Netflix Customer Reviews

Sword For Truth

Man, I have seriously got to start reading reviews before I hit the play button! If I had read some reviews before watching this I could have spent my time in a more constructive manner. Scooping the cat box, for example. This isn't the worst anime I've ever seen, but it's pretty bad. The main character is not at all likeable, and yet you get the definite impression that he gets more a$$ than a toilet seat. The sex scenes are less than spectacular and will probably only turn your crank if you're about 14 years old. If you want animated porn, there are plenty of hentai titles out there that actually deliver the goods. Google "hentai anime" and pick one at random. It'll probably be better than this. The acting is sub-par and some of the voices are actually quite irritating. And, you don't get enough backstory to feel truly connected to any of the characters, including the lead. To make matters worse, the quality of the animation is not what you would expect from a vid released in 2000. There are way too many still shots, for example. The premise of this anime is pretty simple: if you face this dude in battle you're gonna get your a$$ handed to ya in a high hat. He pretty much only does 3 things...fight, get some nookie, and collect his pay. If you're looking for something more complex than that you won't find it here. The ending leaves you hanging, but I won't knock it too hard. Mostly because you walk away with the feeling that they were leaving the ending open so they could make another movie or crank out a series. Happens all the time with anime. I gave it two stars for the sheer volume of fight scenes, some of which were actually entertaining.

Black Sabbath

The first time I saw this I was a kid and I had to sneak into the basement to watch it while my parents were asleep. It was totally worth it! Creeped me out like nobody's business! I hadn't thought about the movie in ages, but when I saw it was available for instant viewing I decided to take a stroll down memory lane. I'm glad I did. The movie really holds up! A previous reviewer mentioned that she would have preferred the English version; if you watch this movie via instant viewing the English version is what you'll get. The order of the three segments is Drop of Water, The Telephone, and The Wurdalak. All three are suspenseful and creepy. If you are a parent worried about gore and violence, don't be. It's almost nonexistent. There's also no nudity. The closest it gets is a woman in a towel or a slip. You can see more at the beach. It's unrated, but I would give it a PG rating due to The Telephone. Not to spoil things, but for most of that segment a young woman receives phone calls from a pervert who is watching her. Nothing too filthy, mind you, but the dirty bugger does say things about wanting her body to be naked so he can embrace her, etc. For today's standards it's actually pretty tame. My 12 yr old watched it, rolled her eyes, said "what a perv!" and moved on without so much as a care in the world. Some parents may find it inappropriate for the younger kids, however. Bottom line is it's a great movie to watch in the dark on a cold, rainy night...with or without the kiddies.

Jinki: Extend

This is one of those series that is entertaining but ultimately forgettable. It has a confusing storyline full of flashbacks, so pay close attention or you will be lost for most of the series. And don't expect to have all of your questions answered. There are also a lot of useless scenes for a series which has so few episodes. For example, there is the infamous hinted at rape scene. I suppose this is designed to get the viewer riled up and make him/her really root for the good guys. Unfortunately it has almost no impact as the victim is traumatized for all of about 2 minutes and it's never truly discussed. In an attempt to up the titillation factor they also threw in a completely useless slap n' tickle scene between two female main characters. Basically they get under the covers, poke each other and say how big each of them have gotten in strategic areas while they giggle like 3 year olds. It's sophomoric at best. The only nudity is the occasional bare booty shot. Big deal. You can see more exciting stuff on basic cable and the time would have been better spent on character development. That said, the series still manages to be entertaining. This is mostly due to the fight scenes. Not the best I've ever seen, but good enough to keep you interested. They're especially enjoyable if you like watching giant robots try to kick the snot out of each other. It's not rated, but I'd give it a PG rating for the scenes listed above. Charming in its own way, it's worth recommending if you have some time to kill and want to watch something that isn't too deep.

Haunted Honeymoon

I saw this movie when it first came out and absolutely adored it. Now I watch it with my daughter, who is in jr. high and also loves it. This is a real blessing as she's at that age where we have a hard time finding movies she likes that don't put me into a sugar-induced coma. The dialogue is witty and the story is interesting. You actually want to figure out the mystery. The performances are solid and, thankfully, not over the top. This is surprising since DeLuise is in drag as Wilder's aunt for a large portion of the film. Definitely a spoof that no Wilder fan would want to miss.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes

I first saw this as a kid and fell in love with it. After all these years I'm still a fan. The sets are beautiful, the story is interesting, and Price & co deliver solid performances. And following the plagues of Egypt adds a nice twist to the way the various characters are offed by Phibes. Rated PG-13, it's a nice starter flick if your kids want to start watching horror but you're concerned about violence and gore. When you add in the music from the film, what's not to love?

Vampire Wars

Ouch. This is the animated equivalent of a big, festering boil on your butt. It's a really painful experience, and once it's over all you want to do is forget that it ever existed. Ok, so the fact that it came out in '95 explains the lame animation, but there really is no excuse for the voice over. I have honestly witnessed better acting at my daughter's gradeschool plays. The characters are not at all likeable and the ending leaves you hanging. The bottom line: you'd be better off spending your time trimming your aged granny's yellow toenails than watching this. Unless, of course, you're a complete masochist. In that case, this will really trip your trigger.

The Game Plan

My 11 yr old daughter was seriously geeked when she saw the ads for this movie. Me? Not so much. I tired of Disney flicks about 3 decades ago. But, I have to admit this movie was really good! A kid-friendly movie that doesn't put parents into a sugar-induced coma? Right on, Disney! It's unexpectedly touching and funny. The acting is solid and the story progresses at a steady pace. Throw in the hefty side of beefcake, and it's all good.

Dexter: Season 1

Quite possibly my single favorite series of all time! What's not to like about a slick who-dunit with gore and giggles thrown in for good measure? Well, there is one thing...Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter's sister Deb). By the 3rd episode I really hoped she would meet an untimely (& really bloody) demise. Luckily she grates less on your nerves as the season progresses. The rest of the show is all good, though. The pace is steady, the storyline is interesting, and the death scenes are always riveting. Good one, Showtime!

The Queen

I'm a fan of who-dunits, anime and gore (the bloodier the better). To make matters worse, I have never been even remotely interested in the royal family. I only watched this movie because my 65 year old mother wanted to see it. I must admit that I'm glad I gave it a chance. There are, however, some negative aspects to this vid. The pace is horribly slow and some of the acting is painful to watch. James Cromwell's portrayal of Prince Phillip is especially brutal. The good stuff? Helen Mirren (the queen) and Michael Sheen (Tony Blair). They manage to keep your eyes glued to the screen even when you want to bail.

Support Your Local Sheriff

As a rule I wouldn't be caught dead watching a western. Every rule has it's exception, though, and this is it. I've seen it countless times and never tire of it. I first saw it as a kid and now I watch it with my daughter. Good for some serious belly-achin', side-splittin', eyes-waterin' laughter while devouring a massive bowl of popcorn with the kiddies.

The Shining

If you've ever read and truly loved a King novel, the screen adaptations just don't do justice to the written word. The title would have been more fitting if it was The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. The good? Nicholson's portrayal of Jack Torrance's spiral into madness. The bad? the pace is painfully slow and it just doesn't creep me out like King's novels. Honestly, it didn't give me a single goosebump. The ugly? Shelley Duvall's portrayal of Wendy Torrance. It was seriously weak. At best. Bottom line: 3 stars for Kubrick & Nicholson for tackling a near-impossible task and trying like hell to turn this movie into something worthwhile.

X-Men

I am a huge fan of the comic books and was mortified when I heard they were making a movie based on them! The thought of someone who had probably never read a single issue of the comic deciding who would play my beloved X-men scared me silly. I was pleasantly surprised that the casting was, for the most part, impeccable. Hugh Jackman as wolverine? Brilliant! Patrick Stewart as professor Xavier? Inspired! Rebecca Romijn as Mystique? Good one! Anna Paquin as Rouge? WTF? Casting was on a serious roll, but I guess all good things must come to an end. Overall the pace was steady, the action was good, and the storyline was sound. This movie could have easily ended up being a campy, cheesy nightmare. Instead it was a really good flick.

Saiyuki

Rude,crude,& socially unacceptable. That's the Sanzo party for ya. So, if you're one of those puffed-up, overly pc people out there this anime is not for you. But, if you're ok with smoking priests, wanton womanizing, and insulting your closest friends in the name of fun, check this out. If you do, you'll discover that the characters have more depth than you would have imagined. They aren't just delivery boys for snappy one-liners. Each has his own painful backstory which has shaped him into the person (or demon) he is currently. The story is sound and the fight scenes are fun. And all the trash talkin? It's just pure gravy.

Nightbreed

I loved this movie back in the day, but watching it now is like looking at my high school yearbook. Whenever it's on I just keep wondering "WTF was I thinking?" The acting sucks and the action is lame. I gave it 3 stars out of sheer nostalgia.

The Hardy Boys Nancy Drew Mysteries: Season 1

I watched these when they first aired and loved them, so when I saw that the shows were available I thought they might be something my daughter and I could enjoy together. When my daughter saw the first title, she said "OMG! I love mysteries!". What followed was a marathon of watching the instant episodes, a ton of popcorn, and lots of laughter over the clothes, soundtrack, etc. Sometimes the mysteries are a little too easy to solve (she solved the Disappearing Floor in about 10 min), but they're still enjoyable. Also, there's no denying that they're campy and more than a little cheesy. But, hey, sometimes cheesy isn't so bad! Cheese factor aside, these vids are kid-friendly, so you don't have to worry if your children want to watch the episodes without you (always a plus).