together? You get Undead or Alive. This movie was better than I expected it to be. Kattan and Denton actually make a pretty decent pair. There are quite a few laughs in this one. The make up is top-notch; there are 'stages' of zombieness (wow, that IS NOT a word) that are all very well done. The plot is simple enough--we're being chased by zombies, run!--with some unique details on the origin of zombies. It's not a particularly original story, but it works just fine. The ending, if you pay even a little attention, is predictable, but that's nothing new for zombie movies. If you liked Shaun of the Dead, you should give this one a chance. 3.5 Stars 20 May 2008

Gangs of the Dead

Gangs of the Dead is a decent movie. I went into this with pretty low expectations and was surprised by what I saw. Plot holes abound in this one. Why are the zombies green? How did the zombies get into the van? There are plenty more... Its a classic zombie plot (Were being chased by zombies! Run! Barricade ourselves in this building, fight for our lives and die anyways) with an odd twist (rival gangs). The rival gang thing was a bit annoying after a while. They never came together and fought their way out of the situation like I expected; they fought each other until the end. The effects were pretty decent considering the low budget nature of the flick. The acting was better than the norm for a zombie flick. There was no character depth (typical) and some of the characters were downright irritating; I couldnt wait for a few of them to be feasted on. There is A LOT of pervasive language as the R rating indicates (every few words, in fact). It didnt bother me, but if youre offended by the F-word, skip this one. The level of gore is pretty decent. I would recommend this only to a true zombie lover; if zombies are just mildly entertaining to you, there are much better choices out there. 20 May 2008

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

This is NOT your typical slasher film! Behind the Mask is a refreshingly original addition to the slasher sub-genre. Its not scary...its more mockumentary than horror, but thats okay; this movie just works. Nathan Baesel is absolutely fantastic in the role of Leslie Vernon! The acting as a whole was far better than the norm for this genre. This film addresses every horror movie cliche they could fit in. The movie presents an interesting look at the stuff that happens before the movie starts; the stuff that under normal circumstances would likely be very boring, but the crew filming a documentary about Leslie Vernon made all of the prep that goes into being a serial slasher very interesting. Very little gore, a few scares and quite a few laughs. I highly recommend to anyone who considers themselves a fan of slasher flicks. 20 May 2008

P.S. I Love You

I'd have to say this movie is actually 1.5 stars, rounded to 2. Hillary Swank, a decent actress in the right role, was a bad casting choice in this film. She was annoying and quite unlikable. And a lack of on-screen chemistry made it difficult to get into the story, which could have made for a pretty decent movie. This movie is far from my typical choice, so I went into it with pretty low expectations and came out of it still disappointed. The way this movie was advertised showed more of a romantic comedy than the romantic drama that it truly was. It was overly sentimental. There were a few funny moments that made me chuckle, but nothing more. It wasn't all bad, I did like the way he (the late husband) got the letters to Holly. I'm still not sure why I needed the box of tissue...it wasn't even touched... I wouldn't recommend this to any except the truest fan of romantic dramas. 17 May 2008

People Who Die Mysteriously in Their Sleep

This movie is...bizarre. Bizarre really doesn't even begin to describe the film. I'm still not entirely sure what the point was...or what the movie was even about. I really don't get it, at all. View this at your own risk; if you want something bizarre, you've found it. 17 May 2008

Baby Mama

This movie was disappointing. It was slow and predictable. It starts out strong, then gets REALLY slow in the middle. It picks up a little bit only to end in a terribly predictable way. There were too many hints before the "big-twist-ending." Tina Fey gets high marks as does the rest of the cast. I expected a hilarious fall-off-your-chair comedy and got...this...mildly amusing movie. I expected raunchy jokes and envelope-pushing humor--neither of which were present. 2.5 stars for cuteness (rounded to 3) 17 May 2008

Masters of Horror: Dario Argento: Pelts

Pelts takes a very odd, very good story and really brings it to life on the screen. The characters werent overly likable, but that was a good thing, considering. The acting was as expected for the genre. There is a definite creep-factor here and plenty of gore to keep the gore-hounds interested. The special effects are great; Argento does slow, terrible death so well... My only real gripe with this movie is the lack of explanation about the skins strange power. I mean, the story is great, but it would have been preferable to know WHY or HOW these raccoon skins kill. Argento gets quite a bit accomplished in only 58 minutes. Overall, a nice addition to the Masters of Horror series; worth a watch if youre a horror fan. 3.5 stars 17 May 2008

Masters of Horror: John Carpenter: Cigarette Burns

John Carpenter has something here. The premise of this one is solid. The characters are a bit detached, but overall fairly likable. The acting was decent, not great. The script was a little weak, but the story makes up for that a little bit. There were quite a few jump moments and a decent level of gore. If youre looking for a horror movie that you havent seen a thousand times with a thousand different titles, this movie fits the bill. Its not the greatest movie to ever grace the genre with its presence, but its a decent watch. 17 May 2008

Rest Stop

Where to begin...I'll point out the good points first...um...well...The acting was okay, I mean I've seen worse in this genre. Now, onto the bad stuff. There was a VERY weak plot here, that at most times wasn't even apparent and at the few times that it was, it was unbelievably predictable. We know virtually nothing about the killer, except that he's a psycho who drives a yellow truck and likes to torture people. Character development isn't all-important in a slasher, but we need at least a few details on the motivation of the killer. Speaking of characters, the heroine was a bloody moron. She could have escaped so many times and yet, she decides to stick around, have a drink and then hang out in the bathroom. Why? Because she's a complete moron. Now, I honestly think I could have overlooked all of that if this movie stayed within the boundaries of a slasher. It, however, decided mid-way through to throw the viewer for a loop and change what we perceived as a living victim into a tortured soul killed 30+ years ago. Crappy slasher movies cannot be ghost stories too. Someone forgot to tell these people that. And the ending--I don't know that there is a word strong enough to describe the wretchedness that is the ending of this movie. This disappointment looked really good from the previews and even started out pretty decent, there was a lot of potential here. Unfortunately, Rest Stop fell flat on its face. If you're a die-hard B-horror fan, you might be able to stomach this. If not, just keep on moving. 13 May 2008

Day of the Dead

What do you get when you combine Spiderman and 28 Days Later then call it a remake of Romeros Day of the Dead? I'll tell you what you get: A steaming pile of cow dung! This movie is NOT true to the original! This is a disgrace to the Dead Series. The only reason this movie earned 2 stars is because, if you look at it as simply another random zombie movie, it's bearable. The acting is better than I'd expect from a zombie flick. To be honest, I hardly even consider these creatures to be zombies, but for lack of a better term... The plot is completely unoriginal--it's a 'we're being chased by zombies! Run!' story, nothing more. The level of gore was moderate and the effects were mediocre at best. If you're a purist, avoid this one like the plague. If not, still view at your own risk. 12 May 2008

Ask the Insects

This was...strange. Not the good kind of strange. The confusing, frustrating kind of strange. None of it made any sense to me. The first bit hurt my eyes and last bit hurt my ears. Even at 8 minutes, it was too long. I found myself checking the timer several times; the time just dragged on and on. Don't waste the 8 minutes; you can never get them back. 12 May 2008

In Passing

This was a very interesting short. It allows us (sighted individuals) a glimpse into a world that we hope we never have to experience first-hand. I've often wondered how visually impaired people do the things that I do everyday without a second thought; now I have an idea of how they walk about in a crowded city. At only 5 minutes, what do you have to lose? 12 May 2008

Plasterhead

Plasterhead is an interesting little horror flick. I say 2.5 stars (rounded to 3). There are quite a few flaws here. The acting is typical of a B-horror movie, but the terrible dialog makes the acting seem that much worse. Of course, typical of the genre, there is little character development...this might have been easy to overlook if the plot had been at least half-way original or good. There are quite a few plot holes and its completely unoriginal, merely taking plot points from half-a-dozen other movies and smashing them together into a hodge-podge story. The pace is a bit jumpy, there is buildup and then nothing. All of that being said, now on to the monster himself: Plasterhead. He is actually fairly original; our first encounter with Plasterhead (in the first minute or so of the movie) is wonderful. Unfortunately, thats the only time we see him without his plaster cast on his head. And the backstory on him is somewhat lackluster; they should have spent a little more time on character development of the monster. There were a couple of jump moments, but they were few and far between. The gore level was low to moderate. The death scenes themselves were...okay, but not anything spectacular. Looking at the box art alone, I thought this movie had some potential; it fell short. If youre a B-Horror Movie fan, youll probably get some enjoyment out of this. If youre a big-budget horror movie fan, do yourself a favor and keep on moving. 9 May 2008

Untitled #1

That was the strangest 4 minutes of film I think Ive ever seen. Several minutes later, Im still laughing. Im not sure why Im laughing; it wasnt funny really. It was kinda trippy, though. The cat (sitting on my lap throughout the 4 minutes) was mesmerized by it. Its only 4 minutes, just hit play. 5 May 2008

Teat Beat of Sex

An odd little cartoon... It's not educational as it claims to be, but its humorous. Its only 4 minutes long; I waste away more time just staring off into to space. I had to laugh at this. It was cheesy and the animation is very simplistic, but I think that adds to the overall feel of the--can I really call this a movie???--cartoon. This is certainly one of the strangest things Ive seen. Got a couple minutes to waste? Give this a shot. Not for the prudes of the world. 5 May 2008

Christopher Reeve: Hope in Motion

This documentary very difficult to watch, knowing that he died without making a full recovery. It is a very well-done doc, very honest, very respectful. Matthew Reeve did a phenomenal job on this. It documents Reeve's day-to-day struggles and huge breakthroughs in his recovery. It was nice to get a look into his life after the accident. He was so outwardly optimistic, an absolute inspiration. As mentioned in the film, he once played Superman, but he truly became a super man. 5 May 2008

Outing Riley

This is not your garden-variety coming out movie. It was funny and serious at the same time...if that makes sense. There were a few laugh-out-loud moments. The script was flawed, but overall pretty decent. The cast was good, their chemistry worked. This movie had a lot of potential and I think it fell short. The ending was a rather unexpected twist. The main reason this movie only got 3 stars from me: Pete Jones (Bobby Riley) talks TO the camera; I've never liked that. Of course, there's a reason given for that in the first seconds of the movie, but I still don't like it. Overall, this was a pretty decent movie...it just could have been so much better. It's worth a rent if you're looking for a different sort of coming out story and a few good laughs.

The Butterfly Effect 2

If you're interested in this movie because you liked the first one, use your browser's back button now and never come back to this page. This movie is nothing like the first one. The only similarity is that both plots are based around The Chaos Theory. The acting in TBE2 is terrible. The main character is a dick who was difficult to connect with. This movie started off slow, continued being slow and ended with an obvious setup for a third movie. This one is NOT worth the time, that 92 minutes could be better spent doing anything but watching this movie. 5 May 2008

The Day of the Dead

I wish I'd read the reviews BEFORE watching this documentary! What a waste of time. As the other reviewers mentioned, it offers little information on The Day of the Dead but loads of footage of the band Quetzal. Don't even bother. 5 May 2008

Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat

This movie is somewhat difficult to review...With names like Misti Morning, Candi Graham, Lacey Undies, Bambi Deere, and Trixi Treater I expected to stop this one after 15 or 20 minutes but I was mesmerized by how terrible this movie was. I couldnt stop watching it. To say that the acting was horrible would actually be a compliment, but its a slasher movie--we dont watch them for the stellar performances. At times I felt like I was watching a REALLY bad porn...After a while, you dont even notice the terrible acting. I expected a lot of gore, which I definitely got; most of the gory scenes were incredibly unrealistic, but again-slasher movie. This is the first movie that has disgusted me to the point that I actually had to stop eating. This movie is not for the weak-stomached (which should be quite evident from the title alone). I rated this movie 3 stars because, while I didnt actually like the movie, something made me stick it out to the end...perhaps it was morbid curiosity, perhaps it was the horridness of the movie...I dont know for sure. If youre into B-movies, give this one a shot; Ive seen worse. If youre a fan of huge-budget Hollywood horror flicks, keep on moving--this ones not for you. 5 May 2008

Species

This is a really good movie. I can't believe I didn't see this movie 13 years ago; it would have been right up my alley. The acting is pretty good, not that you'd know it from many of the reviews that seem to be more concerned about Natasha Henstridge's breasts than the actual movie. The only actor I didn't like in this was Forest Whitaker, which is surprising; I usually love him, but his character was a little too...dopey. He was not the right actor for that role. The story is interesting enough to keep your attention and for those of you that lose interest perhaps the nudity will peak your interest instead. I'd recommend this to sci-fi fans. 5 May 2008

Weeds: Season 1

The Weeds is not what I expected. I suppose I was hoping for something like AMCs Breaking Bad. This show was mildly funny at times, but not funny enough to make me want more. Even the acting was good, but still...I find myself unable to like this series. I consider myself to be a very open-minded individual, so Im certain that it wasnt the drug/sex/language that turned me off. IMO, it wasn't really that explicit; it almost seemed watered-down for something appearing on ShowTime. 5 May 2008

Stir of Echoes

This movie is fantastic. Kevin Bacon was dead-on. The story sucks you in early and holds on tight. There are similarities between this and The Sixth Sense, but the two are completely different movies; there is a creepiness here that was not present in Sixth Sense. Stir of Echoes relies on a good story to keep the movie moving forward and the audience on the edge of their seats. I definitely recommend this to horror and psychological thriller fans. 5 May 2008

Ocean's Twelve

WARNING: THIS MOVIE MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS AND SEVERE BOREDOM!!! Disappointment doesn't even begin to cover the feeling I had when I finished watching this movie. It's rare that I enjoy a movie so little that I forgot I even saw it...this was one of those movies. In fact, I payed 7 dollars to see this steaming pile of cow dung at the theater, then 3 years later rented it on NF so I could watch it before I watched 13. About 20 minutes in I realized I'd already seen it...pathetic. With a cast like that, how could this movie suck so bad??? I read the professional critic's reviews and expected a great sequel. Did they watch some other version of this movie with all the parts? 5 May 2008

Fingerprints

This movie was actually pretty good. The acting was shockingly good for a B-movie. The plot was fairly solid...Wait, did I just say something good about the plot of a horror movie??? Yeah, this movie not only had a plot but it had a pretty decent one at that. Like another reviewer mentioned, the story seems a little familiar like Ive seen it somewhere else, but I cant place it. The level of gore is pretty low, but that works for this movie. They relied more on story and atmosphere to scare the crap out of you. Overall, a mildly scary, very entertaining movie. 3 May 2008

Freedom Fries: And Other Stupidity We'll Have to Explain to Our Grandchildren

This documentary was very disappointing and on two or three separate occasions I thought of turning it off. I sat the entire 50 minutes of wretchedness perhaps because I wanted to torture myself...Im not sure. The message about the Freedom Fries and how stupid it was to rename French Fries, a product grown in Idaho that originated in Belgium, to Freedom Fries was good. And that part was actually interesting, but then they moved on to support for our troops in Iraq--or lack thereof. Im not going to get into that, though... The rest of the documentary was Bush-bashing, anti-consumerism nonsense. Now dont get me wrong, I hate Bush just as much as the next Democrat, but I respect the position he holds and find it troubling that people so openly disrespect the President. Even beyond these things, the title is incredibly misleading; I expected to see more of the idiotic things that have been done/said in the name of patriotism since 9/11. Dont waste your 50 minutes on this one. 4 May 2008

Fido

Fido is a refreshingly original addition to the plethora of zombie movies out there. If Lassie were a domesticated flesh-eating-zombie named Fido...well, you get the point. Billy Connolly (Fido) is fantastic! He steals the whole show literally without ever even saying a word. This IS NOT a scary movie--no things that go bump in the night, nothing jumping out at you--it IS a funny movie. If youre looking for a good laugh, this is the movie for you. 3 May 2008

Hitman

This movie was enjoyable. I think fans of the games will enjoy it somewhat more than someone who's never played the games. It was kind of cool to see Agent 47 outside of the video game world. The plot was mediocre at best, but the action scenes, which were spectacular, keep your interest long enough to finish out the movie. Timothy Olyphant was perfect for Agent 47; Vin Diesel himself couldn't have done it better. If you go into this knowing that video game movies typically aren't good and lower your expectations a bit, you'll be able to enjoy an action-packed movie about an emotionless (well...mostly emotionless) hitman. 3 May 2008

Enchanted

This is a sappy, feel-good movie from beginning to end. If you're okay with that, you'll love this movie. Disney pokes fun at itself throughout the movie, which only adds to the charm of the whole thing. The acting is fantastic; I love Amy Adams as the princess. This is one parents can watch with the little ones and not be bored out of your mind. 2 May 2008

In Search of History: Voodoo Secrets

This documentary was...informative. I've not studied this particular subject very much so the information presented was mostly new to me. It was well organized just as expected from a History Channel documentary. I recommend this one. I should note that this is not for the weak-stomached; they show footage of animal sacrifices. 2 May 2008

Charles in Charge: Season 1: "Friends and Lovers"

I remember watching Charles in Charge when I was a kid. It's just as good as I remember it, too. My only complaint about Season 1 is the pilot...they don't actually show you HOW Charles came to be in charge; they allude to it but never actually show it. But Charles in Charge is a good watch for those children of the 80's...you know who you are. And those pre-adolescent girls who had a HUGE crush on Scott Baio... Does this one stand the test of time? I think it can certainly hold its own. 29 April 2008

P2

P2 is a decent movie, but it's been done too many times before. There is a decline in originality amongst movies in the horror/thriller genre these days. Oh, there have been some originals, but then they pop out a movie like P2. The acting is bearable with the exception of Wes Bentley who is absolutely wonderful as the crazy guy. There is enough gore to keep even the gorehounds interested long enough to make it through the end of the movie. I wouldn't recommend this one, there are much better thrillers out there. 29 April 2008

The Mist

Not Frank Darabont's best King flick and, in all honesty, not my favorite King novella. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent movie; I enjoyed watching it. I just felt it could have been better. The movie starts off kind of slow, but once it picks up the overall creepiness factor sticks around throughout the rest of the movie. The effects are decent...the first creature that appears from the mist (the tentacled critter under the loading dock door of the grocery store) felt like a B-movie throwback which was cool. The ending will leave you with one of two feelings: love or hate. I thought the ending was terrible the first time I saw the movie, but upon a second viewing I've fallen in love with the irony of it all. If you're a King or Darabont fan, you should give this one a chance. 29 April 2008

The King of Kong

An excellent documentary! I sat down with this and was sucked into it within seconds. If you wasted hours of your life playing Donkey Kong at the arcade or even on the early consoles, this is a must-watch! Non-gamers will be bored, but might enjoy the competition angle. 29 April 2008

Captivity

Wow! I can't believe all of the terrible reviews about this movie! I mean, it's not Oscar material or anything (not even close) but it's certainly not the worst movie ever made. This movie has its problems: Is the plot thin? Yes, but what do you really expect from a horror movie. Is the movie predictable? Yeah, but aren't they all anymore. Is the acting less than stellar? Did you not see that this is a horror movie; of course the acting is less than stellar. I fear this movie will not get the chance it deserves based on the sheer number of bad reviews, but if you've made it all the way to my review, take a second and hit the add button...it's not as bad as it's made out to be. 29 April 2008

Halloween

I was excited to hear of a Halloween remake, but then I heard it was to be a Rob Zombie film and was very worried about Michael Myers. I see that my concern was justified; Rob Zombie has destroyed Michael Myers. I like that the beginning of the movie focused on Myers' childhood after the killing but it wasn't done well. I think the casting could have been better in this movie, the kid was okay but I just couldn't see him as Michael Myers. And not even a cameo from Jamie Lee Curtis?!? Come on! The entire second half of the film is nothing that we haven't seen about a billion times before. No originality here ...I understand that it's a 're-make' but the beginning was completely different from the original and yet I was still left with the feeling that I've seen it all. This movie had so much potential...too bad Zombie got his grubby little mitts on it. Don't bother. 29 April 2008

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

The HP movies are getting darker and darker. Order is a fine addition to the series. I was a bit concerned when they switched directors on us to David Yates, but my concern was clearly unnecessary. Yates does a superb job. As for the accuracy compared to the book, well...they left out Harry's date with Cho which I thought should have had at a least a minute or two of screen time. Of course, they left out things like Quiditch scenes and most of the O.W.L.S. stuff, but these things are to be expected. Overall, it was fairly true to the book. My biggest complaint about this installment of Potter is Tonks. Whoever cast that role should be terminated; she doesn't even resemble the description in the books. And Dobby was left out entirely. This was a good movie, though. If you're a Potter fan, you've probably already seen this but if you haven't add it to your queue now. Even if you're new to the series, you'll still be able to follow the action. 29 April 2008

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

This final installment should have been broken up into two installments. There was just too much happening. And by that, I don't mean to much action (is there such a thing...?), but too much story. There were plot twists followed by more plot twists. I had a difficult time keeping track of things. On a better note, the acting was nothing less than superb. The effects, as expected, were top-notch. If you're a fan of the previous two movies, give this a shot...if you lost interest after the second installment, don't bother with this one, it's not even as good as that one. 29 April 2008

Martian Child

Martian Child is a cute movie. John Cusack does a superb job as a widower adopting a very strange little boy. And Bobby Coleman was absolutely perfect as that strange little boy. A few parts of the movie get a bit slow, but wait it out for the few minutes and you'll be happy you did. A good movie to sit and watch with the family. 29 April 2008

Mr. Brooks

Mr. Brooks is an interesting film. The Costner/Hurt team was particularly enjoyable. Hurt was the perfect choice for Costner's evil alter-ego. The fact that Mr. Brooks is an upstanding citizen (he's Man of the Year!) who just happens to be addicted to killing turned a lot of people off. My only question to them is this: Do you really believe that these types of people don't have dirty little secrets? You should give this one a shot; you might just like it. 29 April 2008

The Santa Clause 3

This is a cute family movie. It's not as good as the first two, but it's worth a rent. Martin Short is over-the-top as always, adding something to the film. I think they've stretched this series out as far as they can go with it...with any luck they won't try for a SC4. The kids will love it, the parents will likely enjoy it. 29 April 2008

The Nazis: A Warning from History

Absolutely one of the BEST documentaries out there on the Nazis. This is one of the only documentaries on the subject to actually detail what happened before the war without bias. There are load of interview snippets with for Reich members and Jewish people recalling the atrocities of pre-war Germany. The series is 6 very well organized 45 minute episodes. Each episode covers a different topic and many contain information that I've not seen elsewhere. There are a couple of times that I thought the series got a little long-winded, but I simply couldn't stop watching. If you haven't seen this yet, you should get this onto your queue. 29 April 2008

The Aristocrats

The Aristocrats allows the viewer an interesting look at improv. One joke told over and over for 90 minutes sounds incredibly boring. Doesn't it? Well, it's not. Every comedian tells it different. This joke is not for the faint-of-heart; it is a dirty little joke. I recommend for anyone who enjoys a dirty joke. Prudes need not apply. 29 April 2008

In Search of History: Salem Witch Trials

This documentary was only mildly interesting. It presents nothing new on the subject. And at only 43 minutes it barely has time to gloss over the topic. The upside to the short running time is that you dont have too much time to wonder when its going to get really interesting... Its certainly not the worst Salem Witch Trials doc out there but for a History Channel documentary, I expected more. If youre looking for a good Salem doc, keep searching...this isnt the one youre looking for. 29 April 2008

I'm with Lucy

This was an interesting movie about Lucy and her 5 blind dates. The acting was good; I really enjoyed Anthony LaPaglia's former baseball player character...not sure why I liked that guy so much, but... Anyway, to the point: This is a light-hearted chick-flick that will have you wondering which of these crazy blind dates ends up getting the girl. It's worth a watch. 29 April 2008

The Natural History of the Chicken

The natural history of the chicken has still not been explored. The title is beyond misleading; it's completely inaccurate. The only relevance it has is that the word Chicken just happens to be in it. This doc is just a bunch of stories of chicken/human interactions. Some of which are mildly interesting. If you're looking for an exploration into the natural history of the chicken you'll have to keep waiting for one; I wouldn't bother with this. 29 April 2008

Quantum Leap: Season 1

Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell are a pair made in heaven who were only together for 5 seasons of one of televisions best shows ever, Quantum Leap. Its hard to believe that this show is almost 20 years old! For those of us who sat on the edge of our seats at the end of each episode hoping that Sam would leap home but secretly hoping that he wouldnt so that the show might go on forever, you owe it to yourself to revisit this memory. If you were one of those unfortunate individuals who lived under a rock from 1989 to 1994 and missed out on this wonderful series, you should give it a shot. 29 April 2008

Futurama the Movie: Bender's Big Score

I am a HUGE Futurama fan. I've seen every episode dozens of times. That being said, this movie was a big disappointment. I think this could have (and probably should have) been three hilarious 30 minute episodes instead of one mediocre 90 minute movie. Oh, the things that made Futurama great were there, sure...but it just didn't cut it. The main plot was interesting enough and the voice acting was, naturally, great. There are loads of inside jokes and jabs at FOX for canceling the series. The main storyline was fairly solid and the side-plots, especially the Fry/Leela romance, brought back some nice memories of the series. They explain several things us die-hards have seen in the episodes, but it wasn't enough to make this movie awesome. The jokes aren't laugh-out-loud funny like the episodes and the 'villains' didn't quite live up to the Futurama standards. In short, if you're already a fan of Futurama, this is worth a watch; if you've never seen the series (what rock have you been living under???) rent the seasons instead.

Vlad the Impaler: The True Story of Dracula

The documentary is contradictory to much of the information widely accepted as fact about Vlad the Impaler. This is neither interesting nor well-done. The narrator mispronounces and over-enunciates words (he pronounces 'known' more like 'knowin') which is mildly humorous for about the first 10 or 20 minutes then becomes annoying. I do not recommend this documentary; there are much better docs out there.

The Reaping

Entertaining? Yeah. Scary? Nope. That being said, The Reaping is a decent movie. Swank's performance as the heroine was excellent. The special effects were overall pretty good. The plot, which has been done before, was solid; it kept my interest throughout. There is a creepiness to the movie and I jumped a few times but it's not a scary movie. If you go into this knowing that fact, you'll find a pretty good show. My only real complaint here is that the pace is a little jumpy; there are times that the suspense seems to backpedal a bit. Not a spectacular addition to the genre, but certainly worth a rent. I recommend this to horror fans looking for something more creepy than scary.

The Machinist

This is a rather slow-paced thriller, but if you stick it out you'll find that it was worth it. There were a couple of moments--VERY brief moments--that I considered stopping the movie in the first 20 minutes or so; boy am I glad I kept watching. Bales is absolutely phenomenal as Trevor Reznik; as others have stated, his transformation for this role is unbelievable! The Machinist is overall, a well-paced psychological thriller. This movie won't have you biting your nails or hanging off the edge of your seat, but it'll certainly have you wondering what's coming. The ending didn't hit me until only moments before it hit Reznik himself.

Hatchet

Let me begin by saying that I am a fan of the horror genre in all of its glorious forms. This movie falls into not one of those 'glorious forms' but into the dreadful category of 'steaming pile of cow-dung.' I read the reviews of this movie and saw many people saying that it was similar to Friday the 13th, making my expectations pretty high. And disappointment is all I feel now... I love gore just as much as the next horror-fan, but the excessive gore of Hatchet cannot make up for the complete lack of originality. It is definitely an 80's slasher film rip-off...and a bad one at that. I'm still not sure if I was supposed to laugh or be scared. There were a few (I could count them on one hand...) humorous-- not laugh-out-loud funny-- moments and NO scary moments in this movie. The acting was fairly decent considering what the actors had to work with. I did enjoy the Robert Englund cameo and Kane Hodder, as expected, performed wonderfully. 84 minutes of my life that I so desperately want back...Don't waste your time.

The Simpsons Movie

Any true fan of The Simpsons series should enjoy this movie. It felt just like watching an episode of The Simpsons. Days later, I'm still singing "Spider Pig" constantly. That pig was hilarious! My only problem with the pig is that it disappeared in the middle of the movie with no further mention. Schwarzenegger as The President of The United States was pretty funny. There were a couple of slow spots, but overall the movie does a good job of keeping your interest throughout. This was a good transition to the big screen. I recommend to any fan of the series.

GoodFellas: Special Edition: Bonus Material

The "Making Of" was particularly interesting. All four features were well worth watching. I particularly enjoyed Henry Hill talking about the film's accuracy. It is definitely worth renting if you enjoyed the movie. As the other reviewers stated, it is quite short and should have been included on the first disc...but what can you do?

Modify

85 minutes of pure entertainment! This film covers it all: Tattooing, piercing, tongue slicing, sex-changes, turning yourself into a cat and a lizard and even stranger forms of body modification. The interview with Stalking Cat (the man striving to turn himself into a cat) was a nice addition to the film. This is by far the best body modification documentary I've come across.

Happy Tree Friends: Season 1: Vol. 1

Gratuitous violence...killing cute, fluffy woodland creatures...what more could you ask for, right? Well, sort of...I like Happy Tree Friends, but it is apparently better in moderation. My suggestion would be to split the DVDs up in your queue.

Live Free or Die Hard

The fact that they even attempted another sequel in the Die Hard series had me worried...I mean, come on, it's been 12 years since Die Hard With A Vengeance. I expected to see an awesomely choreographed pile of cow dung; I was pleasantly surprised by this installment. No pile of cow dung here. The action was fantastic (a little unbelievable, or as others have mentioned, over-the-top at times)! Bruce Willis stepped back into the roll of John McClane flawlessly. This is certainly not my favorite DH movie, but if you're a fan of any of the movies in the series, you should throw this into your queue.

Masters of Horror: Dario Argento: Jenifer

This movie was...strange. It's a decent movie; it's not the greatest movie of all time by any stretch of the imagination, but I've seen much worse. The character development of Jenifer was...not good. I'm still not sure I understand why she kills...or maybe I missed something important, I'm not sure. It wasn't a half-bad way to spend a mere 58 minutes of my life.

The God Who Wasn't There

This documentary is difficult to review...as a documentary, it was terrible. It was highly opinionated. It glossed over a lot of things, not really going in-depth enough to make for a good documentary. There are certainly better documentaries out there about religion and Jesus Christ. Even taking that into account, I still very much enjoyed the film. It ended rather abruptly, but I can overlook that. Many Christians will be turned off by the directors obvious dislike of Christianity. It was worth 62 minutes of my life...

History's Mysteries: The Strange Case of Lizzie Borden

This short documentary has A LOT of information packed into 50 short minutes. It really could have been expanded to twice that length. The information is basically the same information that everything on the topic of Lizzie Borden contains. This is a well-organized documentary, very interesting.

The Mothman Prophecies

Thriller??? I think not! I barely made it made it through the first 30 minutes of this movie before I began drifting in and out of sleep. If a good thriller is what you're looking for, keep on looking...this one's a dud.

Zzyzx

This movie was a bit slow at times, but if you stick around for all of the twists, it's a decent movie. The acting is surprisingly decent. The plot is weakened by too little development of both the main story and the useless sub-plot (the search for the evil cult). The Martians and Klingons of the synopsis are never even mentioned...they were looking for a cult, not aliens, but whatever. The camera work will bother some; it's pretty shaky, but if you watch the movie long enough you won't even notice it anymore. Be sure to check out the opening credits. I've certainly seen better movies, but I've seen a lot worse too. I wouldn't say that I recommend this movie, but if you're looking for a decent Indie thriller you might want to give this one a shot.

License to Wed

This movie has some funny moments, but they just aren't enough to make this a good movie. This movie fell somewhere between "Didn't Like It" and "Liked It" ; I'd say 2.5 stars. What has happened to Robin Williams??? He used to be so funny! John Krasinski is excellent. Mandy Moore is okay, I suppose. Krasinski and Moore do have good on-screen chemistry which helps the movie a little bit. Unfortunately, the humor in the movie is forced. This movie should have been great. I mean, come on, Robin Williams playing a priest...how did this movie turn out so bad??? Don't waste the hour and a half on this one.

I Know Who Killed Me

I had pretty low expectations going into this movie. I mean, come on...Lindsay Lohan in a horror movie?!? How good could that be? 'Good' is certainly the last word that comes to mind for this film. Much of the movie I was left thinking "huh?" and the rest of the time I was wondering what possessed me to watch this movie. The plot is all over the map. Plot holes abound. The killer (who only kills one person, by the way) is never developed. We aren't really shown WHY he wants Aubrey dead. The acting was bearable at best. As mentioned, Lohan in a horror movie...a bad casting decision. The dialog was laughable at times (rather unintentionally). The amount of gore is fairly decent, but it seemed irrelevant...the movie still sucked. I recommend this only to those looking to waste an hour and a half of their lives. If you're looking for a good movie, keep on looking...this one's a dud!

Return to House on Haunted Hill

Let me start by saying that the ONLY reason this movie got 3 stars is the extremely imaginative deaths. Now, on to other things... The acting is absolutely terrible (even for a horror movie)!! I didn't particularly care what happened to the characters and after seeing a couple deaths, actually hoped someone else would die to see what kind of death would come next. The plot was weak, to say the least. The movie was far from scary, but how many movies are actually scary anymore? There is little suspense/excitement to speak of and overall, the movie was not very gory. As mentioned, the death scenes are very imaginative...it's nice to see a movie that doesn't have the killer (the house and its many ghosts in this particular case) predictably slashing throats and stabbing victims. I recommend only to those horror faithfuls that can overlook weak plots and terrible acting to see some rather inventive ways to kill victims.

The Postman

This movie was not as bad as I'd expected it to be. After hearing the critic's reviews of this film when it first came out, I passed. Don't trust the critics or the Razzie Awards on this one; it's worth a watch.

Army of Darkness

In 1993, I loved this movie. Now, 14 years later, it's not as good as I remember it being but I still really like this movie. It's beyond cheesy at times...some of the dialog is just ridiculous. Don't expect state-of-the-art special effects, because you'll be sadly disappointed... Bruce Campbell is, of course, awesome! If you lived under some large rock and have never had the pleasure of seeing Army of Darkness, rent this; it's worth the hour and twenty minutes of your life just to say you've seen it. You might also want to check out Evil Dead 2 (the previous sequel).

Dracula

Bela Lugosi is the ONLY Dracula! No actor has portrayed The Count as well as Lugosi did. This is a must see for Dracula/vampire fanatics; see how the genre started.

Auschwitz: Inside the Nazi State

While the main focus is Auschwitz, the documentary also follows WWII and gives some details of the other concentration camps. There are some excellent interviews in this documentary with German SS soldiers, Soviet POW's and other survivors. The interviews with the SS soldiers were particularly interesting in that they discuss the fact that believed (and still do) that the atrocities that occurred in the camp were legal and even the right thing to do. Very informative! By far one of the best documentaries I've seen on Auschwitz! Highly recommended!

Body Art

This documentary was interesting...slightly boring at times, but interesting. It briefly touches on the western culture of tattooing/piercing, tribal piercing and scarring, the Geisha and several other areas. If you're interested in the body art of other cultures, you should watch this. If not, I recommend passing.

The Princess Bride

This is one of those rare movies that you can watch over and over and over and still want to watch it again. I fell in love with this movie 20 years ago and to this day I still pop it in the DVD player and enjoy every single moment. As many have already said, it is highly quotable; you've probably heard some of them and not even realized what it was. It's good, clean fun that parents can enjoy with their kids. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who has ever been a kid (yeah, that means you).

Transformers

This movie was good...it could have been better, but I enjoyed this one. The main problem was the fact that there was little character development (we hardly know anything about the Decepticons themselves) and the acting was merely mediocre. The special effects were top-notch! The action was fast-paced enough to keep my interest throughout. It was worth the 7 dollars to see it in the theater.

Ocean's Thirteen

O13 is far superior to O12 (which was a steaming pile of cow dung) but didn't pack the same punch of O11. I had really low expectations going into this movie after suffering through O12. Suspending disbelief was a little difficult at times, but this was an enjoyable movie. The franchise redeemed itself with O13...hopefully they will know when to stop and not go for O14. Suspension of disbelief is getting more and more difficult with this franchise. All-in-all, worth a watch, but don't expect O11.

Shrek the Third

Mildly entertaining, but nowhere near the first two. Of course, the CGI is nothing less than fantastic. It has some pretty funny moments that are unfortunately mixed in with some sappy stuff. I would have liked to see more of the babies and less of the Arthur storyline. Speaking of plot, I found myself wondering what happened to the rest of the story...it seems unfinished.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Gore for the sake of gore...don't get me wrong, I like a good gore-fest but this movie had very little to offer other than the gory scenes. The scarce back story offered by this prequel is not enough to make it a good film. Yeah, it's cool to see how Leatherface became Leatherface and how 'the Sheriff' became the Sheriff, but beyond that there's really nothing new--nothing we haven't seen in the other TCM movies. If you're just looking for a TCM fix, rent the original or even the remake; you'll be much more satisfied.

Con Air

A fast-paced, action-packed movie with a great story. Some of the lines were, well...corny, but they didn't detract from the movie. Nicolas Cage is fantastic! I highly reccomend!

Ocean's Eleven

This movie is great! The ensemble cast is fantastic! George Clooney and Brad Pitt are a perfect pair...add a pinch Soderbergh to that and apparently you get an awesome movie. The heist itself is far-fetched, but if you can suspend your disbelief for about 2 hours you'll come away from this movie satisfied. A must-rent!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This is a good horror movie. The cast, I think, should have been made up of unknowns like the original, but the acting was decent nonetheless. The cast being recognizable faces made it difficult to feel like this was really happening rather than just another Hollywood fantasy. It has just enough gore to get the point across and more than enough creepiness to get the job done. I rarely get scared by movies, but this one made me jump a few times (even the cat jumped at one point). It stayed fairly true to the original, updating and giving the plot new life but leaving out some of the twisted humor (inbred southern dialogue/humor)of the original. It is unfortunate that this movie is a re-make of one of the scariest horror movies ever made...I would have easily given this movie 5/5 if it weren't for the constant comparison to the original. The original was far superior--which is no surprise. This one is definitely worth watching, just try to forget that it's a Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-make.

Sublime: Stories, Tales, Lies, Exaggeration

Terrible documentary! Incredibly boring interviews with footage of the band playing followed by more boring interviews. There were a couple of interesting parts in the first half (I don't know about the second half; I couldn't sit through the entire 2 hours) but not enough to hold my interest. Sublime fans, look elsewhere...this one's not worth your time.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

I don't know what I expected going into this movie, but I was disappointed with the result. This movie had a few (only a few) funny moments, but none that made me laugh out loud. The Sandler/James duo was a surprisingly good combination. They have good on-screen chemistry, but it's just not enough to make this movie funny. This one was just not as good as it could have been. Watching it, I thought it was a bit strong at times for a PG-13 rating.

The Butterfly Effect: Director's Cut

I was disappointed with this movie. The chaos theory plot line could have made for an excellent movie, but the time-shifting was somewhat disorganized. The character development, which made the beginning just a bit slow, was refreshingly in-depth...it was really easy to identify with the characters. The acting was surprisingly decent, both Kutcher and Smart handled the different versions of their characters quite well. Overall, it wasn't a bad movie, it just could have been better. If you're a thriller movie fan, give it a shot...you might just like it.

Jeepers Creepers

This movie could have been good--no, it could have been great. There was so much suspense build-up in the first half of the movie but then we get some human/bat thing that's not the least bit scary...he's kinda cool-looking, but far from scary and completely ruined the suspense. The ending, though welcome, was a disappointment. They set themselves up quite nicely for the sequel. There are some less-than-appealing sights but not really any gore to speak of in this movie. The acting was mediocre, but typical of the genre. This movie is another unfortunate addition to the list of movies that have so much potential but just don't use it.

Spider-Man 3

Let me say first that the special effects in this movie are gorgeous. And a cameo appearance by Bruce Campbell was a nice surprise. Those are the only two things I enjoyed about this movie. There are three villains (four if you count Black Spidey as a villain) running about with as little screen-time as they could possibly get. Venom, who is never actually mentioned by name, only has about 5 to 10 minutes of screen-time and doesn't show up until an hour and 45 minutes into the movie! Venom should be the focus of this film. They have one of the best villains in the Spiderman universe in this movie and yet they put they're focus on Peter Parker's struggle to keep his girlfriend! The main plot was non-existent and the sub-plots (all 5 or 6 of them) were all over the place and very poorly thrown together. This is a clear example of quantity over quality. The character development for the villains...well, there wasn't any to speak of. In fact, we were barely introduced to any of them. The best part of this huge pile of steaming cow dung is when the end-credits finally begin to roll after what feels like 3+ hours of soup opera. I wouldn't even recommend this to a die-hard superhero movie fan...that's a shame. Trust me when I tell you that the previews were extremely deceiving and look elsewhere for your next movie.

Saw IV

I left the theater after seeing Saw IV feeling a bit let down. The level of gore in the first 10 minutes surpasses the other three movies by a long shot---certainly not for the weak-stomached! How they managed an R rating, I'll never know...If I were rating this one based solely on gore, it would definitely be 5/5, unfortunately there is another huge factor...The plot. It was somewhat weak; I think that too much was left to flashbacks, which got a bit confusing. Though I did enjoy seeing the characters from the previous movies, it just didn't help make this movie great. If you've seen and loved the other three, you should see this one. If you're new to the franchise, you'd better watch the other ones closely before you try this one; it won't stand on its own. I hate to say this but this movie has forced me to believe that the Saw franchise peaked with the last installment (Saw III) and is on that slippery slope into crappy sequels that so many horror franchises before now have found themselves on.

Wild Hogs

This one had it's moments. From a cast as talented as this one, however, I expected more. It was worth the rental...not much more.

World Trade Center

This movie is good, if you think of it in terms of just a movie about a building collapsing. The movie focuses completely on the events surrounding the entrapment and rescue of a handful of people. Not that their story isn't heart-wrenching, but this movie was NOT about 9/11, it was about a small group of men caught in the rubble of the WTC. There was too much about 9/11 that wasn't touched. That was incredibly disappointing. I was expecting more about the attack, not just a search and rescue. World Trade Center will have you close to tears if not in tears at moments, but looking at your watch at other moments wondering how long the movie is. I'm glad that I finally saw it, but I would have been upset if I'd payed any more than the rental price to see it.

Superman Returns

I very reluctantly watched this movie. I was very adamant about not seeing it, but finally caved in just to see if was any good. I just didn't think that ANYONE could live up to Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent/Superman and didn't want to see anyone ruin the picture of Superman in my mind. Christopher Reeve left some very large red boots to fill. I don't think that Brandon Routh even came close to filling them. Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane? Sorry, I'm not feelin' it. On the other hand, Kevin Spacey was brilliant as Lex Luthor. Beyond Spacey, I think this movie's casting choices were terrible. Bosworth simply didn't live up to the legend that is Margot Kidder's Lois Lane; she's a fine actress, but not right for this role. That being said, you're probably wondering why I rated this movie 4 out of 5. Well, somewhat bad casting choices aside, the movie was, I begrudgingly admit, good. The story, though a little slow in the beginning, was solid thereafter. Though I thought Spacey did a nice job a Lex Luthor, I would have liked to see a different Superman villian...maybe in the next Superman movie... If you are a die-hard "Christopher Reeve is the only Superman" person, this movie may not be for you. You might want to just pull out your VHS copy of the original movies and revisit the only big-screen Superman. If you're too young to remember (or for whatever bizarre reason have never seen) Christopher Reeve as Superman, you missed out on something, but this movie should tide you over until the next superhero movie comes out.

The Magnificent Seven: Season 1

I loved this show when it aired in '98 and upon watching Season 1 again, I remember why. The show did a great job of combining western movie action with the occasional comedic moment. The only episode that I didn't particularly enjoy was the pilot, I think because it has a lot of character introductions to accomplish in such a short amount of time...but make it through that one and you'll be glad you did! I'm not usually a fan of westerns, but this series caught my interest for some reason. Perhaps becuase Michael Biehn as Chris Larabee is superb! Eric Close, Dale Midkiff and Ron Perlman are a few of my favorites from other things; all were excellent. By the end of Season 1, the chemistry between the seven worked. If you've never seen this one, give it a try...you may just be pleasantly surprised by what you get.

War of the Worlds Scandal

I somewhat enjoyed this documentary. I've been intrigued by Orson Welles since before I can remember, so nothing in this documentary was new to me. I rather liked the fact that they played chunks of the radio show between the commentary. I recommend this only if you aren't already familiar with the scandal...otherwise, it's just the same stuff again.

Hostel

This movie is twisted! Normally, for me anyways, that makes for a damn good movie...in this case, no amount of gore or sick stuff could have made this movie likable. This movie just doesn't hold up to it's recent competitors in the horror genre. The acting was decent enough and the plot should have been enough to make for a decent movie...I recommend this only to true horror fans who aren't turned off by the twisted.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

This movie was disappointing. After the first installment, I expected this to be an excellent movie. There was too much hype and nothing in this movie to back it up. This is an unfortunate example of the theory that 'the sequel is never as good as the original.' Although not always true, it's very much the case here. The plot...well, it was okay at best. Much of the movie could have been left on the cutting room floor and we'd never have missed it. On the other hand, the special effects were absolutely gorgeous! The acting was top-notch, nothing less than expected.

The Sixth Sense

M. Night Shyamalan has done an absolutely superb job on this one! The acting is fantastic! This is one of those movies that, the first time you watch it, you missed so much that you need to start over from the beginning and try it again. If you haven't seen this movie, you might be the only sole person left in America who has yet to see it; my suggestion to you is to rent it!

Stranger than Fiction

Being a novelist, I very much wanted to like this movie. The plot has such potential...this movie was a terrible disappointment! I caught myself constantly checking to see how much of the movie was left. I watched it all the way through and am now wondering why I even bothered. I do feel that credit must be given to Will Ferrell, who did wonderfully in a movie that was obviously a stretch from anything he has done previously. Will Ferrell may well have a career outside of comedy...if he avoids movies like this one.

The Spanish Prisoner

David Mamet is absolutely brilliant! This film is my favorite Mamet film. If you can sit through the first half, which is slightly odd and quite frankly a little boring, you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. Twists and turns abound! I would recommend this to any Mamet fan and any mystery lover!

Vacancy

This movie was absolutely dreadful. The only reason I didn't hate it is because I did get a few laughs at the wretchedness of it all. Vacancy is just another crappy addition to the horror genre that has been done a hundred times already. Car breaks down in/near a deserted town, couple goes to nearest creepy house/motel/etc and someone tries to kill them...this could have been good...the potential is certainly there, but there was no originality in this feeble attempt. The killers were so inept that it was difficult to believe that they could have ever been successful at it and the 'heroes' were so incredibly stupid that it was difficult to believe they weren't killed within minutes... Genres: Horror, Psychological Thrillers, Slashers and Serial Killers??? Slashers and serial killers...okay, but horror and psych. thriller...absolutely not! If you're looking for a good psych. thriller (or something that even remotely fits into the category) look elsewhere! If you like to watch crappy B-Horror movies...you still might want to look elsewhere...

Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film

This documentary offered a nice view into the history of the "slasher film" genre. It chronicled the golden age of the slasher quite nicely, touching on films as far back as Psycho and Peeping Tom all the way to the more recent Hostel. I have only two issues with this documentary...first, the choices made on interviewees could have been better (a little to much Rob Zombie for my taste...). And second, there was absolutely no coverage of the original Black Christmas. These things aside, I very much enjoyed delving into the history of this film genre. It brought back memories of being a child watching every slasher movie I could get my hands on. I highly recommend this one to any slasher/horror aficionado. As for the occasional slasher/horror viewer, this is something you should check out...maybe you'll gain a new fondness for this genre.

Fantastic Four

I went in to this one thinking I would be seeing a great new beginning to a superhero saga that hasn't been done yet...I was very disappointed with this movie. I liked this movie only because it was exciting for me to see the comic book superheroes that I loved in my childhood on the big screen. The acting was terrible, to say the least. There was absolutely no on-screen chemistry between the team (which was very noticeable when we're being shown the Mr. Fantastic/The Invisible Woman romance). Jessica Alba in particular was dreadful; she doesn't have what it takes to pull of this role. The only good thing I can bring myself to say regarding the acting (or lack thereof) is in Michael Chiklis' case. He was absolutely superb as the Thing! I had my doubts about this particular casting choice but they couldn't have chosen a better actor to fill what must be some pretty big shoes. As for the plot...it was decent at best. It could've been better. Character development...they hit the important back-story and didn't develop the characters much further than that. The special effects were visually great. The movie was WAY too dependent on them, but they certainly looked good. Is this one worth it? If you're a fan of the Fantastic Four or comic book movies, you should give this one a shot. If you're looking for a good character-driven action movie, look elsewhere.

Batman Begins

This installment in the story of Batman was certainly not my least favorite. I just couldn't get into this "new Batman" story. The acting is absolutely fantastic. Christian Bale plays an excellent Batman (maybe even better than Micheal Keaton himself...). After George Clooney, they needed someone like Bale to revive the role. The plot is terrific. There's just too much of it; the story was too big for one movie and yet not enough for two...I think, because of the vastness of the plot, character develop was overlooked. Burton's Batman movies are nowhere in this movie. The flamboyant villains are definitely a thing of the past and in their place we find very dark, very under-developed villains. I very much missed the style of those earlier Batman movies... Is this one worth it? If you're looking for Tim Burton's Batman, pop that in and watch that instead because you'll be very disappointed with Batman Begins. If you're willing/trying to forget the previous installments, definitely watch this one. I'm glad I sat through it; I didn't particularly enjoy the experience, but I'm glad I saw it nonetheless.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

I'm prone to giving superhero movies (and the sequels) a better chance than others and I'm glad I did with this one. Rise of The Silver Surfer was definitely better than the first FF movie. This movie has a great story that was hurt slightly by a lack of on-screen chemistry, but overall, certainly worth the time. I really enjoyed this one. Special effects were great. The Surfer looked absolutely fantastic...

The Number 23

This movie was very...disappointing to say the least. Though it is nice to see Jim Carey continuing to break from comedies...this movie just didn't work. The plot has the potential to make an excellent movie, but this attempt was wretched. I spent much of the movie wondering if I should even finish watching it. I suppose there was a tiny piece of me that wondered how terrible the ending would be. It certainly wasn't worth sitting through the entire movie...

The Darwin Awards

The overall plot of the movie is good, though I think it could have been presented better. This one is definitely worth watching! And The Mythbusters (Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman) have cameos!! Anyone who loves The Darwin Awards website will want to check this one out.