Netflix Customer Reviews

Ring Around the World

This is an early film from the Gastaldi/Martino brothers creative team and a hidden minor gem for Eurocult enthusiasts. Genre veteran Richard Harrison plays a horn rimmed insurance investigator looking into a strange series of life insurance murders. Also featured among the talent is dark haired Euro starlet beauty Dominique Boschero and a seriously grooving soundtrack from Piero Umiliani. Sure, the AV presentation is typically Retromedia bad (the worst offender being the cramped looking full screen frame) but the rarity/obscurity of the title makes it a �this or nothing� situation for this soft but serviceable print. Great location footage, car chases, explosions, romance, a machine gun finale�Gastaldi packs it all into his entertaining and well crafted screenplay. A minor quibble is that the English dub feels rather stiff in some of the dialogue but this doesn�t distract from this fine example of the Eurospy genre.

Ironmaster

Consider this one if the spectacle of a gang of cavemen led by George Eastman wearing a lion's head battling a bunch of guys in obvious ape suits seems appealing. No nudity or overt gore but at least the music is by the De Angelis Bros!

Pulp

Pulp is a very enjoyable crime yarn from the early 70s starring the inimitable Michael Caine as a womanizing playboy novelist of such tawdry pulp fiction as �Trembling Knees� and �My Gun Is Long�. In his sardonic and self deprecating style, Caine�s novelist sees himself as an �imperial lackey� who is never shy of indulgences, including several 60s babes complete in miniskirts and gogo boots. The film has a light comedic tone and features a cast of eccentric characters notably played by an able cast that includes raspsy voiced Lionel Sanders and Al Lettieri of the original The Getaway. The film�s very methodical pace may frustrate impatient modern viewers but I personally loved it as it allowed me to climb into and immerse myself in the gorgeous 70s Malta location footage. This is a minor gem but I strongly recommend it to fans of 70s crime movies with a flavor of both noir and espionage.

Black Devil Doll

This briskly paced film features a misogynist racist black ventriloquist doll that f**ks, sucks and murders a series of big b(.)(.)bed California style p0rn0 slu ts (there is even an end credit for a breast augmentation doctor!). And not necessarily in that order. To enjoy this movie, you must reach down deep to find and embrace your own inner misogynist racist black ventriloquist doll. If you don't think you have one, you are deluding yourself. Yes, you ladies have your own doll too, it's just a little deeper down in your subconscious. If you positively refuse to acknowledge your inner darkness, you can at least watch in awe at the depths that the modern male psyche can sink to. Nothing about this movie suggests that uptight moral and upstanding citizens should be renting it, but I have all the confidence in the world that your zest for self-righteous indignation will overcome the obviousness that this movie was not made for you. I look forward to reading your hilariously overwrought 1 star reviews. But for freaks like me, BLACK DEVIL DOLL could not have arrived too soon.

Daughters of Satan

This movie truly exemplified the excitement of the unexpected during the pioneering days of IW, which seems so long ago now. The buffer loads and you suddenly realize that it�s MAGNUM freaking P.I in a 70s Filipino sexploitation obscurity?!?! Complete with girls in bondage getting whipped?!! Pinch me �cause I must be dreaming. It�s got the ole wife looks like a woman in a portrait from centuries ago which then leads to the wife acting increasingly odd until much mayhem ensues plot with some 70s bimbo standing in for the Barbara Steele character. A great trippy score and TnA compensate for the meandering plot and some rather unconvincing FX.

Bimini Code

Bimini Code is to be treasured by true fans of genuinely bad cinema. This isn�t the self conscious and targeted cheese of today; this is directly from the original library of raw source material! You must dive directly into its waters because there is no viewing possible from the safety of the cruise ship deck, my friends. All that the other reviewers say is completely true. But this is to be celebrated! At its core, this film is a cornucopia of bad acting, an irrational exuberance rarely found outside of European B cinema. In fact this may be one of the rare times I suspect that the lack of TnA somehow directly tied into the misfired cheerfulness that pervades the film and the acting performances presented. And�it�s got Hulk Hogan!

The Gore Gore Girls: Special Edition

"Abraham Gentry" "You mean-" "Yes... THE Abraham Gentry" HG Lewis does Dario Argento and Juno's head explodes! With murder scenes that are simply transcendent; there's just no other word for them. And complemented with boisterous marching band music to seal the surreal deal. Milk, French fries and Henry Youngman! Yum.

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

Where is Joe Pesci? I want more Pesci!! Until then, his back catalog will have to suffice. This silly late 90s comedy is certainly no ALFREDO GARCIA but it is surprisingly engaging. One of the last Orion Pictures releases (and thus one of the closing chapters to the American International Pictures empire), this comedy actually feels much more in the style of 60s and 70s screwball. This is undoubtedly aided by the presence of the always welcome Dyan Cannon and Mr Leather Skin himself,George Hamilton. Morbidly tinged slapstick is what I would call it and the film features some truly odd sequences including having a bunch of disembodied heads singing a ditty or two. The great cast also features great performances from Todd Louiso , Anthony Mangano and Kristy Swanson. And David Spade is his usual annoying self. A breezy and entertaining time waster thats worth checking out.

Craving Desire

CRAVING DESIRE stars the incredibly beautiful Vittoria Belvedere and Serena Grandi, so that's already 4 good reasons to watch it right there. This 90s giallo was one of several that Sergio Martino directed when he came back to the genre during the 90s. I approached CRAVING DESIRE with full knowledge that Sergio Martino made this film without Gastaldi (script), Nicolai (music) and especially without the acting talents of George Hilton and Edwige Fenech. He did retain both the cinematographer and editor from his 70s heyday. Thus the movie is unsurprisingly a visual delight and the cinematography, sets and locations easily eclipse anything Argento has done in the 90s and beyond, imo. The first hour's mainly melodramatic vibe may test the patience of viewers seeking straight genre thrills but Martino keeps things interesting with some hilarious humor, both intentional and unintentional. His screenplay skewers and mocks the cast of disreputable characters, particularly Luigi's incredibly annoying fianc�e. The MYA disc has both Italian and English dubs and yet no subtitles so. while one is forced to choose the English track, the dubbed moans and grunts during the many softcore scenes also had me chuckling. The movie kicks into high gear in the last half and really rests on Vittoria ably playing her darkly twisted femme fatale character and handily filling the "Edwige Vacuum" in this late Martino film. More psychosexual than black gloved mayhem, the film nevertheless exceeded my expectations and I heartily recommend it to genre and TnA fans alike.

I, Monster

Despite having a different name, this Amicus horror film is a pretty faithful retelling of the Robert Louis Stevenson morality fable. While it�s decent enough, the pairing of horror icons Cushing and Lee had raised my expectations for what turns out to be a pretty average /minor outing for them. The blurry and poorly transferred Retromedia version presented here doesn�t do the cinematography of foggy, candlelit 1800s London any favors either. A much more memorable pairing in a Jekyll/Hyde story was Paul Naschy and Jack Taylor in Leon Klimovsky�s DR. JEKYLL Y EL HOMBRE LOBO. I, MONSTER does stand out for me as the only Christopher Lee movie I�ve seen where he repeatedly shoots up and runs around all giddy. His legendary Dracula character, of course, would often appear with bloodshot eyes... yet he never actually toked up on screen. But Lee's Mr Hyde...I mean, Mr. Blake, is not as shy with the smack.

La Moustache

I was drawn to this movie by a fascinating premise that promised Kafkaesque meditations on modern alienation and personal identity, or perhaps a parody of same. Secretly, I was hoping that the filmmakers were going to take my expectations and run with it in unexpected or subversive directions. And I guess that's what I got, sort of. Well, not really. Since this seemed like the sort of movie to walk into completely green without reading any reviews or plot synopsis, I am only now looking at the other reviews and am chagrined and not at all surprised that CACHE repeatedly comes up as a point of comparison. Like that wildly overrated piece of crap, LA MOUSTACHE has excellent actors, production values and a strong opening. But it also just falls apart under the weight of its heavy-handed symbolism and pathological desire to seem deeper than it is. I lost interest around the time our clean shaven protagonist decided to suddenly visit Hong Kong and aimlessly ride a ferry all day. The cynical part of me thinks movies like this are primarily made so that fans of this stuff can write their little condescending "This isn't for those of you who like neatly wrapped up conclusions. Actual life just isn't like that, my dear, so stick to safe Hollywood formula movies" as they sip on some horribly flavored and overpriced caffeine delivery vehicle. No. There's actually a distinction between truly enigmatic art that resonates with deep themes and potentially uncomfortable emotions and lazy, confused filmmaking that tries to dress itself up as same while stroking its audience's egos. Sadly, I have to lump LA MOUSTACHE squarely in the latter camp.

Beyond the Door

Having rewatched Friedkin�s original EXORCIST a few months ago, my Euro-trash pickled brain got very excited by all the exploitable elements that could be deliciously amplified by just the right twisted Italian mindset. So I approached this 70s Italian Exorcist rip off, my first, all giddy with anticipation. Instead, what I got was a tepid rip off of ROSEMARY�S BABY that eventually segues into EXORCIST territory near the end with a dash of THE OMEN. �Got as much balls as a castrated jellyfish� was a line of dialogue from the movie that neatly matched my thoughts about the time I lost watching this. It wasn�t a complete waste as the funky electronic soundtrack by Franco Micalazzi at least held my interest somewhat through the excruciatingly long scenes where people seem to just walk and walk forever. Ahhh well, the hunt continues.

The Day of the Wacko

Having more misanthropic despair than humor, I nonetheless found this foreign and subtitled flick funny for it's dark sense of humor. Especially funny were the moments when the central protagonist was observing other people (i.e. the train scene) or TV commercials ("Peenis extract. Smell the breeze!") Sadly, the tone is more self pitying towards its protagonist which hints at a lack of self awareness and projecting one's problems outwards on other, making the screenplay problematic. Our poor protagonist suffers from OCD and is traumatized by everyday annoyances. But he's not that terribly interesting and by the end, one realizes that this is part of the director's point: the quiet desperation with which some people live day to day or that we all go through at some point in our lives. Straight and to the point unlike the exaggerations that would be necessary in an American movie on the same matter but this also makes it more boring.

Funland

All the elements were here to make for an entertaining black comedy about amusement parks but things went just a bit awry in the execution. Mainly it�s just that not a lot happens and so the entertainment burden falls on the actors, most of whom seem to be sleepwalking their way through delivering the, at times, incredibly corny dialogue. There are some effective cynical jabs that come across but too much of the �black comedy� feels like a bitter screenplay writer was exorcising some personal demons. But things aren�t all bad as the movie is chock full of amusing 80s stereotypes, fashions and even some brief breakdancing. Also, I�m a fan of Bruce Mahler aka Doug Fackler of the POLICE ACADEMY movies and Rabbi Glickman of SEINFELD fame, and so it was nice to see him in a fairly substantial role here.

The Harder They Come

This film is incredibly iconic and can readily be described as the reggae/Jamaican EASY RIDER or QUADROPHENIA without any hyperbole. Jimmy Cliff just has the perfect face and mannerisms for playing the iconic role of a failed musician turned marijuana outlaw that was purportedly based on a real historical figure. While the soundtrack has won much deserved praise for helping to usher reggae into the world�s consciousness, the film itself is also quite extraordinary. THTC is really two films: the somewhat meandering first half dealing with his failed struggle to make it big as a musician then explodes into a more vivid and expressionistic movie about his descent into the criminal underworld. Crazy 70s Jamaican fashions, heavy marijuana smoking, psycho preacher men add to the rich cinematic tapestry. It�s got all the lurid trappings of American-style blaxploitation yet is nothing like SUPERFLY, SHAFT or any of them.

Escape from Angola

Sweet Moses, what the hell did I just watch?!?! I think it was about a dysfunctional Swiss Family Robinson of poachers in Africa? Maybe? The father is some rugged khaki wearing �conservationist� who loves to wax poetic about the majesty of animals yet wants to breed them in farms and solve �Africa�s hunger problem�?! The mother, improbably enough, is a snooty Vassar graduate and their scenes together are hilariously awkward and yield zero chemistry. They also have three sons, the youngest of whom gets treated like an outcast because he�s too soft to hack it in Africa, and a pet baboon who�s name seems to be �Yuppie�?! The film is chock full of moments where a character will suddenly start moralizing about this social issue or that. This weirdness reaches its delicious zenith in a scenes where a white guy and a black guy both apologize to each other for their respective races! The tedium is broken up somewhat by some actual live animal footage although some of the trapping footage may put off more sensitive viewers. Everything is topped off by the curious use of disco music for the soundtrack in this Saharan melodrama.

Fear Dot Com

[Producer A]: Dude, didn't The Ring remake make oodles of $$$? [Producer B]: Hell yeah! But it was hella lame with that weak a$$ VHS TAPE! [A]: Woord. Mofos didnt even use BLU RAY?! Weak, bro, WEAK!1! [B]: Sh!t, kidz are all on the Interwebz these days. [A]: I see what you did there. [B]: The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye, LOL. [B]: ZOMG! Long live the New Flesh.

Deadly Sweet

The first item to point out about this early Tinto Brass film is that it's nothing like the later movies he's best known for. In other words, there is nothing beyond the most brief TnA and the plot doesn't really have much of an erotic dimension to it In fact, the plot is a pretty familiar one in which a couple (Trintignant and Aulin) stumble across a dead body in a nightclub and spend the rest of the movie trying to solve the identity of the murderer whilst eluding bad guys who are chasing them relentlessly. What distinguishes DEADLY SWEET, for better or worse, is the intensely stylistic pop art exercise that Brass films it as. He uses almost every 60s art house visual clich� in the book and never lets up. For awhile, it's pretty cool because the movie really glamorizes the feel of late 60s London and is infused with frenetic visual references to old movie stars, the Beatles, fumetti, MAD+ Famous Monsters magazines, etc. The problem is that the story is a very simple and linear one and after awhile, the relentless stylistic devices utilized for even the most mundane onscreen happenings will make DePalma feel like Dogme 95, in comparison. I don't think Brass ever really cared about his murder story and by the end, neither did I. But it has visual chutzpah and is pretty fun most of the time, so 3 STARS.

Mister Jerico

An enjoyably silly and campy heist type film of the kind that were so popular during the 60s. The great cast includes Patrick Macnee in full on neckerchief mode, delightfully ditzy Connie Stevens, but my fave had to be Herbert Lom absolutely chewing up the scenery as an ominous diamond collector with short cropped silver hair , sunglasses and an evil smile. This is pretty low key and light weight stuff with the real stars of the show being the outlandish late 60s fashion and d�cor as well as the groovy lounge soundtrack. If you�re a fan of the early PINK PANTHER movies, TOPKAPI, GRAND SLAM, etc you might want to check this out.

Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One

The NF synopsis above curiously references �reality TV� despite that William Greaves� lost work from the 60s has very little in common with that area beyond some superficially similar aesthetics. It�s really a cunning and bewildering meditation on the creative process in film done in a truly original manner that I have never seen before. In it�s strongest moments, I felt like I wasn�t sure what part of what I was seeing was scripted, what was improvised and what was actually real. To his major credit, Greaves� experimental film never has a dull or navel gazing moment, which is quite extraordinary for such a heady experiment. Undoubtedly borrowing from his documentary background as well as his experience as a black man in 1960s America, Greaves also infuses his film with the power dynamics and social issues of the day. And it all seems to flow very organically and synergistically. As is typical for Criterion releases, an excellent documentary is included on the disc that covers Greaves� biography as well as the meanings and rediscovery of this odd film that had been previously buried in his filmography.

The Seven-Ups

A very decent NYC gritty crime drama that recalls The French Connection but is much more conventional in terms of plot and execution. At it�s heart, the story of a betrayed friendship in a world where the lines between good and bad have become blurred is pretty poignant and also quite bleak. The story doesn�t have too many surprises but is nevertheless engaging and vividly presented against a backdrop of cool 70s NYC location footage. As with all 70s cop movies, this film comes correct with the ugly dudes. Roy Schieder is reliably strong while Tony LoBianco looks more than a little ridiculous sporting a very obvious wig. As a bonus, famed character actor Joe Spinell pops up as a random thug. The Don Ellis soundtrack is not his best but does manage to invoke a menacing and ominous atmosphere that fits well with the mood of the film.

Weekend

It�s very understandable that people found WEEKEND to be a frustrating experience because it�s also abundantly clear that this is exactly what Godard set out to do. WEEKEND is not just a satire of the moral and materialistic values promoted by the interior fantasy world of films, but it�s also a very angry rant. And it�s a rant directed right at us. Godard goes nuts with all kinds of editing tricks and discordant sountrack music that often rises up so high in the mix that dialogue gets drowned out as if Godard is saying that those characters have nothing of value to be listening to. The movie will grate on your nerves like an actual traffic jam will. And forget points of identification because if you did identify with the petty bourgeoisie couple than chances are you wouldn�t be watching this movie in the first place. WEEKEND is raw and rude and not only frustrates our desire for some kind of narrative cohesion but thumbs it�s nose at it. So I don�t really enjoy watching WEEKEND so much as admire it and find it useful to watch every few years so as to not lose my bearings when watching more conventional films.

The Horse's Mouth

Another brilliant performance from Alec Guinness and in that sense, this movie is worth checking out. However, the unusual movie surrounding his performance just doesn�t gel quite as well as some of his other movies. While I always relish a glimpse into the aesthetic world of 50s British cinema, the story is rather lackluster and doesn�t seem to live up to it�s premise. The strongest element in the film is the fascinating character of Gulley Jimson, the tortured artist/swindler brought to incredible life by Guinness but the rest of the movie just doesn�t rise to the same level. Including on this Criterion release is a visually dazzling 5 minute short about a train ride in NYC that was paired with the Guinness movie when it first premiered in NYC.

Wild Things 2

The watchability factor of the original came from the somewhat brilliant formula of taking old thriller and mystery tropes, throwing in softcore lesbianism and threesomes and then filming it all with cinematography saturated by the lush, steamy and tropical hues of the Everglades locale. Given the durability of that recipe, it�s not all that surprising that WILD THINGS bred 2 straight to DVD sequels without the need for bringing back Richards or Campbell. The no name female leads in this first sequel look a lot more butch and waste no time in shedding their clothes at every opportunity. The plot is nonsense and the middle act just meanders too much but that brilliant Everglades locale keeps the vibe of the movie nice and sleazy. Isaiah Washington (who seemed OK with the all the rampant lesbianism) appears as a cop on the case of the easy to figure out mystery and his monologue at the end is the absurd cherry on top of the far fetched cake baked up by the screenwriters. A decent enough time waster.

Let the Right One In

Apparently the USA DVD distributor of this title thought they needed to dumb down the subtitle translations for American audiences. Lost in translation is a lot of the black humor and character complexities. No thanks, I'll wait for the real deal and not this watered down version. Google this for more information as I can't post weblinks in an NF review.

The Killing Hour

This throwaway flick has a really cool opening shot and then just descends into derivative crap from there. This one is from the director of HE KNOWS YOU ARE ALONE but is definitely a tepid thriller rather than a straight ahead 80s slasher. After some pretty lame murders start things off, the lead police detective, who also just happens to be a weird Woody Allen style stand up in his offtime, begins the hunt for the killer. Soon enough, pretty boy Rod Perry as a tabloid reporter is also on the case. Both men are dating Virna, a clairvoyant who has the talent of being able to draw the victims before they are murdered. If this premise sounds interesting to you, I�d readily recommend THE EYES OF LAURA MARS over this turd. Her attraction to pretty boy Rod Perry is understandable, but less so for the police detective (played by Normon Parker) who looks kinda like a French Canadian Bob Saget. Did I mention the Woody Allen stand up routines to which we are inexplicably subjected to multiple times? The rest of the movie is really dialogue heavy and plods along until the we learn that the whole thing had to do with a gang b@ng that went awry(?). Not a lot of it makes sense and it�s mostly dull but there are cheesy 80s tidbits that will keep dedicated trash fans awake until the predictably retarded ending. However, I cannot in good conscience recommend this to anyone else.

The Brood

Note to aspiring filmmakers: casting the wrong actor as the lead in your film can ruin the entire experience, even if your last name is Cronenberg. Enter Art Hindle; pretty face, feathered hair, furrowed brow and ridiculously spastic �acting� ability. Predictably, most of the negative reviews here focus on the low budget FX. It�s a low budget B horror flick; this is the world that the Cronenberg with the higher budgets and the Viggo you are familiar with came from! The low budget didn�t bother me at all when compared to the travesty that was Hindle�s performance. It was particularly frustrating because THE BROOD plays like a dry run for the body horror themes that would inform EAD RINGERS, VIDEODROME and THE FLY. Cronenberg�s technical talent is already evident in the fluid camerawork, cinematography and is complemented nicely by the violin heavy Howard Shore soundtrack. All for naught, imo, because of the hack work of Art Hindle. What is especially frustrating is that Nicholas Campbell, who plays the assistant to the effortlessly impressive Oliver Reed and also starred in a bunch of other Cronenberg films, does have the talent and would have been a far better choice for lead. It�s likely Cronenberg didn�t have as much artistic control back then as he enjoys today and THE BROOD suffers for that.

The Hillz

THE HILLZ suxx, yo! Clearly influenced by Scoresese and the Hughes Bros (MENACE II SOCIETY), the ineptitude of the cast and crew make it come off more like a downscale ALPHA DOG, and that's being very charitable. Not that I was expecting too much (ok, anything at all) from a straight to DVD Paris Hilton vehicle about high school gangsta wiggers. But my morbid wonder at how bad this could get completely overcame my intense urge to turn it off after 15 minutes and like a grisly car wreck, I just could not turn away. Basically, the movie consists of little more than the gang of aforementioned wiggers drinking forties, smoking bluntz and talking sh!t to each other (my personal favorite moments come whenever "T" (played by the improbable Vince Romoldi) opens his mouth to say anything). And then periodically, She would appear. A dazed and confused looking Paris Hilton plays some kind of Beverly Hills Madonna type and serves as the unattainable love interest for the wigger narrator who's battling his conscience throughout the flick. Bonus points come when Hilton's predictably a$$hole boyfriend spits on her and calls her a "f**king ho". Lots of little treats like that pepper this movie for the benefit of brave (or drunk) trash fans. See the cult cinema of tomorrow today! Just make sure to take a long cleansing shower immediately afterwards.

Why Does Herr R. Run Amok?

This bleak Fassbinder film is not just simply a lazily filmed pretense about the tediousness of modern existence punctuated with a WTF climax. If the themes are not as spelled out or not adequately pretentious enough for you, try a Micheal Hanake movie instead. On the other hand, if a bigger �pay off� is what you�re after, I�d suggest something like Schumacher�s FALLING DOWN. In HERR R., the plot is much looser and nonlinear and the acting far more naturalistic. But its not just a free form improvisation and if you watch closely, you will discern the subtle ways in which Fassbinder constructs Herr R�s disintegration through the development of the various interpersonal conflicts with his coworkers, neighbors and then with the increasingly more intimate people in his life like his son, wife and family. They just don�t seem to make movies quite as bleak as this one anymore. While completely different in tone and style, I was reminded of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE just in terms of the emotionally drained feeling I had by the film�s conclusion. As an aside, it�s also become quite clear to me that 70s German films are where to turn to for my fix of garish fashion and interior design. Oh those crazy Krauts!

Session 9

A nice cerebral horror that effectively translates much of the feel of Kubrick�s The Shining to a creepy abandoned mental institution in MA. Lots of nods to that classic film are wrapped up in a pleasantly cerebral and deliberately paced horror film that is a nice antidote for viewers bored and tired of all the Saw-like nonsense of recent years. Would have been a perfect 5 stars but the story could have been tightened up and focused a tad more.

Hell Ride

I was never really a big fan of the original biker road flicks of the 60s and 70s but I was still completely shocked by how bad this "homage" was. "Quentin Tarantino Presents" is starting to get as hit or miss as "Directed by Quentin Tarantino"! Rather than anything entertaining, this movie is basically a boring ode to the pee-nis of Larry Bishop. Like others have mentioned: the plot is pointlessly complicated, the dialogue absolutely cringe inducing and the characterization is as fake as all the silicone boobs that adorn EVERY single female extra!?! Here I was hoping to at least gets some Low Rider style natural looking babes, but instead I'm deluged with freaking Hollywood stripper types. They?re as out of place as all the digital effects, meth happy focus pulls, exposure flashes and of course, the shaky cam look that just screams "I don't know what I'm doing so I'll just toss in every visual trend of the last 5 years." Simply godawful.

Stuck

Stuart Gordon�s movie really gives a new dimension to the concept of having a bad day While that especially applies to Stephen Rea�s character, it certainly also applies to the Suvari one too. While there is nothing to admire about Mena Suvari�s character in this film, her subsequent actions after being involved in the grisly accident are at least understandable and certainly human (for better or worse) and helps the film to transcend its budgetary and genre pigeonholing. It�s interesting that this was based on a true story that happened in Texas except that the real life woman was black while Mena Suvari played her fictional counterpart as a white woman with corn rows and a black boyfriend(?). Not sure if there is any explanation behind that role reversal beyond the fact that Suvari produced the movie. There is one truly implausible moment in the film, however, that I can�t ignore: Suvari gets the �munchies� while high on E?!? Not bloody likely: a screenplay fail.

The Machine Girl

This is an over the top gore ride that only the Japanese seem to be able to deliver. It�s a pastiche of scenes that you will likely have seen in other movies already but it�s delivered in a well paced and entertaining manner. The dubbing of the Yoshi character is one of those insanely hysterical meth tweaker type dubbing jobs and had me laughing out loud on several occasions. Now who's up for some Yakuza finger sushi? Yum.

Killer Flick

Full of underdeveloped characters and plot points with some self-deprecating pretensions at being something more. The whole movie feels like a cynical gag on filmmaking but at its best moments is a lot of fun and harkens back to 70s exploitation much more than the overly calculated and bigger budgeted attempts do.

Modern Problems

Sweet Moses, this Chevy Chase comedic vehicle is about as half assed and generic as it gets. It's almost so bad as to be good but it's just so damn uninspired that it ultimately falls flat. Chase mostly sleep walks through this cheaply thrown together plot. The very short basketball game scene about a third of the way through really exemplifies the half hearted effort put into this. I could see snippets of the mostly visual gags that Chase would hone into far more entertaining movies later on like NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION and FLETCH. The title theme song, though, is incredibly catchy so I'd check out the first 10 minutes or so before putting on something better. The filmmakers of MODERN PROBLEMS forgot the golden rule: Smoke pot before you watch a movie, not before you make a movie.

Sukiyaki Western Django

After having finally slogged through this, my main thought is DID TAKESHI MIIKE REALLY DIRECT THIS POS?!? This has to be the most conventional and mundanely linear of his films that I can think of. SWD just screams cynical and calculated cash grab and will only seem clever to those who may puzzle over the operation of a blender. I can't entirely fault Miike for cashing on his cult film cred with American fans who likely learned of him through Eli Roth's HOSTEL and thought KILL BILL was a positive new direction for QT (while JACKIE BROWN was undoubtedly hella slow). Gotta get it while the getting is good, I suppose. Anyhow, the film itself is like a Diesel Jeans ad come to life. Japanese pretty boys strutting around flashy Technicolor sets with their puffed up feathers (literally in some cases). Utterly unconvincing. Personally, I prefer my samurai films less noisy and my spaghetti westerns more grizzled. Do yourself and favor and skip this as well as that other recent slick and empty homage to biker films, HELL RIDE.

Tropic Thunder

There�s probably a 1000 reviews or more by now so I�ll just skip mentioning the usual; Downey�s brilliant performance and the pitch perfect and deserved satire of movies like Platoon by the twisted comic sensibilities of Stiller. Instead, I will posit a theory: Stiller is not only satirizing Hollywood war movies with Tropic Thunder but he�s also making a veiled commentary about the actual real war going on in Iraq. Whaaat, you say? Well, think about it. You had Bush in his flight suit and codpiece pretending to be a fighter pilot for the news cameras in real life contrasting with Stiller pretending to be a soldier for some imaginary movie cameras in Tropic Thunder. In fact, none of the cast in the movie within Tropic Thunder have any actual combat experience and neither did much of the Bush administration. What they all do have is macho posturing: who can forget �Bring it on�? But in the midst of all this posturing, the very real threat of the drug runners/Iraq Al-Quada actually exists. And just like Stiller and Co, Bush and Co were blinded by their own convictions that they were the good guys and that the good guys will always triumph over the bad guys. Y�know, just like in the great war movies. Now I�m not saying that Tropic Thunder is an allegory of the Iraq war, but some of the parallels are interesting and elevate the movie beyond simple satire. And the fart jokes are funny as hell too.

Bad Girls from Mars

I'm not normally a fan of cheapo 80s/early 90s low budget sci-fi camp but this Fred Olen Ray production started off strong and managed to suck me into its twisted vortex. Between the cool electronic score, the cheesy sets/acting, and the ample hairspray/silicone fueled sex jokes, I can't really decide what captivated me and made me stick with it. But then the almost giallo-esque murder mystery just fizzled and meandered its way into tedium for much of the middle act before a slight pick up in action towards the end. Bad Girls teetered between a two and three star rating, but the excruciatingly dull middle segment ultimately bumped it down to two. Recommended only for trash cinema fans or post-op's with a script for the good painkillers.

Four Flies on Grey Velvet

It is really good to *finally* see this undeservedly obscure Argento giallo get an official DVD release. I am thrilled to be able to finally ditch the wretched bootlegs of this and MYA Communications should be commended for stepping up to the plate and releasing this infamously elusive title from one of Eurocult's biggest names. Having said that, FFOGV is not one of Argento's stronger efforts. This, despite having a kick a$$ beating heart/drum solo title sequence and a truly trippy initial scene. After this strong start, the movie loses energy and gets hobbled by a somewhat dull story, some truly dubious science (even by giallo standards!) and bland performances from the leads. The crisp new transfer makes some of Argento's aesthetics much easier to discern and appreciate but he has done better work elsewhere. Pluses have to include the typically strong score from Morricone and some interestingly humorous side plots. In terms of Extras, trailers are always welcome but its disappointing that no interview or commentary track were included. Overall, even lesser Argento is still worth checking out so I heartily recommend this to fans of the man and/or the genre.

Flash Gordon

Gotta agree with the general sentiment that this is a camp classic, particularly if you first saw this as a kid. What�s interesting to me is that this is actually one of my earliest film watching memories. After having grown up into an Eurocult obsessive, I couldn�t help but now notice that it was produced by Dino DeLaurentis and had many other Italian names behind the scenes (not too mention the absolutely ravishing Ornella Muti front and center!). And then I realized just how subversively sleazy and downright kinky a lot of the set and costume design actually are! There is even a scene involving a memory deleting laser beam that removed memories all the way back to the sounds of the victim�s parents y�know �procreating�. I watched this as a kid at a matinee show filled with other kids. Those blasted Italians corrupted us all! Well, me especially. I had also forgotten the cool psychedelic title sequence and the score performed by Queen. Very cool. Worth revisiting on Instant Watch.

Even Dwarfs Started Small

The inmates at a mental institution decide to rebel against the management and just generally start engaging in silly acts and games. Meanwhile the warden paces furiously around his office not knowing how to react while a colleague just sits back in his chair and laughs and laughs. The hook? Everyone is a midget, excuse me, little person. What I enjoyed most about Herzog's surreal little mindf*ck of a movie was that nothing was sacred. Everything could be ridiculed, mocked or laughed at. Consequently, both right and left leaning critics panned it as an abomination upon its initial release. In fact, if the Herzog name wasn't attached to this film, I bet half of the reviews for it on here would change to 1s and 2s. There's no real plot or attempt at telling a story;its just a bunch of midgets running around acting crazy. But within those images, Herzog meditates on the human condition. Some scenes, like where the little people play-act a mock wedding using small insects, have a more accessible subtext. But the bulk of the movie is of the WTF variety; snippets of meaning may or may not be there, but I'll be damned to try to rationalize any of it in print. My one regret about this otherwise fine movie is that it may have spawned the dubious trend of casting midgets in subsequent art films, leading to the conviction among less talented hacks that sticking a dwarf or two in their crappy art flick gives it some kind of profound surreal statement. "Thanks", Werner!

Land of Silence and Darkness

An early Herzog documentary that is both poignant and also full of the kind of visual metaphors and imagery that would later define Herzog�s artistry. Ironically, while the deaf and blind seem like the perfect subject matter to make a documentary where the filming itself would arguably have little to no influence on the subject, Herzog readily throws himself into the mix! One can hear his voice from behind the camera and even clearly see his hands entering the frame on several occasions. But beyond Herzog�s clever games, this documentary has moments that are both simple and powerful; the stand out scene for me was that of a Russian boy born deaf and blind embracing and hugging a radio playing pop music tightly to feel the vibrations it produces. Despite Herzog�s manipulations, the end product feels remarkably free of melodrama or contrivances ironically enough.

SS Hell Camp

Another jaw dropper in the Naziploitation genre cooked up by those wickedly twisted Italian trash masters of the 70s. The movie is about a bunch of Nazi scientists who have created the first of what is promised to be a new master race. Interestingly, the "superman" they create is a short and very hairy caveman (?) who grunts and likes to f**k a lot. A lot. Female POWs are fed to him like gerbils to a snake. Perhaps his appearance is a sarcastic and ironic mockery of the provincial German perception of themselves as a master race by the Italians? Perhaps I'm just trying to justify this inane and shoddily filmed travesty (more camera shadows than boobies) and am just talking out of my a$$? What is clear is that the German accents in the dubbing were not made by anyone who was remotely German and sound absolutely hysterical. The movie has this weird schizophrenic quality to it in that there are long stretches of time involving characters not found in the rest of the movie where not much really happens and then WHAM! Suddenly a bunch of Nazis shoot up an old lady, grab a kid from his mother, fling it up in the air and shoot it and then shoot the mother. That's exploitation gold right there, mates! Turns out that Beast in Heat was made by splicing wild scenes like this into an older unrelated movie to stretch out the run time so it could be pawned off as feature length. You just gotta love this level of chutzpah!

Doomsday

Neil Marshall has often been touted as one of the new forces in horror. Personally, I found The Descent to easily be his strongest while Dog Soldiers tended to meander too much for my tastes. But I came to Doomsday trying to avoid building up any high expectations from the greatness of The Descent. Even accounting for that, I was still just at a loss for how awful and clich� ridden Doomsday turned out to be. His zombie plague themed movie borrowed liberally from half a dozen other films, many of them none too memorable themselves. And the high crisis per minute plot and dialogue came straight from the Michael Bay school of film direction, complete with that annoying rapid editing style to the fight scenes. Some allusions to Katrina and other political events were laughable and hardly redeemed matters. Look, if this is Marshall's calling card to Hollywood then I say good for him. Go for the pot'o'gold and godspeed to you, kind sir! But Marshall just suddenly stopped being a must see. I guess that's just how it goes.

Next Door

A Nordic thriller that invokes comparisons to Polanski�s classic Repulsion but were it just a retread alone, it would warrant only 3 stars because of its lack of depth and Deneuve. This modern tale of alienation and madness has a wonderfully unexpected kinetic aesthetic, in both performances and cinematography. The filming of what �happens� from the subjective POV of the slowly unraveling protagonist is done very skillfully on sets consisting mainly of drab apartment sets. The kink factor is also something one can�t (and shouldn�t) ignore! I would heartily recommend this one to those of you who are tired to death of the predictability in current Hollywood �thrillers�.

Storm Warning

A solid entry in the �yuppie couple in peril� subgenre of horror that is much better than mainstream crap like VACANCY. In this case, a middle aged couple are caught and forced to match wits with a family of pot growers fond of plastic sex dolls and watching bestiality videos during �family time�. �Poppy�, powerfully portrayed by John Brumpton, is one of the most intense crazy guy roles I�ve seen in a good while. However, before the complete insanity of the situation is fully realized by the couple (and audience), the initial interaction between the parties is expertly pulled off and truly creates an unnervingly tense situation that is a credit to both the cast and director Blanks. The simultaneous feelings of class guilt and growing fear that the yuppies are feeling in this scene are unexpectedly complex for a film of this ilk. This theme isn�t explored any further but the rest is a stylish and fun movie that doesn�t strive for realism but is no less satisfying for that. And it features an extremely potent (as well as painful�OUCH) anti-rape message that is very memorable!

Cockfighter

Oates and Hellman�s brilliant meditation on monomania really should be considered essential viewing by fans of 70s cinema. While possessing a much more linear and accessible plot than their other masterpiece, Two Lane Blacktop, Cockfighter is still replete with Hellman�s signature style of communicating through largely wordless sequences and scenes. As if to echo that sentiment, Oates� character actually stops speaking about a third into the movie! Oates is perfect as the obsessive and determined �cockfighter� who exhibits an unexpectedly softer side around several female love interests. Nevertheless, they are dispatched to the wayside as he pursues his one and true monomania. Potential viewers should note that the movie contains extended scenes of actual cockfighting. Finally, the Extras include a very strong documentary about Oates that gives a very detailed assessment of his artistic life that is worth the rental alone.

Eight Miles High

The one interesting item that I learned from watching 8 Miles High is that some Germans apparently used to use ?hair tonic? to get high during the 1970s(?). Alas, the story of a groupie (who does, helpfully, get naked a lot throughout the film) just doesn?t have enough weight in its story. It?s a reminder of the (depressingly) true adage that a life of nonstop sex and drugs can become monotonous after a short while. And yet the movie is almost 2 tedious hours long. I?m really curious about whether there was some deeper thematic resonance in choosing a rock groupie as the subject of a biopic, but if there was, it was mostly lost on me. What I had hoped for, instead, was that the movie had focused some more on the Germany of the 1970s; particularly the architecture, interior design and fashions. The Germans were into some crazily creative sh!t back then.

The Deadly and the Beautiful

Sultry Nancy Kwan stars as an evil and brilliant scientist whose �methods and genius transcend human morality�. And, of course, as with all serious evil scientists bent on world domination, Kwan assembles a small army of hot kung-fu fighting g-go dancers to do her bidding. And thus follows a m�lange of skimpy outfits (but no actual TnA), car chases and cheesy 70s lighting effects all accompanied by a suitably funky 70s wah wah soundtrack. 2 highlights for me were seeing Sid Haig in a bit part as a fastidiously groomed and impeccably dressed smooth talking lawyer and also the scene featuring �brain sex�. In that scene, the man and woman put on metal head plates and then proceed to undulate while trippy light and sound patterns play. This obscure little B film had this idea 20 years before it would appear again in Stallone�s Demolition Man!

Mirrors

Aja takes his own stab at remaking Kubrick�s THE SHINING, but the resulting film is decidedly lackluster and conventional, compared to say, SESSION 9. In place of an off season hotel or abandoned mental hospital, Aja shifts the setting to an abandoned shopping mall. If that�s some kind of veiled commentary on how much more commercialized the world has become since the 70s when THE SHINING was released, it�s not a theme that Aja subsequently explores. Instead we�re treated to a fairly conventional story dressed up with admittedly strong technical and stylistic touches. But enough about all that; what about the gruesomeness and gore? Fans of his previous works are going to be let down by Mirrors. Instead Aja throws a lot of CGI at the screen (most egregiously in the pointlessly CGI overloaded finale). Sutherland and the other cast are as good as they can be with the very derivative screenplay. The combination of being enamored by Aja�s style while being simultaneously bored by the plot put my head in a nice space where it never even considered the many implausibilities contained in the plot.

Le Professionnel

This movie is chiefly distinguished by an opening credit sequence (remember when movies used to have those?) that is the coolest thing this side of Saul Bass! As a �we�re not worthy� bonus, the music is by the legendary Ennio Morricone, who's firing on all cylinders here. This concludes the good things I have to say about Le Professionel; the remainder of the movie basically consists of an older and tired looking Belmondo traipsing through a mundane plot full of mundane happenings.

The Virgo, The Taurus and The Capricorn

"Dirty sluts, you are putting more filth in my mind!" mutters Edwige Fenech's neighbor as he spies on her and her friend sunbathing topless on their patio with his binoculars. I felt very much like this guy as I watched the lovely Ms Fenech and at least a few other well endowed women frequently disrobe throughout this Italian sex comedy from Luciano Martino, Fenech's real life husband at the time. Perhaps this fact explains why Ms Fenech seems to get naked in this movie more often than any of her others! Unfortunately, the rest of the film just limps along from one nude scene to the next. Luciano, normally found in the producer's chair, shows little of the directorial flair of say, his brother, Sergio. Sure there are funny scenes such as when an incredibly hairy would-be lothario tries to pick up a bikini clad Fenech poolside with double entendre dialogue about tennis rackets and balls. But the majority of the running time is preoccupied with just joylessly getting through the clich�'d plot from one nude scene to the next. And, as is common for this genre, the male lead here is a short fat bald loser and yet inexplicably is able to be married to a beauty like Fenech and, more incredibly still, decides to (successfully) cheat on her with still even more beauties. So there�s hope for all of us. As always, Fenech's physical charms are also enhanced by her genuine acting talent and make this otherwise absurd premise come off as an entertaining viewing experience.

The Last House on the Beach

Like some of the other reviewers, I was initially let down by the tame amount of graphic violence and nudity in this movie compared to other late 70s Italian genre fare. But director Prosperi, more famous for his mondo films, crafts a fine effort characterized mainly by an oddly compelling "art house" aesthetic, particularly in the slow mo rape scenes and the uber-trippy and highly grooving soundtrack. Prosperi also wastes little time with exposition and dives right into the sleazy deep end as the gang of fugitives led by Lovelock immediately start to aggressively communicate their sexual lust for the group of school girls who's house they stumble upon as they evade the authorities hot off their bank robbery. Like Peckinpah's STRAW DOGS, LHOTB will draw some ire for the ambiguous depiction of the girls' reactions to being raped and terrorized. The plot itself offers little surprise and a remake would undoubtedly amp up the revenge angle and not make the girls seem like such passive victims for much of the running time. There is also a great minor scene where discotheque footage from the rare giallo EYES BEHIND THE WALL plays on a TV that Prosperi uses to establish atmosphere. Overall, Prosperi�s expert execution of this overtly familiar plotline and the great soundtrack won me over. As usual, Lovelock is great as the conflicted bad guy and the Extras include an incredibly exhaustive interview with him that covers his career. Florinda Balkan, while older than in her heyday, is hardly "dried up" and looks great with her gorgeous dark brown eyes and flowing hair.

Vanessa

The reviews section for older sexploitation movies here are always a curious place to visit. I think it should go without saying that one shouldn't be expecting grand artistic triumphs in terms of plot or characterization from movies like VANESSA. That these are just mere props on which the makers throw heaping amounts of TnA is really the whole point of 95% of these cinematic ventures. And that's precisely why VANESSA gets 4 stars from me: it handily delivers on the promise of this genre. The inheritance plot (how much more derivative can ya get!) is a complete throw away that only serves as a bridge from one sex scene to the next. But wow do those scenes really work. Beginning with the lead's delectable puffer nips, this film is stocked with stellar naked ladies working their magic on some artfully designed and lit sets. These 70s babes are stunning, and that isn't always the case with 70s sex flicks. In my fevered imagination, the 70s were more about partying and hedonism than about treadmills and plastic surgery. So these girls' natural beauty is just that much more special than the cookie cutter silicone babes of the present day. To me, Vanessa provoked comparisons to D'Amato's BLACK EMANUELLE series although it's missing the more deviant elements. While not in the same league as Nico Fidenco, VANESSA's soundtrack was rhythmic and disco-y and complemented the onscreen action quite aptly.

Le Magnifique

This low budget spy parody starring the male lead from Godard's BREATHLESS is wildly uneven, but the positives wound up being more numerous than the negatives, at least for me. After some initial clumsy action scenes, the film started to grow on me as my cynical appreciation for the Belmondo character's casual concern for killing people just began to overwhelm any misgivings I was having. On that note, the movie was shockingly gory and also had some unexpected pot smoking scenes (always a good thing as I am compelled to take a sympathetic toke so I can...y'know, better understand the characters and their mindset...ahem). A very young Jacqueline Bisset plays a dual role and serves as the luscious love interest both in the real and fantasy worlds of the film. Belmondo is really entertaining as the superspy alter ego and the greasy haired arch-villain is a dead ringer for Carla's hubby Nick on the old TV show CHEERS. More astute Eurocult aficionados will also spot the brief role played by Fabrizio Moresco (his final role according to IMDB), who made himself a mini-career playing the creepy greasy haired junkie characters in the gialli of Emilio Miraglia and others. While it is overlong and the real life episodes get to be boring as it progresses, LE MAGNIFIQUE is recommended for fans of whimsical 60s films like Roman Polanski's WHAT.

The Offence

A very dark and moody British thriller from the always excellent Sidney Lumet starring a post-James Bond Sean Connery and replete with theatrical like monologues from Connery and the other players throughout. As with Lumet's later works (such as BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD), there are many shifts in time that elucidate the plot in a non-chronological manner. Accompanied by a sparse but very effective score. Recommended.

Ricco the Mean Machine

This 70s Italian exploitation staple has some memorable scenes that may have gained it some more cult status if not for what was, imo, a major misstep in casting. Christopher Mitchum, son of the more famous Mitchum, looks like some sort of blonde surfer version of one of those modish prefab teen stars of the 60s. Did I mention this was an Italian movie? They might have just as well given his role to Fred Williamson or Bruce Lee and it wouldn't have been any more incongruous than it turned out. Imagine taking a random Franco Nero flick and recasting it with one of the Monkees and you get the gist of the problem. Luckily, the makers decided to not aim for too serious of a tone and so what remains is a minor but entertaining trashy treat. It sort of addresses the youth movement vs old guard tensions of the 60s/70s but its mostly fun for stuff like zoom happy go-go dancing in a discotheque and hilarious lines of dialogue like "Love mixed with hate tastes better. Kiss me!". Out of the blue, Ricco borrows a trope from the Italian cannibal genre and we get treated to an on camera castration. But Ricco will be most memorable to me for what has to be the greatest introduction of sex siren Barbara Bouchet in any of her films ever: a shot of her cleavage, then her tight short wearing derriere, then the cleavage again and back and forth like that before she even utters a single line of dialogue. Deliciously trashy.

Fantastic Argoman

Sergio Grieco, director of the ultraviolent Beast With A Gun, also directed this groovy Italian superhero flick earlier in his career. The lead, Roger Browne, was a handsome if somewhat bland leading star of 50s and 60s Italian genre flicks and deftly moved from the sword and sandals genre into the popular spy genre (including a notable performance in Umberto Lenzi's ultra rare Last Man To Kill) as box office trends evolved. Following the international success of Bava's Diabolik, a spawn of imitators, including Argoman, were released to capitalize on the trend. Argoman never quite reaches the same heights as Diabolik but it certainly has its charms. The soundtrack from the ever groovy Piero Umiliani is one of his finest. Argoman hands out radioactive cigarettes to trace people; which is a charming reminder of the relative innocence of the 60s before pretty much everything was determined to be bad for one's health in the dreary present day. There are some great visually appealing scenes such as giant humanoid robots attacking scantily clad women on sets rife with outlandish 60s d�cor. And the amusement factor of Argoman's rather awkward spandex outfit should never be minimized, particularly as I don't recall if it was ever made clear as to whether he actually even had any special powers.

The Pornographers

LET THE PORNOGRAPHERS TEACH YOU � THE FACTS OF LIFE goes the tagline for this film from the director of Vengeance is Mine and Eel. Analogous to his style in VIM, Imamura juxtaposes the lurid world of porn filmmaking with the more mundane day to day life of family squabbles that the filmmakers come home to. Unfortunately, The Pornographers is far less focused than VIM and spends far too much screen time on the home life of the pornmaking protagonist without any real payoff for the viewer, thematically or plot wise. As other reviewers already mentioned, it ends just as things start getting interesting again after a fairly tedious middle act. But there are some highlights that will be of interest to viewers who enjoy Imamura�s cynical tone. The conversation with one of the pornographer�s clients over dinner about the virtues of schoolgirls is one. The jawdropping scene where they attempt to film a scene with a retarded girl certainly is another. Despite the lurid title, the one scene of nudity in this is so brief that I must have blinked and missed it myself. I also thought that the visual style of this film was dazzling and I enjoyed the vibe heavy soundtrack. Overall, people new to Imamura should probably start with VIM. The Pornographers is recommended for Imamura fans only.

The Blood Drinkers

A Philipino cheapie imported and dubbed for the American drive-in market by Al Adamson's Independent International. The Blood Drinkers is a very early Philipino production and the Universal/Hammer horrors influences were more dominant here compared to the sleazier TnA output of subsequent 70s stuff like Roger Corman's New World Pictures and their imitators. And as is typical of most of Adamson's output, The Blood Drinkers just flat out sucks without sucking so much that the extremes of its suckage could then become a source of entertainment in and of itself. At its best moments, there is an undeniable atmospheric feel that lends itself to the story of a gun toting Philipino bald headed vampire, but these moments are preciously few and far in between. The picture is color tinted and alternates between different colors creating a strangely psychedelic effect that just adds to the overall weirdness.

The Majorettes

For a good while, I settled into this very by the numbers formulaic slasher flick and was enjoying the hilarity brought upon from the expected bad acting and cheesily crude F/X work. But then about halfway in, it suddenly veers and takes a turn into some kind of witless Tarantino-esque crime drama that kind of goes nowhere before swerving back for a more typical slasher ending. The actor playing the killer is just precious. Skimpy cheerleader outfits and a decent 80s electronic score were also a welcome addition. I had browser tabs with pr0n ready but Majorettes just had enough to keep me tuned in. Worth a look if you enjoy the high cheese factor of 80s slashers.

Lady in Cement

A tired looking Frank Sinatra stars in this 70s mystery flick that also features Raquel Welch in a bikini! Helmed by Hollywood journeyman, Gordon Douglas (who was also getting a lot of blaxploitation work at this time), the film is competently directed in a distinctly non dazzling way that is further deteriorated by the dingy and generally shabby set designs. From this humdrum state of affairs it was rather surprising when the victim of the murder central to the rather thin and predictable plot was actually shown drowned and topless! An irresistibly groovy Hugo Montenegro score and some sweet Miami location footage from that era help things move along (did I already mention Raquel and her bikini?). Yet it�s hard to recommend this to anyone but the most ardent Sinatra completists.

The Sister of Ursula

A fairly explicit mid tier giallo that will forever enjoy quite some notoriety for the killer's highly original MO. I always get a kick out of the various ways Italian exploitation makers will spice up dull dialogue scenes by having the characters engage in them as they are undressing or just having a nightgown strap slip off to expose a nipple for a precious second or two (as if to acknowledge the muted desire deep within the recesses of the viewer's reptilian brain center). And what dialogue! Lines like "You are too mediocre for love" had me chuckling throughout. The mystery in this one is not much of one but the end result gels together much better than some of the other soft core gialli of the time. Strangely enough, the Donald Duck motif that inexplicably weaves its way through 30 years of giallo history is even found in this late 70s entry. Why Donald Duck? I have no flippin' clue, but watch 50+ gialli and you'll see what I mean! Gore hounds should take note that all of the gore in this one is strictly after the fact stuff. Genre stalwart Marc Porel plays a drug addict, a role eerily coinciding with the real life drug addiction that would shortly claim his life a few years after this production.

Arabesque

This 60s Hollywood flick is super stylish. A very cool opening titles sequence segues into a stylistic exercise for director Donen that primarily involves taking advantage of every opportunity to present the onscreen image as a distorted reflection off of some unique surface. Throw in a killer Mancini score, an especially glamorous Sophia Loren and the reliably dapper Gregory Peck and you have yourself quite the cinematic experience. What�s it about? That�s relatively convoluted and entirely besides the point. Dig it.

Lucker the Necrophagous

This was supposed to have had the imaginative alternate title of "Corpse Rapist". Despite the sordid subject matter, this film was made with so little cinematic flair or even basic competence in sound mixing, editing, etc that the final product really should have just remained obscure. Its very rare I have this extreme of a negative reaction to a film but don't interpret that as any kind of distinctive feature of the film that may make it worthwhile in any way. About the only things I enjoyed were the final line of the film and the interview with the director in the Extras where he tries to justify his new director's cut of this crude rip off of Nekromantik and Lustig's Maniac

Class of 1984

�If you are going to survive around here, you�ve got to learn to look the other way� is the advice given to new teacher hire Perry King by unhinged co-teacher Roddy McDowell before he very casually shows him the concealed firearm he takes to class with him everyday. Just in case �looking the other way� doesn�t work out, I suppose. How freaking cool is this flick?? Alice Cooper sings the title track while Lalo Schiffrin handles the rest of the score! This is definitely an exploitation spin on the school classroom genre so all the �serious� social messages are chucked out of the window in favor of scenes like a punk chick with a beehive hairdo snorting coke and stripping right down to her birthday suit. But before anyone goes and condemns the movie for glamorizing drug use and stripping, there is a poignant anti-drug message involving a hysterical coke freakout and the school�s flag pole, American flag flying proudly and all. Despite the presence of Old Glory, this film definitely looked like it was filmed in Toronto as noted by the presence of a very young Michael J Fox, veteran character actor Al Waxman and several Mr. Submarines (Canada�s answer to Subway). Perry King is pretty boy bland, but Roddy McDowell absolutely steals the show as the unhinged biology teacher, a gun in one pocket and a casket of whiskey in the other. The 80s hairspray day-glo punk teen gang is just icing on the cinematic cake.

The King of Kong

Finally had a chance to catch this on instant watch after months of hearing unanimously high praise from both NF and real life friends alike. The other reviews here aptly describe just how damn good this documentary is (I agree) so I just wanted to focus my little blurb on the incredible enigma that is Billy Mitchell. Throughout the doc, this mullet headed hot sauce entrepreneur continually speaks through Randian and Sun Tzu as filtered through Chuck Norris pearls of wisdom as his heavily siliconed trophy wife sits by and listens to this world record holder of a 20 year old arcade game defend himself against a challenge from a guy from Seattle! I kept pinching myself, futilely, always ready to believe that my subconscious had just concocted this improbable creation as part of some evil internal coup d?etat attempt rather than face the more horrible truth of Billy?s actual existence in a world I also have to live in. And then there?s the added bonus of being exposed to the whole network of organized arcade high score keeping and how its internal politics(?) helped to further the spread the myth of Billy! To the documentary maker?s credit, he never comes out on screen and slaps any of these people.

Descent

Rosario Dawson is totally hot. Really, really hot. Why, I could just about watch her in any piece of crap. And thus then here we are discussing this craptastic flick. Plagued by poor characterization and inept pacing, this wannabe edgy flick has the dubious distinction of having one of the most boring cinematic rape scenes I have ever seen. I know some of my fellow pervs are gonna want to know that. Not that I was (necessarily) looking for titillation myself, but the decision to film it in such a dark and far too arty aesthetic basically deflated any impact of the subsequent Audition-like climax, imo. Rosario does the best she can with what little she was given and some of the NYC nightclub imagery during her �descent� period is pretty cool.

Lies

This movie is not mainstream porn, although it is quite explicit and funnily enough, structured much like your typical porn flick. Unlike the glossy soft focus of Hollywood romance, the acting and look of Lies is very naturalistic. In my opinion, it has one of the most spot on recreations of the initial euphoria/lust that comes at the onset of a new sexual relationship. Normally I find the device of having the film director and cast directly speaking to the audience as artificial and pretentious, but I don�t mind it here. It is used with admirable restraint and rightly draws the viewer�s attention to what must have been an exhaustingly emotional (and physical) investment from the 2 leads. If I had one complaint, it would be the long running time. Many scenes tend to drag (also much like porn after awhile). Have filmmakers just forgotten how to tell their stories in 90 minutes these days??

The Lavender Hill Mob

Yet another Ealing Studio masterpiece. Along with the expected high production values typical of Ealing movies of this time, the centerpiece of this comedic heist caper is the inimitable performance of Alec Guiness. Having watched this along with a slew of other late 40s/early 50s films, I was also impressed by the remarkably modern kinetic set pieces peppered throughout, most notably several car chases and an audacious chase scene set against a back projection of the Eiffel Tower.

Zombie Strippers

A passable time waster, this one is worth checking out if only to satisfy your curiosity about just how this crazy premise could be tackled. Despite its low budget (most noticeable in the way that almost the entire movie takes place on a sound stage minimally made up to resemble a strip club) and clumsily anti-Bush politically tinged screenplay, Zombie Strippers delivers on the anticipated bad taste thrills. Ever wonder about zombie fe11atio? I know I have. Watch this flick and wonder no more.

Grand Prix

Technically, Frankenheimer�s racecar driving scenes are utterly breathtaking. This special edition also has a remixed soundtrack to create a truly immersive experience. Unfortunately, the tedious soap opera melodramatics that pad the spaces between the driving scenes make the overall viewing experience almost as grueling as driving LeMans myself. At least genre fans will take note of appearances from Toshiro Mifune and Antonio Sabato.

The Disenchanted

What an excruciating bore. I guess for every Francois Ozon there has to be a a couple of Benoit Jacquots to balance things out. Simply namedropping Rimbaud, making your characters act odd for its own sake and then throwing in a depressingly sick mother do not automatically make for a worthwhile movie. One star, but I threw in an additional one for the great WTF aborted seduction scene of the doofus in the pink Lacoste shirt.

Stanley: Special Edition

Troubled and disaffected single male loners were definitely popular subject matter in 70s cinema, from Scorsese's Taxi Driver through to such grindhouse fare as Patrick, The Killing Kind and now Tim Ochopee and his rattlesnake Stanley joins the pantheon, re-energized via a special edition DVD from BCI. An American Indian ex-Vietnam vet fed up with the white man's culture, Tim moved to a remote cabin in the Florida Everglades and found solace among the slithery set. His favorite is Stanley. Initially, Tim is sympathetically portrayed as having an unusually deep but harmless relationship with the many snakes he lives with. Extended scenes of Stanley and the snakes reminded me of Joe Spinell's scenes among his mannequins in Lustig's Maniac. Some freaky sh!t goes down including an intricately concocted mating session for Stanley and a formal dinner Tim hosts for his favorite snakes, complete with Tim saying grace before live rodents are served. I guess that is what they call foreshadowing as our quietly psychotic snake charmer soon enough teeters over the edge after some repeated run ins with snake rustlers, led by Detroit 9000's Alex Rocco in a hilarious performance. This paves the way for some highly entertaining death-by-snake scenes that mostly consist of the victims writhing and flailing about with obviously rubber snakes. Despite this film being a Crown International release, there is no nudity to speak of although there are several (very unwelcome) scenes of an over the hill stripper groovin' it up with a snake in a dingy nightclub. Chris Robinson really excels as the quiet yet intense creepy type. He manages to stay in character despite quite a few very close interactions with actual snakes.

Vacancy

The one thing I did like about Vacancy is that it allows me to unequivocally state that the director is, in fact, a Nimrod. That the screenwriter is also a nimrod would require only slightly more effort to argue. I havent seen Kontroll yet, but am in no rush to after suffering through this. I must have missed how this compares to Psycho in any way beyond the motel setting?! Is Motel Hell also an homage to Hitchcock then? Waaay too slick Hollywood nonsense full of implausible actions and yawn inducing jump scares. Its a shame that crap like this gets wider distribution than far superior 'yuppie couple in peril' films such as Them or even Storm Warning. Soon, computers will write all of our movies...

The Italian Job

Yikes! 409+ reviews; I'm clearly late in the game on this one. Actually, I watched this just once 4 years ago and that point leads to my one and single compliment about The Italian Job remake: it is certainly very memorable. That is that it sticks out in my head as the single most egregious example of the zero creativity, connect-a-plot, in-yer-face nonstop product placement bullsh!t that modern glossy big budget Hollywood has devolved into in this brave new millennium. Why yes, I sent an e-mail about the heist plan to your Erikkson phone from my Dell laptop. Let me have a swig of your Pepsi and I'll meet you by one of our several MiniCoopers so we can drive into the third act! And yes, I'm aware that MiniCoopers were used in the original. Are you aware that BMW reintroduced the Mini the very same year this turd was released? I kept expecting the players to wink or smirk into the camera but to no avail. The acting talent include Ed Norton sleepwalking through his contractual obligations and Jason Statham, who always precipitates an internal debate about whether he's actually more popular in the USA than in Britain. Ahh, but Charlize Theron sho iz sexy! But most perplexing is Mos Def. Here is this mega talented 'black consciousness' rapper and yet he decides to make his acting debut in a glossy remake from an ex R Kelly music vid director?! Fire your agent, bro.

Afro Samurai: Season 1

The concept behind this (i.e. mixing hip hop, martial arts and anime) is a pretty strong one. It�s a shame that not nearly as much care went into making the characters and plot as strong in the execution. The end result is something I would have undoubtedly loved in my early 20s; some pretty cool and kinetic visuals set to RZA beats. The graphic violence and profanity-laced dialogue were also a welcome addition. But I guess I�ve matured (or something) in the interim years and need a little more now.

Monster of London City / Mystery of the Red Orchid

Two more German krimis are available for rental. Both of these films have strong and involving plots that held my interest throughout. What really struck me about the murder scenes in these two films was just how dispassionately they were presented. As is often the case, this just made me notice how much more sexualized murder scenes would become in the later Italian gialli and the modern American thrillers they�ve influenced. In Red Orchid, the viewer is treated to early performances from Christopher Lee and a very young looking Klaus Kinski.

Monster of Venice

This was my first krimi, the German predecessors to the Italian gialli cycle that began in the late 60s. MoV confirms what I�ve read about this genre; it is more plot and dialogue heavy and much tamer in its exploitive elements compared to the gialli. There were some nice stylistic touches like an artful use of shadows and the familiar shots of the killer�s walking feet that helped to set the mood for this tale of a Jeffrey Dahmer type killer who is terrorizing Venice. Unfortunately, the movie suffers from some seriously bad pacing and incredibly poor editing that could have been much tighter. Undaunted, I hope to find better examples of the krimi as Monster of Venice is a truly substandard entry.

80 Minutes

I think I liked this premise better when it was called Crank and starred XXX-TrEmE(TM) bald dude Jason Statham. Oh wait! I liked it even better back when it was called the D.O.A remake starring Dennis Quaid. Great Balls of Fire!! I think Ive finally got it: I liked this premise the very best when it was called the first D.O.A starring Edmond OBrien way back in 1950. 58 years ago when this story line was actually original. Dems were the days, I tells ya.

The Eroticist

Puppis. Puppis. Puppis. Lucio Fulci was much more of a versatile director than just his most noted "gore" films would suggest. He also lent his eye for evocative imagery and cinematography to other Italian genres like the gialli and even sex comedies. The latter included La Pretora, starring the impossibly gorgeous Edwige Fenech, and this hyper cynical one that was also marketed under the title The Senator Likes Women. Puppis. Puppis. Viewers should keep in mind that the political climate of Italy in the 60s and 70s was one of profound disillusionment with a broken government and a sense that the country was teetering out of control from rampant crime and kidnappings. Puppis. Puppis. This was reflected in even the genre cinema of the time and Fulci's comedy is as apt example as any. No one is spared; politicians, the police, the military, the Catholic church, women, the Italian masses are all skewered without mercy. Its hilarious! Puppis. Puppis. In contrast other Italian sex comedies I've seen, the plot of this one is much more complex and involved. It is further buoyed by some well made dream sequences that has Fulci even dabbling in some nunsploitation. Acting performances are top notch and the cast notably includes the great character actor Lionel Sanders (from the old Hart to Hart TV series) and the stunning Swedish beauty Anita Strindberg among other top shelf Eurocult beauties. Sadly, the former's signature raspy voice is missing as he was dubbed into Italian. Even viewers that are not huge fans of other Italian sex comedies should give this one consideration as it is a unique and entertaining gem from a bygone era. Puppis. Puppis. Puppis.

The Big Racket

Castellari's action epic drips with style from the very first frame and rarely lets up on that front throughout. There is a great scene filmed inside a car that careens and starts flipping over that is more technically complex than anything I've seen in other poliziotteschi of that time. But Castellari's higher production values do not come at the expense of standard 70s Italian exploitation staples including several outrageously titillating rape scenes. This is all set to one of the DeAngelis Bros finest percussive rock soundtracks. However, the film suffers from one major flaw: the casting of Fabio Testi. Testi, simply put, is a lover and not a fighter. He is completely noncredible as a bad a$$ cop and that fact compromises many scenes that were undoubtedly designed to come off as intense but instead produce unintentional laughs.

The Heroin Busters

Another Castellari/Testi collaboration in the Italian crime genre. Like The Big Racket, this one is full of entertaining and well executed action scenes and nice sleazy touches that only the Italians of the 70s seemed able to pull off! Furthering my commentary on Fabio's distinct lack of bada$$ness, I was amused to see that he grew a beard for this flick. Beards are a potent testosterone enabler, to be sure, but Fabio's issues are much deeper than that. And some of his wardrobe selections in this one really have to be seen to be believed. As does the minor character sporting the really bad toupee. Looking beyond my superficial hang ups, this movie is a solid Castellari action flick and worth the rental.

Daniella by Night

Three ingredients for making an entertaining movie can include mannequins, Elke Sommer, and criminal activity amongst fashionable high society. Unfortunately, despite this film containing all three of these elements, the resulting product is wholly unremarkable and extremely tedious to boot. Did I mention that Elke gets bound and gagged on a bed? That there is an extended topless act set in a Parisian nightclub? That an admittedly cool loungy jazz score causes one to pause from their intention of fast forwarding through the dull and meandering plot? My guess is that Daniella By Night was an early example of Euro sexploitation, back when there was still an attempt at plot and production values to keep things "respectable" as the brief flashes of nudity flashed by our eyeballs. Thinking about that can help make the viewing more interesting, but that is an awful lot to task a casual viewer with. This puppy is recommended for completists and other obsessives only.

Cold Eyes of Fear

This early giallo from future Italian action maestro Castellari is a tepid and boring affair. It is full of incredibly cheesy audio and visual editing that Castellari experimented with before he eventually decided on apeing Peckinpah as "his" signature style in his later and better known works. The movie has a promising start with the knife attack on sultry Karyn Schubert by the killer but the plot soon devolves into an overtalky tedium bereft of any real action or intrigue. Even among mid tier gialli, CEOF is pretty bad. Aside from the typically strong Morricone sdtk, some viewers may find the hokey dream/hallucination sequences hilarious. The extras on the DVD include an overlong and unnecessary 9 minute(!) video introduction full of silicone boobs covered in fake blood BS and the original trailer, which happens to be psychedelic as all f**k. Too bad the movie doesn?t quite live up to it. Barely a three star due to my weakness for arty cheese.

Substitute 2: School's Out

Tired C list action star Treat Williams takes over the helm from tired B list action star Tom Berenger in this unrelated and uninspired sequel. Little of the humor that made the original so entertaining is found here. Instead we have a thin plot stretched out with scenes of extraneous dialogue and sub plots that go nowhere. Most of the players seem to phone in their performances as they cash their paycheck. In the Extras (that actually list Subtitles as an Extra?!?), the production notes inform us that Treat Williams went to a prep school in Connecticut and that his school never experienced the problems that his character faces in the film. This aptly describes the believability of his performance in the film.

Sweet Ecstasy

Another Max Pecas/Elke Sommer collab is released to DVD! And wow, is this one vastly more entertaining than Daniella By Night! The dialogue is a prime example of the laughably stiff and pretentious variety that one associates with the pseudoarty skin flicks that, if Something Weird trailer compilations are to be believed, were being churned out of Europe like bunny rabbits back in the 60s. �The trick is don�t think. Once more, don�t think about not thinking. What�s life for then? Instinct.� And on and on spews the non sequitur �philosophical� blather from the cast of spoiled jet setting rich kids as bongos play hypnotically in the background. Characterization? Hahaha! Is this trash cinema heaven? It very well could be. Sadly, Sweet Ecstacy doesn�t deliver on the nude thrills but relies insead on women cupping their breasts or last second editing to make it appear like the viewer is getting something, when there is actually nothing. Have I mentioned how ravishing Elke Sommer is? I really wish more of her genre work, like They Came To Rob Las Vegas, got a proper DVD release. Again, this is not for the casual viewer but you don�t have to be quite the obsessive that the other Pecas/Sommer films demand to enjoy this one.

I Can't Believe I'm Knitting!

Fans of I Can't Believe I'm Crocheting should take note that this lackluster follow up is bland, uninspired and missing everything that had made I Can't Believe I'm Crocheting such a breakthrough hit in 2006. Melissa Leapman phones her performance in and looks perpetually bored (and a little confused) throughout. While some of the knitting techniques described may have been fresh and new in 2006, they are stale and dated in 2008. Knitting is a fast paced world of high stakes that waits for no one. Those who can...do; those who can't apparently make instructional DVDs. The hat for a toddler scene was a complete joke and had my entire knitting circle roaring with unintended laughter.

I Can't Believe I'm Crocheting!

This is not nearly as exciting as the title suggests. The plot is fairly predictable and loosely held together by some kind of 'crocheting' pretext. Despite the omnipresent threat of sharp needles, gore was nonexistent. The girl on the DVD cover with the big mouth of white teeth? Yeah, she totally does not get nekkid. I viewed this while snacking on I Can't Believe Its Not Butter spread on a freshly toasted English muffin.

No Rules Knitting at the Teen Knit Caf�

The gloves come off in this no holds barred knitting extravaganza! Be prepared to have your conventional notions of knitting completely demolished by these controversial masters of the New School. While the overall message is positive, parents of younger children should take caution and remember that this DVD will confront them with (sometimes) difficult scenes of careless needlepoint experimentation. Parents are encouraged to watch along with their offspring to provide context. The last thing you want is the lil' rugrat getting into other realms of 'experimentation' involving sharp needles. Ya dig?

Inglorious Bastards

Castellari�s WWII Nazi epic is incredibly entertaining. Despite the presence of his usual Peckinpah-esque slo mo shots, Bastids is firmly in the lighter vein of The Dirty Dozen or Kelly�s Heroes and not Cross of Iron. Cigar chomping bad a$$ Fred Williamson (one of the film�s alternate titles is G.I. Bro!) and Bo Svenson lead the lively gang of malcontents that blast their way through numerous but oddly squibless hordes of Nazi scum. Most memorably, they encounter a bunch of Nazi female soldiers bathing in the nude who immediately grab their machine guns and spray our unfortunate chaps when they realize that they are scummy Yanks! Castellari finally brings out the heavy duty squib action for the action packed finale. Along with a trailer, the extras on the movie disk include Tarantino interviewing Castellari. Or, more accurately, its Tarantino going on and on about his Bastids remake while Castellari tries to get a word or two in edgewise. I realize that Castellari�s English is not the strongest, but Tarantino and his oversized ego urgently need to be put in check.

Billionaire Boys Club

In light of the recent meltdown of the global financial markets, it seemed worthwhile to check out this old TV miniseries dealing with the over privileged and ethically challenged personality types that populate the Wall St crowd. And sure enough its not too long before Judd Nelson lays down the philosophy against the backdrop of a late 80s nightclub: "It all depends on how you look at things. There are no absolutes. There is no black and there is no white, just shades. Depending on how you look at it, black is white and white is black. That's a paradox. Its what I call paradox thinking" Shortly after this morality prospectus, there's a memorable montage that plays like an 80s version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy as Judd Nelson is outfitted for success on Rodeo Dr to the music of the Pet Shop Boys. After these highlights, however, the plot just seems to run through its predictable course. Look, I've hung out with these rich and amoral types and the network TV sanitized version of "The Lifestyle" just had me rolling my eyes and mostly fast forwarding to the predictable end of the connect-the-dots plot.

Microwave Massacre

Taken as a whole, Microwave Massacre is a cinematic train wreck. It�s ultra cheap looking and chock full of ridiculously bad acting. The pacing is laughable and more than half of the movie is obvious padding. But there are also just far too many incredibly psychotronic scenes for any self respecting trash connoisseur to easily dismiss. A hooker services a fat loser who kills her immediately after he �concludes� and then lights a cigarette while casually extolling its virtues before microwaving her remains for dinner. Another buxom blonde gets her boobs stuck in a boob shaped hole inexplicably carved into a construction site�s fence during lunch time. An old woman is subdued with a bread roll. And so on. There is no rhyme or reason to any of this insanity and it just continues until the film ends. As a bonus (or carrot and stick, if you prefer) the movie features some very attractive topless women! Have your remote handy to fast forward through the aforementioned padding and enjoy the ride.

Frankenstein's Bloody Terror

This entry in the El Hombre Locos series is bound to disappoint fans of some of the more lurid entries. For much of its running time, the plot just limps along as a tepid melodrama, albeit one with cool swinging 70s gothic atmospherics. Yes, this is one of those older horrors where the characters spend a lot of time wandering around old castles while spooky music cues play in the background. Things pick up at the end but it�s a case of too little too late by then. A definite plus for the film are the very attractive female leads, but alas, in this presumably Americanized version (released by Al Adamson�s Independent-International Releasing), there is no nudity to speak of. Overall, the production value is quite high although there are some grating and distracting moments of very amateurish lighting effects. Finally, there are lycanthropes and vampires in the film but no Frankenstein monsters, so the English title is a misnomer. Its Spanish title translates as simply �The Mark of the Werewolf� so where Frankenstein suddenly got involved is anyone�s guess.

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein

Seeing the floating head of Vincent Price introduce the opening sequence to this old Canadian TV children's show just opened a floodgate for childhood memories of early morning TV!! The show basically consisted of a series of vaguely related skits showcasing the cast of horror favorites that included Vincent Price himself, the Count, a gigantic sized Igor, Grizelda the cooking show witch, and my personal fave, the groovy and psychedelic DJ Wolfman! On the subject of the latter character, fans of cheesy 70s light and sound shows NEED to check out some of the werewolf segments for the closest thing to a drug trip ever available on Canadian children's TV programming. While the show featured almost the whole pantheon of cinematic monsters, it was not scary at all and mostly consisted of goofy humor. In fact, SCTV would later create a memorable parody. Not so sure I'd recommend this to people who didn't grow up with it during its original run, but for those who did, reliving this odd duck from the past should be a fun treat. Now where's the Rocket Robin Hood DVD?

Mystics in Bali

Another fun ultra low budget Indonesian oddity from the weirdos at Mondo Macabro. While it has the regular caveats of Indonesian exploitation (prudish lack of nudity and ultra cheap effects), the sheer energy and jaw dropping spectacle (people who've seen it know what I'm talking about) results in a highly desirable "anything can happen" viewing vibe.

Plan Colombia: Cashing in on the Drug War Failure

For those already familiar with the expensive and ineffectual failure that is the American �War on Drugs�, this hour long documentary reveals no real new insights. However, it is unique and informative in the sense that it focuses specifically on the effect of American drug policy on Columbia and its inhabitants. Such subject matter is virtually nonexistent in American mainstream journalism. It explores not only the charges that the drug war has become another subsidy to the military industrial complex but also puts forth an argument that America�s drug eradication efforts are inherently compromised by its desire to admit Columbia into NAFTA as well as control Columba�s not insubstantial oil reserves. And as is typical, the fledgling peasant farmers bear the brunt of the misguided policy�s side effects, financial and health related. Interviews with anti-war advocates and human rights activists are balanced with those of gov�t officials. Frustratingly, the vague non-answers that these officials give seem to signal that the US govt doesn�t think that any large number of people will ever watch this doc. William Brownsfield, the Dept of State spokeman, in particular, quite blatantly reads from a set of cue cards on his desk and also exhibits some very odd mannerisms. Ironically, he gets easier to digest as the viewer becomes less sober.

Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll

Another eyeball themed giallo, this time from Spain and starring El Hombre Lobo, Paul Naschy. Naschy plays an ex-con with a dark past that is a very similar character to his career defining role: "Everytime I hug a woman, I feel the desire to kill her. Everyone sees a murderer in me, a beast". But his luck seemingly takes a turn for the better when he finds himself at the center of the crude male sexual fantasy of the loner coming into town and finding a job at a house where three adult sisters live. Alas, the actresses playing them aren't too attractive but the movie establishes a nice trashy tone in scenes such as Naschy ogling the sisters' bodies as they tend to his wounds after an impromptu fight. Soon enough, he beds them all but unfortunately paradise is lost when local women start showing up dead and with their eyeballs gauged out. Naschy, being a stranger, arouses the police's suspicion and the audience begins to learn of his dark past through hokey yet somewhat trippy flashbacks. Blue Eyes is a fairly entertaining mid tier giallo. The direction is initially quite shoddy (lack of a sturdy tripod, camera shadows) but actually improves as the movie progresses. There is murder by meat cleaver and pitchfork and some nice stylistic flourishes like arterial blood spray across the screen and some cool side lighting. The score is definitely generic library music and often feels incongruous to the onscreen action.

Up the Down Staircase

The title refers to going the wrong way on a designated school stairwell and serves as a rather hamfisted metaphor for the struggles of the lead Mia Farrowesque female teacher. Coming 12 years after the Blackboard Jungle, changes in the movie�s composition reflected changes in American society at the time. The teacher is now female and her class has more racial minorities and also includes female students who were conspicuously missing from the earlier Blackboard Jungle. The opening credits play over location footage of NYC ghettos that would become more familiar to subsequent generations of urban moviegoers than the stylized West Side Story look of Blackboard Jungle. But some things stay the same: the school administration is still indifferent and characterized by a vice principal more concerned with process and procedure, a guidance counselor more interested in her filing systems than all else and a librarian obsessively bent on extracting the overdue fee from a student that had attempted suicide(!). The movie has a very idealistic 60s individual versus a vast and uncaring bureaucracy theme. The students are presented as more goofily than criminally disobedient and largely victims of larger social inequities. The lead is a na�ve new teacher but one with a healthy skepticism of bureaucratic injustice. The attractive co-teacher in this case is a totally pretentious writer wannabee twat who savagely critiques the love letter he got from a student right in front of her! This movie is definitely a product of its time, slow moving and episodic in nature but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Freedom Writers

This movie was sold as a more intelligent version of the Dangerous Minds theme and had the advantage of being based on true events rather than the fevered cliché’d imagination of some hack Hollywood screenwriter. To its credit, it does actually expose the audience to the more prurient aspects of ghetto life like drive bys and hold ups. And yet it becomes very obvious that this movie was created by white people for mainly white people when the soundtrack veers to the decidedly un-ghetto stylings of Digable Planets! The main problem with Freedom Writers is that, although it is based on a true story, the rendering of that story feels much like a school report about an event. It highlight the most favorable aspects and discounts any dark or even ambiguous aspects. It lacks a critical self reflection that renders it superficial and uninvolving. Perhaps by more closely following what actually happened, the dramatic arc is weak and barely existent. Thus it just unfolds without any real intrigue to the audience beside trite and obvious emotional manipulation.

Dangerous Minds

Wow, was I ever let down by this Simpson/Brukheimer production. This ultra sappy flick tries to be everything; musical, comedy, �inspirational� drama, but it all just cancels out into banal tedium by the end credits. The kids are nothing more than caricatures rather than really reflective of their environment. And then there�s Michelle Pfeiffer as the condescending white person that has come to bring civilization to the inner city savages. The kids often tell her that she �just don�t understand� but the problem is that not only she doesn�t, but the audience and very likely the screenwriter also do not. Nor do the kids themselves understand. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS! Or cares in the end. Notably, the movie is absent a love interest for Pfieffer and her only friend among the teachers is a chubby lovable balding guy with whom there is not a whiff of sexual tension. Finally, the fact that this was directed by the same guy who had earlier made The Boys of St Vincent is proof positive of the artistically atrophying nature of Hollywood.

To Sir, with Love

"So, you are the new lamb for the slaughter? Or should I say black sheep?" Flipping the racial conventions of the classroom film on its head, Poitier is the black teacher teaching a room full of low income white kids in a London ghetto neighborhood. Given the year this was made, the antics of the kids are laughably tame: making noises, slamming doors and sawing off the legs of a desk. Nevertheless, Poitier gets enraged: "Only a filthy sl*t would have done something like this" and so he tries to teach them manners because "No man likes a sl*t for too long". He also has words for the boys but minus the same colorful language! This is all punctuated by an amazing number of close-ups of Poitier squinting his eyes disapprovingly. Also similar to movies of that time, To Sir feels very stagey and theatrical in frame composition and the 2 dimensional movements of the actors within the frame. In light of the broader racial dynamics of that era, it was interesting to see the moviemakers develop several potential love interests for the black teacher character with both the (expected) hot coteacher but also with some of his students(!). The latter fizzles out and culminates in the teacher and one of the students dancing at a school dance: firstly, she asks him to dance and then they proceed to barely touch each other as they dance. Eurocult fans will also appreciate the presence of a very young looking Susy Kendall in the cast!

Stand and Deliver

Another classroom based picture that is based on a true story, Stand And Deliver is one of the stronger entries in the genre. Former Miami Vice star Edward James Olmos, sporting a prosthetic bald head plus combover, plays a former corporate worker turned math teacher to a class of troubled Hispanic students. What really stands out in Stand And Deliver (besides Olmos� strong and completely immersive performance) is that the movie revolves around the teaching of mathematics, instead of history or some vaguely designed social studies lesson plan. Thus, viewers inclined to cynicism are spared the cheap allegorical device of having the lesson plans parallel the main plot�s dramatic conflicts. This classroom film is a notable (and rare) instance of where both the students and teacher have the same racial background, making Stand And Deliver refreshingly free of the somewhat racist colonialist subtext that is typical for the genre. The movie dates itself with its very 80s sounding soundtrack and fashion choices like Lou Diamond Philips� hairnet and khakis but these are mere quibbles.

Beast with a Gun

This has attained some notoriety for being the movie that Bridget Fonda and Robert DeNiro watch while getting high in Tarantino's Jackie Brown. Helmut Berger delivers an incredibly intense performance as the leader of a gang of jail escapees that subsequently embark on a wild and nonstop crime spree. His character spends the entire movie threatening people, beating them up, or having sex with them (or some unholy combination of all three). There's also hints of sexual ambiguity to him which is always quite rare for 70s Italian genre pictures. Along with Berger, an often topless Marissa Mell plays a victim turned sex toy and genre stalwart Richard Harrison is the detective engaged in a cat and mouse game to capture the escapees. Fortunately for us, lots of violent mayhem happens before the final confrontation. And its scored with a very cool electronic synth score to boot!

Dead Poets Society

This poignant film is supported by both the brilliantly lyrical direction and camera eye of director Peter Weir and the brilliant performances of the leads. Its also a powerfully (and powerfully asexual) sample of Robin Williams' talent before he got to be too "Robin Williams" in later roles. Unlike other and lesser classroom films, DPS never feels overtly manipulative or contrived. That's not too say that it isn't manipulative but that the manipulatory devices are more expertly concealed and naturally fitted into the narrative. Even hardened cynics like myself find themselves tearing up at key moments. Oh captain, my captain. DPS could make for an interesting double feature with Rushmore or perhaps Class.

The Substitute/The Substitute 3

Like The Principal, this school in peril genre pick is much more action movie oriented than it is about making a social statement like Lean on Me or Freedom Writers. A tired looking Tom Berenger sluggishly karate chops his way through a whole bunch of bad guys and makes one drug dealer literally crap his pants. The well worn clich� of the modern school as a �war zone� works in The Substitute because of the self-awareness on the part of the makers to its own ostensibly ridiculous premise. The supporting cast includes William Forsythe, Luis Gusman and a hilarious bit role featuring a competing mercenary who comes off like an archetypal 80s movie a$$hole with slicked back hair and a pastel Miami Vice wardrobe. But the important question is does Berenger get through to the kids? The answer to that is best symbolized by the awkward ghetto handshake he does with one of the black kids in the final act. Skipping the sequel, the flip side on this DVD has Treat Williams stepping into the Berenger role for the third installment. Clearly looking to add a fresh spin to the formula, the third Substitute is set in a college where a bunch of football players are using and dealing steroids. I never realized how easy it was for ex mercenaries to pretend to be professors but apparently Treat is one smooth cat. For a straight to DVD feature, Sub 3 is a nice little low budget time waster with some choice humorous moments, some intentional some not.

Wizard of Gore

I�m not a big fan of the original HG Lewis movie, but I thought this remake was disappointing. The remake suffers from flat cinematography, cheesy sets and off-kilter camera angles and a general lifelessness to most of the scenes that is further compromised by the drab and unimaginative score. Frustratingly, the new script emphasizes the Pardue character over the far more interesting Montag, played very memorably by the always interesting Glover. His performance was one of the few highlights as Bijou Philips is essentially wasted and Jeffrey Combs� cameo as a creepy Rob Zombie lookalike was rather meh. It was during the supposedly �trippy� hotel room scene between Pardue and one of the Suicide Girls where it really hit home to me how much of the film�s potential was wasted. This could have been a gory mind f@ck of a movie dealing with alternate realities that uses HG Lewis as just a starting point. But it falls far far short of anything even remotely like that. Were there any upsides? Yes. Gore. Bucketloads. And boobs. Lots and lots of Suicide Girls� boobs.

Gridlock'd

This is essentially a black and white buddy pic where the buddies happen to be junkies trying to get clean. The movies is full of chases and gunfights that are held together by an entertaining but fairly predictable plot. The presence of Roth and the NF�s capsule description seem to suggest a potential dark satire of government bureaucracy and the hypocrisy of the nation�s drug war but the actual film is more Hollywood entertainment than anything subversive. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Both Roth and Shukar turn in solid performers and this entertaining gem deserves to be rediscovered by more peeps now that its available to watch instantly.

Blackboard Jungle

The very first and original �school in peril� film was a very savvy move by Hollywood producers in bringing the popular Juvenile Deliquent genre (i.e. The Wild One and scores of B pictures) fully into the classroom. This gave TBJ a sheen of seriousness and hence broadened the potential film audience well beyond the core of JD fans. It even starts with an authoritative text warning about the troubled state of the youth in 1955 and thus justifying this film as a sort of fictional documentary with surely no prurient motives whatsoever. This movie also set the template for almost all the subsequent movies and establishes clich�s and conventions that carried on into all the subsequent movies in one or usually more ways. These include the cynical co-teachers carrying on despairing conversations in the teachers� lounge; the hot other teacher as potential romantic interest; an indifferent school administration just trying to maintain order above everything else including education. Lastly, it begins with the teacher walking to school and confronting wayward students engaged in bad activites like headstands, drinking pop and jitterbug dancing. Subsequent movies in this genre would have similar opening scenes that reflected the increasingly serious deviant activities of teenagers over time. The protagonist of TBJ is a hyper idealistic recent graduate with a military background and a pregnant blonde Judy Cleaver-esque wife. Blackboard Jungle does distinguish itself from the pack(beyond being the first) in the very convincing transformation of the teacher from simply trying to control and corral the students to actually trying and connecting to them by film�s end. Unfortunately, in virtually all the subsequent films, such transformations only seemed contrived and tacked on. The movie also features a very young Sidney Poitier as a wayward but smart �street punk�, and the sole black actor in the film. Poitier would later become the teacher himself in To Sir With Love.

The Monkey Hustle

�You got to know the moves for a scam to go smooth�. Director Arthur Marks was behind the helms of several less well known but solidly entertaining blaxploitation movies like Detroit 9000 and Bucktown. Monkey Hustle is a ghetto comedy with some light action elements and is similar in tone to other later stage AIP blaxploitation movies like Friday Foster. By 1976, the gritty and violent blaxploitation formula had exhausted its box office appeal and AIP and other studios made an unsuccessful attempt to revive the genre by injecting lighter elements like comedy. The film�s positives include a solid performance from the ever reliable Yaphet Kotto, wonderful location footage of NYC, and a fairly engaging and whimsical plot. Fans of Rudy Ray Moore should be aware that his role in this is limited and also incredibly restrained compared to the likes of Avenging Disco Godfather and Dolemite.

Arguing the World

The most interesting aspect of this documentary was its focus on the old liberalism that predated the more widely known late 60s variant. Rather than losing focus or treading into the overly familiar documentary territory of the hippie movement, the makers kept their focus on how the changing political and social climates were influenced and, in turn, influenced the subjects of the documentary. This gave a more in depth context to the resistance to the counterculture that happened during that tumultuous time. Despite the interesting historical perspective, the 4 men profiled had very little of interest to say in their respective interviews. A more critical examination of their ideas, particularly of neoconservatism, would have been desired. Unfortunately, the shelf life of this documentary is very limited because it was produced in 1998 and thus cannot examine neoconservatism through the prism of its arguably most significant real world influence; namely the doctrine of preemptive warfare and the Iraq invasion.

Superbeast

This letterboxed MGM production is a rare find! But be forewarned; the plot is a rip off of the Dr Moreau mythology and the resulting film is resoundingly average, even for its time, and quite rightfully has not attained any cult cache. But there are several positives to be noted including the very cool spacey soundtrack composed mainly with flute. It helps make the film, largely composed of the female lead's endless search scenes, far more tolerable. While the FX is crudely competent, there is a shocking disembowelment scene early on in the movie that is very graphic. There are also some cheesy dream sequences, the 70s variant of which I'm particularly a sucker for. An unremarkable 70s genre pic that still manages to be an entertaining time waster.

Action: The Complete Series

"Beautiful breasts. They can turn a 13 year old boy into a 13 year old man." So says Jay Mohr playing a cocky Hollywood megaproducer looking to score a comeback after a big budget box office failure. And he doesn't like being touched. By anyone. This very darkly cynical and sarcastic series (especially considering it was on network TV) explores his adventures in getting that movie made. Along for the ride; a hooker with a heart of gold turned girlfriend/script advisor; a Eurotrash maitre-d, bullied personal assistant and a former Hollywood pretty boy supposedly in rehab among many others. Several episodes tackle societal themes in a very irreverent and cynical manner; movie, video game violence hypocrisy; racism (against a white bird) and Hollywood sexism ("Explosions boobs explosions. It used to be boobs explosions boobs but women have advanced a long way"). The main story is unfolds over the 13 episodes so it really needs to be viewed in chronological order. Not for the easily offended or overly earnest.

Maniac Cop

William Lustig is forever known as bringing the wonderfully twisted and uber sleazy Maniac to the grindhouse screens of the early 80s. The similarly titled Maniac Cop does not reach the same level of notoriety but it has quite an interesting concept and is entertaining to boot. The blood in this movie is that overtly bright stuff you typically see in low budget genre stuff from the 70s. It might be present here due to budget limitations or it just might be Lustig�s sly way of paying homage to his Italian cinematic heroes like Argento, who�s slick and roving camera are clearly an influence. Who�s to say and hell, with the always entertaining Bruce Campbell starring, you can be rest assured that there is good genre entertainment to be had. The ending is lackluster and flat but the ride up to then is worth the price of admission.

Keoma

Castellari seems to be aiming for the mythic territory of Peckinpah and Leone with his late to the party spaghetti western but misses the mark. Despite the huge bad-a$$ factor Nero brings to the table, the story/characters are just not strong enough. Like most of Castellari�s films, Keoma meanders quite a bit in the middle act. Regular Eurocult viewers will also notice the many familiar voices used in the English dub from the giallo and poliziotteschi genres, which while adding a hilarious incongruity to the viewing, points to the Italian dub as being more preferable. There are some truly beautiful compositions and sequences in this movie but they aren�t served too well by the melodramatic and mostly clich�d plot. While I�m normally a big fan of the DeAngelis brothers� soundtracks, this is perhaps their worst outing: repetitive and grating.

The Deadly Spawn

A low budget 80s send up of the low budget creature features of the 50s. An alien creature crashlands in a wilderness area adjacent to a small town and takes up residence in the cellar of a house. From its lair, it picks off characters who venture into the cellar whilst taking a break from the endless bouts of banal and ultimately pointless dialogue occurring on the main living floors. Topics of discussion include pot luck dinners, teenage love and porcelain giraffes. Its pretty obvious that much of it is simply to pad out the film�s running time. The (very slow moving) alien is a triumph of pre-CGI mechanical prosthetics and resembles a cross between the creatures from Alien and Little Shop of Horrors. The only really interesting character is the little kid while everyone else is pretty useless and amount to little more than alien food. For viewers with a low tolerance for slow moving talky scenes, you can safely skip to the last 20 minutes when the film finally shifts into action. The very last scene had me in stitches with laughter.

Mona Lisa Smile

This is the epitome of the Hollywood vanity project that this genre can devolve into when the right(i.e. wrong) Hollywood superego is mixed into the formula. It is pat, preachy, simplistic and (surprise!) historically inaccurate. Like most other self-important message movies coming out of modern Hollywood, I only got through it by focusing on the cinematography and being in wonder at how such lovely images were so carefully assembled for such narrative dross. It wouldn't be enough for Julia Roberts to simply save a classroom full of black children: oh no, she set out to do nothing less than enlighten the entire cold and unfeeling East Coast elite of the 50s to freaking art appreciation!! Oh and yes, Julia Roberts has a big white smile! Har har! How clever! Its all very connect the dots and spritzes to the finish line in a fake flourish of sound and fury signifying nothing. If one can turn their brain off and try to forget that Roberts is actually demon spawn of purely malevolent intent, than the narrative is mildly engaging. It also does showcase a lot of young Hollywood female talent that have gone on to bigger (and better) things. I would cut it some slack for these points if it wasn't so blatantly self important and preachy. But it is and so I don't.

The Principal

James Belushi is the hard drinkin', volatile temper havin', ex-wife attorney's Porsche smashin' "Joe Six Pack" white guy teacher put in charge of an inner city school. Of course the school has become ravaged by the strangely unique 80s style Hollywood street gangs that look like they were pulled straight out of Michael Jackson's Beat It video and who busy themselves selling pre-rolled marijuana cigarettes and a Skittles spectrum of colorful pills in hilariously cheesy music video style montages. The movie addresses the intriguing question of whether an Average Joe can tame America's innercity youth with some good ole fashioned whoop-a$$. Into this potentially racist set up, the cast injects a plethora of great 80s faces including Michael Wright, KellyJo Minter, and Rae Dawn Chong as the potentially awkward multiracial love interest. And perhaps most notably Louis Gossett Jr as the tough no nonsense school coach/disciplinary officer who shows the naive newbie the ropes yet becomes oddly ineffectual in the climax. 'Cause this flick is all the triumph of the Average Joe, baby!. And yet this movie works by simply not taking itself seriously (in a genre plagued by ridiculous pretensions) and being entertaining as hell. Director Cain (of Young Guns fame) keeps the action brisk, injects some great sight gag comedy and delivers on the Hollywood glossy look of 1987.

Virgins from Hell: Special Edition

Virgins From Hell is not a well made film but it is a fun film. Somehow, the comically bad fighting scenes (some of these girls are sooo clearly not trying) and (very) tame sex/torture scenes seem to mesh perfectly with the freakishly outlandish "plot", wooden acting and hilariously manic English dubbing. Jess Franco seems to be an influence on the film makers, but even some of Uncle Jess's worst output was much more polished than this. At the very least, the sheer number of genres thrown in the stew here is rather impressive. And the nonsense moves along at a quick pace making this is a decent time waster overall. The major drawback is, that for an exploitation movie of this ilk from 1987, I was expecting copious nudity. But what I got was goose egg, and not even a breast shaped goose egg. Nada. Zilch. Those Indonesian film censors need to lighten up already. This creates a most unwelcome decaffeinated coffee / O'Doul's beer vibe to the show. In the complete absence of TnA, the movie does get tedious at times so keep the FF button on your remote handy. Perhaps even more interesting than the movie itself is a dense and informative essay on the Women In Prison genre including in the Special Features. The lengthy essay covers the history of the genre from 1922(!) to the present day and I learned tidbits like that famous cult director Edgar G. Ulmer had worked in the genre.

The Skull

Ahhh, this is just what the doctor ordered. The Skull, an Amicus production of an original Robert Bloch story, is a great palette cleanser for those of us with diets high in saturated Euro-sleaze. And I even didn't have to leave the confines of the genre world to do so! This is classy British horror with high production values and acting talent. The plot, which centers around an exploitation staple, namely the Marquis De Sade, has some distinctly Kafkaesque overtones and is buoyed by strong performances from Lee and a white-gloved Cushing, who plays a character fighting against a descent into homicidal madness. And yes, as other have commented, the strings on the "floating" skull are quite obvious. But c'mon, give this 1965 B picture some slack. They did not have the luxury of CGI erasers back then. It is a minor aberration in a movie that otherwise has stellar production quality which often had me thinking of Mario Bava's work

Son of Frankenstein / Ghost of Frankenstein

Son of Frankenstein: Another solid Universal horror from the late 30s. Visually, the movie delivers with impressive production design most noticeable in the stunning sets and matte painting backdrops. The plot is rather predictable and has Basil Rathbone as the Frankenstein heir who picks up on his father�s work with equally disastrous results. The novelty in this sequel comes from the explanded role of Bela Lugosi�s Ygor character who is now an evil opportunist hellbent on using the revived monster to exact revenge on his mortal enemies. Rathbone brings a distinctly British approach to his role (despite the character�s Frankenstein name) and the screenplay provides a lot of hilarious (but nonetheless entertaining) clich�s of the old fashioned lone scientist obsessed with besting and controlling the awesome forces of nature! But the highlight for me was another chance to see the horror legend pairing of Lugosi and Karloff acting together. They can truly disappear into and inhabit their roles and are an absolute delight.

The Wanderers

This coming of age story set in 60s NYC seems to be influenced by both American Graffiti (narrative) and 70s era Scorsese (cinematography). Nothing really too original here as you have such well worn storylines as 2 friends chasing after the same girl or references to the racial conflicts of that era, but the end result is very watchable and The Wanderers is an excellent addition to the genre The performances are all very solid and the cast includes a very young looking and future Wiseguy Ken Wahl. For me, however, the main star of the movie is Micheal Chapman�s cinematography. Having lensed Taxi Driver a few years back and poised to start Raging Bull right after this film, he is largely responsible for the Scorsese feel here. The movie is replete with dramatic usages of smoke and shadow and the central football game seems to visually anticipate the memorable boxing scenes in Raging Bull. Some very exciting handheld action also really helped to suck me into the narrative. I don�t know if its director Kaufman�s influence, but the film might have been helped with a little less polish and a little more grit in the movie�s plot and visuals, but that could just be my Scorsese addiction talkin�.

13 Tzameti

"I am always luckier when I go against logic" A brutal and gutwrenching slice of modern noir that pays homage to the classics of Hitchcock, Chabrol, Clouzot, etc but all the while feeling very fresh and unpredictable. This is the kind of film that Hollywood just can't seem to make anymore: there is no real female lead or tacked on romantic entanglement, no pointless backstory and no annoyingly distracting CGI/film speed manipulation/whoosh SFX "style"...None of that. It introduces a character (who sort of looks like James Franco from the Spider Man movies) that the audience can sympathize and identify with and then takes him (and us) on a harrowing journey into a crazy underwold of danger and fast money. This movie is also full of ugly and incredibly tough looking Eastern European dudes that this viewer really appreciates in a time when too many villains are unconvincing pretty boys. The plot is sparse, unencumbered with extraneous detail and builds up to a sustained level of tension that seems rare in recent thrillers. Highly recommended.

Playgirls and the Vampire

I�m a big sucker for these types of movies where scantily clad showgirls or models are stranded in some dangerous and creepy place fending off a psychosexual menace. While Playgirls doesn�t fully live up to its sleazy potential (one has to wait until the 70s before Eurocult filmmakers really explored that tangent), it does deliver with the expected and welcome dosage of nubile women wandering around a dark and foreboding castle in their all important see through negligees (not too mention some very brief outright topless scenes). In between the relatively tame sexploitation and horror elements, there is quite a bit of screen time where frankly not much happens. There is also some unintentional humor from the cast knocking into obviously fake �concrete� tombs that adds a kitschy charm. Overall, I would recommend Horrors of Spider Island or Bloody Pit of Horror to viewers before this, but it�s an otherwise nice timewaster for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

The Beast in Space: Unrated

Let me immediately qualify my 4 star rating for this improbable cinematic travesty: I love 70s Euro sleaze and can overlook a lot of conventional (and sensible) critical elements because of that love. Beast in Space is "directed" by Alfonso Brescia, who's other genre contributions in the gialli and Star Wars rip off genres are abominations that require altered states of mind to even begin approaching. He is truly one of the worst hacks to have ever worked in Italian cinema, period. Like his other movies, Beast in Space has a nonsensical plot, pathetic F/X, bad acting, sets borrowed from other films, bad and wildly inconsistent pacing; just name any aspect of filmmaking and I can assure you that Brescia has f'ed it up. But Beast in Space is so "out there" and full of so many WTF moments, that it ends up becoming a highly memorable chapter in 70s Italian exploitation by sheer accident. It helps to have seen the original La Bete (as this is an unofficial sequel) to fully appreciate the insanity of what Brescia has managed to mis-accomplish. But even then, our mere human brains cannot and probably will never fully be able to fully decipher this cinematic upchuck. It might be even too dangerous to try. So keeping that in mind, grab a glass or two of "Uranus Milk" and prepare yourself to journey with a sleazy and horny crew of self absorbed cretins as they face gratuitous horse sex, monotonous softcore humping, giant crazy robots and The Beast himself in their quest to find a rare space mineral.

The Cell

The Cell is what you get when you give a music video director some good money and J Lo and tell him �Go do David Lynch!�. The end result is never pretty, even if it is pretty looking. But when all the dream imagery garnishing is stripped away, The Cell is nothing more than a simple damsel in distress story, just like the old serials of the 1930s. Instead of our damsel being tied to the railroad tracks by a villain with a greasy mustache and a black top hat, The Cell has our damsel locked in a slowly filling water tank. Will our heroes untangle the mystery of the serial killer�s twisted mind with some goofy pseudo science dream state contraption and save the damsel before it�s too late?? This is mainstream studio product, what�s your guess? And let�s talk about the heralded dream like imagery. Anyone with a passing knowledge of dreams or who has just had a dream at some point will know that the dream world is nothing like the literal, logical and linear one presented in The Cell. Its about as convincing as the chemistry between JLo and Vaughn. That is to say, its not and there isn't any. Gastem is no Bunuel. He�s certainly not Jodorowsky. He�s not Lynch, Harrington, Ophuls, Anger�I can go on and on with the name dropping of talented filmmakers who can actually do dream imagery. And when we as the audience plead to have our mind blown by this big budget Hollyweird, instead we get creepy kids and freaking JLo on horseback. 2 stars for pretty pictures.

Imaginary Witness: Hollywood and the Holocaust

This is a fascinating topic for a documentary and its relevance is very well presented in the early part: The perception of the Holocaust for the generations that came after WWII will likely be almost entirely informed by what is presented in the movies. The difficulty and relevance of how this tragic and epic historical moment could even be filmed and the ethical dilemmas of even approaching such a harrowing topic are explored with some depth. As well, the politics and commercial influences that informed the major studios during the 1930s and 40s are addressed. Unfortunately, I was hoping for a little more critical distance from the current Hollywood establishment by the documentary filmmakers, in particular wrt Schindler's List. While some of the criticisms of this film are mentioned in brief passing, they are left largely unexamined. The interview with Spielberg himself felt more like it was from a DVD extra than a serious documentary, imo. Overall, I would recommend this documentary and one can even elucidate further meaning by reading in between the lines and thinking about how the documentary was made and structured.

The Mummy

This is the original Universal classic that paved the way for all the subsequent mummy films, notably the British ones starring Christopher Lee from Hammer Studios and the more familiar modern re-imagining in the hands of CGI overdose victim Stephen Sommers and starring the innocuous Brendan Fraser. The actual mummy has a limited screen presence in this first of the series which is instead more of a rumination on the timeless nature of both love and the consequences of criminal acts made in its name. Although it is told through a decidedly pulp adventure lens. Speaking of lenses, Karl Freund has a great eye for cinematography and the movie is artfully lit with the B&W picture looking just fantastic. The close up fullscreen image of Karloffs eyes is haunting and timeless. For me, the old Universal horrors have aged nicely and have a distinct feel to them that is charming and entertaining. I cut them some slack for the large amount of dialogue scenes that are presented more in a static theatrical manner than some of its more cinematic counterparts of the time. Also, the resurrected Imhotep, brought to life by Karloffs iconic performance, mysteriously speaks perfect English and is apparently unfazed by any of the modern technologies around him. But these are minor quibbles and dont detract from my recommendation of this film as a highlight of 1930s Hollywood filmmaking when they still had original ideas to film!

Werewolf of London

I appreciate that when approaching the old Universal horrors, one can't necessarily critique them through modern eyes. However, Werewolf in London was just about undone by the old English mannerisms of its main characters. "I say ole chap, bout rather due for a little shave are we?" could have very well been a quote from the films dialogue. Instead of scary or atmospheric, the werewolf here is simply 'unseemly' and the expression on the protagonist's face when he learns of the first murder hes committed is, and I kid you not, like someone had served him tea without milk! How positively barbaric. If you're in the mood for one of the old Universal horrors, I'd recommend one of the more famous titles. Otherwise, this can be enjoyed to a certain extent as a largely unintentional comedy of manners.

Hitman

"I don't know if it's the drugs or you're usually this inept" A line of dialogue from this video game adaptation? Or the question I repeatedly yelled at the TV for the entire duration of this limp action turd. Timothy Olyphant is just too pretty to be any kind of bad a$$. That's the first problem. A second problem came from the inclusion such grating Hollywood cliches as having the hitman take the love interest to dinner, then excusing himself to go kill someone and returning in time to make an awkward joke. I thought that the video game this was based on had a loner style hitman? Yet the makers didn't have the artistic integrity to have faith in that concept and threw in a romantic subplot completely out of left field. Did I just bring up artistic integrity in a review for a movie inspired by a video game? It must be the drugs.

Girl 27

Ultimately, this documentary becomes a powerfully emotional recount of a rape scandal that came and went in the big studio dominated Hollywood of the late 1930s. The historical context of that time is recounted through a montage of well chosen shots from finished films and some remarkable behind the scenes footage and stills from that era. David Stenn produces a pretty damning case against MGM and the alleged rapist that worked for them through documented evidence and expert interviews, as well as from accounts by the children of some of the deceased players involved. However, the centerpiece of the film comes when the victim Patricia Douglas is located and reluctantly agrees to tell her tale and the effect that MGM's successful hush campaign had on her subsequent life and family. The fascination of this forgotten and sordid history is magnified by a pair of stark contrasts; that between the illusion and reality of the nation's dream factory and of the screen image of the American women versus her changing role in the larger society.

Manda Bala

This documentary is about the remarkable manner in which a set of diverse Brazilians have adapted to the extremely corrupt and violent environment that they inhabit. While there is some discussion of Brazil's corrupt history and the systemic corruption of their election process via bribery ("I give you 1 shoe now, if I win you get the other shoe"), the focus is more on the stories of the interviewees themselves. Most memorable for me were the female kidnapping survivor and the self-taught (?) plastic surgeon. The kidnapping survivor described her horrifying ordeal in a startlingly matter of fact manner without any of the cliched "cue tears" type of moments you'd expect from an American for far far less trauma. The plastic surgeon specialized in ear reconstruction and had an extremely busy practice due to the popularity of sending slices of ears to victim's families amongst the kidnappers of Brazil. It was pretty surreal to listen to him wax eloquent about the intricacies of the human ear as well as the pride and wealth that he enjoyed from his skill. The documentary also contains graphic scenes of ear surgery and also some unsettling actual footage from ransom videos sent to families. These criminals play for keeps and more sensitive viewers may find these scenes upsetting.

Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals

Joe D'Amato: director, cinematographer, shrewd mathematician. By 1977, his financially successful Emanuelle series was growing stale. What to do? Shelve it and move on? Or realize that Emanuelle + cannibals = box office gold. Joe started with Emanuelle and subtracted the gorgeous location shooting and the jet set decadence, and then added a cheap jungle locale plus stock wildlife footage. What was left? Surplus softcore T&A and enough money to pay for the cheap prosthetics and native extras needed to film all the cliches of the popular cannibal genre: disembowelment, castration (that slow mo is just Joe being an artist!) but thankfully no actual animal killing for Joe. Does it succeed? Not entirely when judged by conventional standards but why would anyone judge a D'Amato flick rationally? The movie is just one long lead up to an unforgettable and indelible image: A completely naked Laura Gemser blowing away cannibals with a big a$$ rifle. That's all it needs.

Uzumaki

This film seemed like a more abstract riff on the Body Snatchers theme and concerned an evil force that is unsettling precisely because its intentions are obscure and unclear. Its artfully directed and atmospheric, moving along at a thoughtful pace that is interrupted with sudden jolts of effective and unsettling graphic gore. I wonder if I am the only one who got distracted and depressed by thoughts of how the inevitable American remake will screw up the mystery and ambiguity achieved here? The DVD transfer has clear sound but the picture has a muddy green tint and poor contrast.

Kiss Me, Monster

The glamorous duo of Jesus Franco's female superspies returns for another convoluted and confusing adventure. This one is about an evil scientist who is making artificial humans, ummm, or something. Anyhow, the plot isn't really the important part in a Jesus Franco movie. Nor are the traditional definitions of good or bad filmmaking. For example, Uncle Jess likes to plop gratuitous saxophone performances in the middle of the story but then either forgets or doesn't bother to tell his actors to at least pretend to press the keys on the saxophone while the soundtrack is playing complicated saxophone medleys. At about the halfway point I got completely lost but did manage to hang in and note a brief torture scene near the end that foreshadowed what would become a staple of Franco's much racier movies in the 70s. This one was the weaker of the two Red Lips movies for me. However, there is a 20 minute interview with Franco in the Extras that was actually far more interesting than the film. Franco gives wildly entertaining interviews and he was in top form here talking about everything from good and bad porn to being the scorn of the Spanish Catholic church along with Luis Bunuel back in the 60s.

Two Undercover Angels

"Men love dumb women and that is the most important thing to me" says Rossana Yanni, one half of the female super spy team known as Red Lips. Fiery redhead and Jess Franco regular Janine Reynaud plays the other half. This pop art inspired film was likely produced to cash in on the popularity of Modesty Blaise. I prefer its alternate and more alluring title, Sadisterotica. Numerous models and dancers have begun disappearing all over town and the Red Lips swing into action armed with a huge closet full of modish and colorful 60s fashions. A hairy wolfman creature named Morpho kidnaps one of the models right at the start of the film and before a Peter Lorre lookalike named Napoleon Bonaparte can spill what he knows he has an unfortunate encounter with a mysterious stranger wearing an eye patch. Its all gets needlessly convoluted because the clues pointing to the kidnapper(s) are very hard to ignore. But as the saying goes, it's the journey and not the destination. A completely gratuitous topless dancing scene got me mentally in a good place for a subsequent poison gas scene filmed simply by blurring the camera's focus. Welcome to the cinema of Jesus Franco. Be sure to catch the interview with the Eurocult legend in the Extras

Sister Emanuelle

"C'mon you little wh0re. Show me what they teach you in this place!" One of the Black Emanuelle movies that was neither directed by Joe D'Amato nor scored by Nico Fidenco. Stelvio Cipriani handles the score which is a grittier and less whimsical version of Fidenco's. In this, a very special episode of Black Emanuelle, Emanuelle has suddenly become a nun and renounced all the human-animal love, satan worship, orgies and her generally amoral wantonly ways from the series' previous entries. Along with an older nun who is suffering from some unfortunate gastrointestinal issues, Emanuelle is tasked to escort a wayward nympho teen, played by the incredibly hot Monica Zanchi (whose highly frequent disrobings account for 1 full star of my rating), to a girls school run by the nuns. Monica orally services some guy she meets in a scene onboard a wholly unconvincing train sound stage. This entry is distinguished by perhaps the strongest plot in the series; in other words, it actually has a plot. The wild child Monica beds everyone in sight at the school while sister Emanuelle tries to ignore the heat emanating from beneath her nun garments. Later a terrorist shows up for a literal roll in the hay and naked girls get tied up and whipped. Director Vari's style is more point and shoot relative to D'Amato but with the luch locales used, it's a no brainer. In the Extras, we get an extended scene of the whippings that throws in a dash of sodomy along with a hardcore version of the train scene that features an obvious double for Monica.

Emanuelle in America

�Work comes before pleasure�up to a limit. What limit? You just passed that limit.� Of the entire series of Black Emanuelle films, this is the one where all the elements come together in a delirious and insane perfection. D�Amato�s cinematography (see the underwater lesbian scene for one example), Nico Fidenco�s grinding vocoded score, the banal to the point of surreal dialogue and �plot�, the (at times) disconcerting mixture of hardcore sex and violence, the notorious Pedro the horse scene and so on. Laura Gemser is so smoking hot in this one that she seduces her way out of getting shot up by a gun toting maniac right in the opening scene. Armed with her trusty bracelet microcamera, the jet-setting photojournalist chronicles the depravities of the world when she�s not busy shooting glamorous soft core photo sessions. This is meta exploitation and it can�t be bothered with such trifles as plot or logic or continuity. Its about orgies, opium, snuff and what happens behind closed doors in the world of the wealthy and depraved. Its what inspired David Cronenberg to write what would become Videodrome. Interviews of D�Amato clearly reveal that he doesn�t think of himself as any kind of auteur and yet people are still talking about his grindhouse product 35 years later. Stellar DVD release from Blue Underground.

The Mist

Stephen King and Frank Darabont present their parable about the American war on terror. This is a Twilight Zone set up meets CGI by way of Stephen King-ian characters and dialogue. Conveniently, a broad slice of various stereotypes get stuck in the supermarket as a mysterious fog descends on Anywhere, USA. Some nice thrills redeem the heavy handed way the movie tries to be "serious" and rise above its genre trappings. The supermarket setting is a product placement dream come true. I also liked the ending but I'm a bit sadistic like that. 2.5 STARS

Black Emanuelle's Box: Vol. 2

**B&W E: The weakest in the Severin Emanuelle series was directed by a former Fellini writer. Eurotrash aficionados should note that genre veteran Nievves Navarro takes a facial in this one. I'm not talking about beauty salons. Anne Belle's chest accounts for one full star in this otherwise nonsensical and nearly unwatchable entry in the series. ****BE2: Here's a very different entry in the series that doesn't feature Gemser, but stars the incredibly endowed Shulamith Lasri in her only known screen role. Less exotic travelogue and more of a grittier blaxploitation feel to this one. Emanuelle is undergoing counseling to try to understand how a mysterious episode in her past causes her to freak out violently whenever she tries to be intimate with a man. BE2 has a much darker and somber view of sexuality than is typical for the series. The standout scene is a body painting scene with a hot blonde set to a super funky score. ****EatWST: Joe D'Amato is back in the director's chair for this entry which features Emanuelle and a stewardess friend in an opium-fueled threesome with a hairy old rich guy in Nairobi, shortly after the stewardess has her 'oil changed' by a mechanic. Eman whiffs the scent of a white slavery ring and ends up undercover at a high end brothel where she is 'broken in' by a flamboyant transvestite. Other lowlights include an impressive auction of young girls and a bowling alley gang rape. And if you look closely during one of the sex scenes, you will see a reflection of D'Amato peering into the camera! Doesn't quite reach the notoriety of Emanuelle in America: but a lot of trashy thrills for the Eurocult aficionado.

Emanuelle Around the World

Many of the reviews castigating this or any of the other Emanuelle movies for not being erotic enough are missing the point. The sex scenes are lit artfully for aesthetics and not titillation. Titillation is further undone by the intentionally disruptive editing: he�s on top then cut to her on top then cut to them on the floor, etc. In interviews, director D�Amato is very humble and appears casually disinterested concerning titillation (not too mention plot or acting performances) and only seems to perk up when his cinematography skills are brought up. And that�s what this and every other Black Emanuelle movie he directed is all about: the imagery that encapsulates the hedonistic jet set decadence of the fantasy world that Emanuelle (played again here by exotic beauty Laura Gemser) inhabits. Combine this with the clumsy plot and dialogue, not too mention the hilariously bad dubbing, and you have yourself a uniquely distinct exploitation film experience. Armed again with her trusty bracelet microcamera, she travels to a sultan�s wild harem to witness sex scenes with hardcore inserts, sees a German shepherd mount a woman, and hunts down some ridiculously suave and genteel white slavers. The grossly disfigured guy who �tests� out the new talent in the white slavery segment is a nice surreal touch. SLIGHT SPOILER: Ivan Rassimov plays the romantic interest in this one. Throughout the whole movie I kept expecting him to be revealed as the head of the slavery ring or something worse I dare not imagine: y�know, because its Ivan flippin� Rassimov! But noooo�he ends up being just a boring diplomat.

Emanuelle in Bangkok

Until I saw the dreck that is Black Emanuelle, White Emanuelle, this entry was easily the weakest of the Black Emanuelle series for me. For a good chunk of its running time, it is simply a lush travelogue of beautiful location shooting as we tag along with the jetsetting photojournalist Emanuelle for some fairly mundane assignments. And then BAM: there's the scene with the exotic dancer and the ping pong balls! Next thing you know you're smoking opium with Emanuelle at an orgy and watching her break up an engagement by having a lesbian tryst with the bride to be. Calling Emanuelle a sexual free spirit is a charitable way of saying that she can be a downright amoral animal. D'Amato's aesthetics remain consistent, blending sexploitation with the feel of a pseudo art film. Along with Gemser, this movie has Eurotrash regulars Giacomo Ross-Stuart as a long haired swinger and the inimitable Ivan Rassimov, this time inexplicably cast as an Oriental prince.

The Lost

Books and film are two entirely different artistic mediums and therefore the same story is not going to be the same experience. I mention this because the negative reviews here are mainly from fans of the book while the positive reviews are mainly from people who haven't read the Ketchum book. I am in the latter camp and thought this was an excellent example of the kind of film that modern horror should be striving towards. The movie is a character study of some morally vacuous characters who you may not sympathize with, intermittently punctuated by some very brutal and uncomfortable scenes. It culminates in an ending where the earlier focus on character development translates into a vividly gut wrenching and uncomfortable experience for the viewer because whether or not you sympathize with the characters, they�ve been formed into real people by that point. They aren�t cardboard cut out victim fodder. The direction is stylish and technically solid without being flashy. The camera lingers where lesser films would cheat with distracting edits. Marc Senter�s performance is first rate. 4 stars because 15-20 minutes of some of the exposition in the middle could have been trimmed without lessening any of its impact.

Sleuth

With this film, Kenneth Branagh has finally succeeded in fully climbing up into the deepest crevices of his own derriere. As a rule, I don�t need to necessarily sympathize with any of the characters in a film to enjoy it, but Harold Pinter�s screenplay paints such painfully petty and arrogant fools of the two leads that I spent most of the running time wishing that a roof beam would just collapse and kill them both. This would have most welcome during any given one of the interminable �Aha! The tables are now turned!� scenes. Put them out of their misery and free me from mine! Branagh�s overbearing and distracting style adds nothing to the film and amounts to a feature length commercial for modern interior decorating. Farcical and uninvolving to the extreme.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

This isn�t as involving as a Hayao Miyazaki animation but thankfully not nearly as cheesy as Shrek or its ilk. While this feature is visually impressive there is just way too much singing for my tastes. The kiddies will surely love this, though.

Russian Ark

Ultimately, this technically impressive foray into Russian history becomes as much of an endurance test for the viewer as it must have been for the camera operator. While many of the segues between different period settings were done very skillfully, the movie grinds to a halt during the far too numerous scenes of old men looking at and discussing various paintings. I doubt that having more knowledge of Russian history would have lessened the tedium that this film unfortunately descends to.

Sette Scialli Di Seta Gialla

MILD SPOILERS! A blind pianist, played by spaghetti western star Anthony Steffen, overhears what appears to be a blackmail plot at a bar, but only makes out snippets because a damn hippie is dancing at the jukebox. The same night, his ex-girlfriend, who had just dumped him, gets killed. Soon enough, bodies all across Copenhagen start to pile up. The pianist plays detective to find the killer and to also avoid becoming the prime suspect. This demented giallo is high on the (relatively bloodless) body count but low on originality. It has a blind protagonist (like Cat O' Nine Tails), is set in a fashion house (Blood and Black Lace) and features a mysterious caped figure (Red Queen Kills Seven Times). And hey, the murders are filmed with these cheesy kaleidoscopic and rapid zoom effects (French Sex Murders). But the film has one very original element: the killer uses feral cats with paws dipped in deadly poison to attack their victims, who conveniently are wearing shawls that had been dipped in an attractant scent! Whaaat? This giallo is a wild soap opera steeped in blackmail , adultery, lesbianism: all manner of shifty characters abound! While the camerawork and music are pretty unspectacular, I'd give it 4 stars for sheer bravado. Unfortunately, the DVD presentation is really piss poor. The picture is drained of a lot of color and looks like it was filmed through a cheesecloth. That's really unfortunate because its full of the deliriously modish 70s interiors and fashion that are part of what makes giallos such a great genre to watch.

Masters of Horror: John Carpenter: Pro-Life

This was at times: spot on social commentary, ridiculous, a gory throwback to 80s horror (I mean that in a good way), hilarious and the ending also threw in some Twilight Zone touches! Fans of Carpenters films should love this. In my opinion, the various viewpoints surrounding abortion were treated pretty even handedly without compromising the undeniable entertainment factor overall. But this isnt supposed to be taken as serious so if you hold a very strong opinion one way or another about abortion you may feel that you are being mocked with the cheesy horror aesthetic that Carpenter uses. But taking a step back from that, this is entertaining horror based on a serious and controversial topic that doesnt betray an agenda for either side.

Masters of Horror: Dario Argento: Pelts

So Argento is doing soft core now? Actually this is fairly enjoyable if you dont think too much about the crew behind the scenes. There is a lot of gore mixed in with a higher boobie quotient than is typical for the MoH Ive seen. Its always a pleasure to see John Saxon. The story is some sort of veiled commentary on capitalism, greed and desire but the short running time makes it feel rushed and unfinished. There is really very little to suggest that Argento directed this beside the admittedly high amount of gore. More depressing is the conventional soundtrack from Simonetti.

Juno

A somewhat contrived plot and way too self consciously �hip� dialogue almost unravels this affecting indie film about teenage pregnancy. Its redeemed by Reitman�s taut direction and the incredible performances from the cast.

Horrors of Malformed Men

Very bizarre but cool mix of lurid pulp melodrama and 60s avant garde art from Japan. Not for those who value logic and plot above all else although Ishii thoughtfully has a character �explain� all the disparate plot points at the very end. The movie is rife with twisted imagery and choice 60s visual techniques like bright primary filters and negative images. It all culminates into a nightmarish fever pitch as all of the �malformed men� are presented to the awestruck viewer. Another stellar DVD release from the fine folks at Synapse; great looking print plus extensive extras that include extensive poster stills, a scholarly commentary track as well as footage of Ishii attending a film festival and a featurette starring Shinyu Tsukamoto and other notable Japanese directors reminiscing on Ishii�s influence and impact.

The Monster Squad

An entertaining and very colorful foray into similar waters as the earlier and financially successful Goonies movie. Very intentionally campy take on the Universal monster franchises. Unfortunately, the FX work is pretty subpar, even for 1987. The werewolf transformation was very shoddy compared to The Howling or An American Werewolf in London from 5-6 years before this. I suppose that�s partly why the werewolf gets kicked in the balls as we learn that �Wolfman has nards!� in Monster Squad.

Mountain of the Cannibal God

2.5 STARS: Sergio Martino�s foray into the cannibal genre preceded and paved the way for the more notorious Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox that dumbfounded jaded grindhouse viewers a few years later. The older but still very attractive Ursula Andress stars as the wife of an adventurer who disappears while adventuring in the jungle. With the help of none other than Stacey Keach, she learns of a strange mountain that her husband was pursuing at the time of his disappearance. The further they get into the jungle, the wilder things get. While Cannibal God doesn�t have the same reputation as the more notorious cannibal movies already mentioned, it is hardly boring or simply a jungle travelogue. You will find all the same tasteless kinds of scenes that are the genre�s stock and trade: real animal killings (including a very unfortunate monkey getting eaten headfirst by a boa); multiple beheadings; on screen castration; a sex scene involving a wild boar and so on. The movie also boasts a very un-PC attitude of the white explorers towards the natives: they are only objects for ridicule or for seduction. Swell. As a bonus, Andress is stripped naked by the cannibals and painted from head to toe in a bizarre native ritual! For all the cannibal brain popping hyjinks, Cannibal God never really engages because the plot and characters are pretty humdrum. Worth checking out if you are a fan of Eurocult but otherwise head for Holocaust or Ferox to get your cannibal fix.

Sorcerer

Wages of Fear is one of my favorite movies of all time. In Sorcerer, Friedkin doesn�t remake Clouzot�s film but rather offers a new interpretation of the original source novel by Georges Anaud. The chief difference between the two versions is that Friedkin�s version gives more backstory to the characters than Clouzot�s, whose version focuses on a more universal and abstract atmosphere of desperation. By including the very different locales and background situations of the characters, Friedkin�s version may be suggesting the inevitable nature of economic desperation in the modern world. Sorcerer starts off with a series of mostly dialogue free and unrelated acts of violence (assassination, explosion, armed robbery, suicide) that create a sense of dread and mystery you don�t see much of in modern films where such ambiguous elements are usually expunged to play it safe with multiplex crowds. The tense scenes of the explosive transport were painstakingly shot on location and are brilliantly rendered. My huge qualm with the DVD presentation is that it is full frame and this really compromises the skillful wide shots that Friedkin employs throughout.

American Psycho

Mary Harron decided to approach the notorious Ellis novel as a straight black comedy mocking the excesses of the 80s. While this approach certainly made the novel more filmable, it kind of let the audience off the hook for its complicity in Bateman�s actions. Film and novel are different mediums, of course, but that artistic choice doomed the film to forever be in the shadow of the novel. OTOH, I will never think of Patrick Bateman without thinking of Christian Bale�s near perfect performance. He nailed the role; physically, intellectually and emotionally. Not a meager achievement considering the omnipotent presence of Bateman in the novel; Bale fleshed out the abstract quite brilliantly. The movie is just chock full of memorable images like Bale doing power situps in front of a TV playing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or him filling in a crossword with only the words MEAT and BONE. The business card scene is also transcendent.

Slave of the Cannibal God / The Severed Arm

Note: Get the Blue Underground release of this, not this version!!! 2.5 STARS Sergio Martino�s foray into the cannibal genre preceded and paved the way for the more notorious Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox that dumbfounded jaded grindhouse viewers a few years later. The older but still very attractive Ursula Andress stars as the wife of an adventurer who disappears while adventuring in the jungle. With the help of none other than Stacey Keach, she learns of a strange mountain that her husband was pursuing at the time of his disappearance. The further they get into the jungle, the wilder things get. While Cannibal God doesn�t have the same reputation as the more notorious cannibal movies already mentioned, it is hardly boring or simply a jungle travelogue. You will find all the same tasteless kinds of scenes that are the genre�s stock and trade: real animal killings (including a very unfortunate monkey getting eaten headfirst by a boa); multiple beheadings; on screen castration; a sex scene involving a wild boar and so on. The movie also boasts a very un-PC attitude of the white explorers towards the natives: they are only objects for ridicule or for seduction. Swell. As a bonus, Andress is stripped naked by the cannibals and painted from head to toe in a bizarre native ritual! For all the cannibal brain popping hyjinks, Cannibal God never really engages because the plot and characters are pretty humdrum. Worth checking out if you are a fan of Eurocult but otherwise head for Holocaust or Ferox to get your cannibal fix.

Lucio Fulci: Don't Torture a Duckling

I enjoy most giallos for their stylish murder scenes, contrived plots, Eurobabes and dazzling 70s imagery. However, a few giallos rise above and beyond their humble exploitation roots and tackle serious themes and issues. One such giallo is Duckling. The plot concerns a killer of young boys who plagues a small village in rural Italy. As the villagers go from one suspect to another, Fulci shows us the provincialism, prejudices, hysteria and outright ignorance that can harbor in such otherwise pastoral settings. The ineffectuality and hypocrisy of the law and authority do not escape Fulci�s penetrating gaze either. The attack of Florinda Balkan�s character by the angry villagers is a scene of unexpected power and emotional weight. Barbara Bouchet, normally cast for her looks, tackles a substantially deeper and less audience friendly role here. Her character suffers from drug addiction and a sexual attraction to really young boys(!) Keep in mind that the budgets on all these giallos were very low when you see the unconvincing dummy used as a double near the end. This is an absolute must see for Fulci fans that have only seen his later and more well known gore films. Duckling is indisputable evidence of Fulci�s talent, seriousness and artistry.

Rendition

This forgettable failure reminds me of the scene in Robert Altman's seminal The Player where a bunch of Hollywood film execs concoct movie plots by flipping through the morning newspaper over coffees. Topical subject: rendition. Throw in a couple of handsome young stars (Gyllenhaal, Witherspoon) and established ones (Streep, Arkin) to cover all the audience demographics. Dress it up with your standard 3 act formulaic plot and make sure the resolution shows the triumph of the human spirit! Bake and serve.

American Gangster

I remember experiencing a rush of excitement when I first heard about this project. Eminent visual stylist Ridley Scott taking on the story of a black criminal enterprise in 70s Harlem? The marriage of Scott�s visual and technical skills with the imagery and sounds of 70s era NYC seemed like a match made in heaven. Well, the finished product definitely delivers on that front. Alas, Steve Zaillian�s unfocussed and overlong screenplay turned the undeniably fascinating real life story of Frank Lucas into derivative tedium. I also really hope that the current infatuation the Scott brothers have for Denzel Washington will wane really soon. Denzel is just too darn pretty and polished to play in these kinds of darker roles. There is a scene in AG where he casually kills one of his competitors over lunch that just feels awkward because Denzel really can�t do ruthless or cold-blooded. Crowe is better although his character is underwritten. Chiwetel Ejiofor is always a welcome cast addition these days. Still, the immaculate framing and camerawork in every single frame was able to hold my interest when the story fell into any of its many lulls. Cinematographer Harris Savides had a great year with this and Zodiac and is definitely a talent to watch out for. Although, having every single one of the naked girls working in the heroin packaging room resemble super models with sculpted, toned bodies takes things a little too far! This was the pre-fitness craze 70s, Ridley! To enjoy AG, don�t think GoodFellas, Casino, Donnie Brasco or King of New York. Instead, think of it as an updated blaxploitation flick that shot for but fell short of becoming a future crime film classic.

Event Horizon

Paul WS Anderson is Hollywood�s modern schlockmeister. Like Resident Evil or Aliens vs Predator, one walks into Anderson�s Event Horizon knowing full well that they aren�t about to see a Stanley Kubrick film. But Anderson has no problem ripping off Kubrick (the elevator blood scene from The Shining as one example). The main �inspiration� here, though, is Ridley Scott�s Alien in both plot and art direction. Despite the high density of Hollywood sci-fi clich�s, the film is an entertaining diversion that has some genuinely tense moments and great gory effects. A scene where a character gets suspended in the air by multiple hooks through his skin makes one wonder if Takashi Miike had seen EH while he was developing Ichi the Killer.

Blade in the Dark

A late entry in the giallo genre from Lamberto Bava that is actually quite good. Most notably, the bathroom kill scene is notorious for being one of the most brutal murders in the entire genre! The plot (a music composer retreating to a empty large mansion to work on the score for a horror film and encountering a sadistic killer) is quite original and Bava has fun with the film within a film concept and shows a lot of visual flair in many scenes. Unfortunately, the movie is only available in an awful, awful English dub that persistently sabotages the atmosphere Bava tried to create. Awkward English translations (boys taunting each other with �You are a female! You are a female!�) and preposterously frantic sounding dubbing in fairly calm scenes add some unintentional humor value but I wish a better dub or the subtitled Italian language version was available. And DON�T watch the Bava interview in the Extras before the film because although there is no spoiler warning, Bava gives away the killer�s identity near the end of the interview.

They Live

Very entertaining B flick from Carpenter that is sort of a light brained companion to Cronenberg�s Videodrome. Former wrestler Roddy Piper (aka �Hotrod�) is kind of a blank slate who aimlessly walks around for the first third of the movie before he finds a pair of sunglasses that lets him see �the world as it really is�. Suddenly he sees that all the billboards and magazines around him are actually full of subliminal messages to OBEY and CONSUME and that aliens disguised as humans live among us and secretly control all of our institutions of power! He pairs up with veteran character actor Keith David to battle the menace. Soon enough though, they themselves get into a fight that has to be the longest and most protracted fight in an alleyway that has ever been filmed! Meg Foster, of the old �V� TV series is also in the cast and contributes those creepy intense eyes of hers! Top notch Hollywood schlock in the nicest sense of that word!

Lucio Fulci: The House by the Cemetery

Paulo Malco, the closeted gay psychologist in Fulci�s New York Ripper, plays a family man that moves his wife and precocious kid into a creepy old house where a madwoman with the rather telling name of Mary Freudstein used to live. Gory mayhem ensues. Although not one of Fulci�s strongest efforts, HBTC is artfully shot and develops an atmospheric feel that, while falling short of the intense nightmare logic that propels City of the Living Dead or The Beyond, does elevate it above its rather derivative and muddied narrative. The movie won�t disappoint Fulci fans who will smile as such Fulci-isms like a bat attack and Daniela Doria killing can be checked off your scorecards at home! The action packed climax redeems some of the more awkward and slow parts in the middle.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

This film is essentially a showcase for the visual genius that is Roger Deakins. His talent is of such a high level that it can almost carry this 2 1/2 hour movie on its own. The screenplay is interesting, if not lengthy, but unfortunately relies on many long dialogue scenes that Brad Pitt frankly just does not have the acting talent to carry as the lead. This was a monumental case of miscasting; Pitt looks nothing like Jesse James and is distractingly unconvincing throughout. Its a shame because the rest of the cast was quite good and one wonders what kind of movie this had been if they had just not humored Pitt's delusions of trying (and failing...again) to be a serious actor.

Nightmare Detective

What a letdown. When I first heard about this film, the premise of a �nightmare detective� battling a serial killer within the victims� dream state seemed immensely appealing. And it being directed by the man responsible for the brilliant Tetsuo sealed the deal!! How would he spin the concept differently than Wes Craven�s Elm Street series? But then, the misgivings started to creep in. Its being released by Dimension EXTREME stateside. Ugh. Could a more trend pandering and generic name for a releasing company even be possible? And unfortunately, the film itself is just as trend pandering. Stylistically, Tsukamoto blends every flashy aesthetic technique that is currently trendy: desaturated colors mixed in with scenes filmed through saturated color filters that come and go at random, uninspired Paul Greengrass type shaky camerawork/zooming being just a few examples. Aesthetics aside, the narrative is depressingly conventional and straightforward for the likes of a Tsukamoto. An interesting connection between the state of dreaming and death arises but is treated superficially and seems thrown in just so the killer can make creepy and twisted little monologues. But the film�s main weakness is in the casting. Matsuda�s emo, brooding, hair in his face �nightmare detective� aimlessly mopes around through the whole film in perpetual angst. Why so glum, chum? Angst does not equal profound. And newcomer hitomi, while very easy on the eyes, is just completely unconvincing as the star detective who elicits Matsuda�s supernatural talents to track down the killer. I also tried to concoct some sort of profound metacommentary for Tsukamoto�s self casting but failed. I give this 2 stars because, despite all I wrote above, there are a few genuinely startling and well shot moments that demonstrate Tsukamoto�s reputation as one of the greats of J-horror. I hear that this was a �for hire� job for him and unfortunately, it shows.

The Avengers

I think I figured out what my conception of eternal damnation is whilst slogging through this mind numbing turd: A double feature of The Avengers and The Italian Job remake played over and over with no end in sight. Scary.

Colt 38 Special Squad

A pretty entertaining poliziotteschi distinguished by slick direction from Dallamano and a funky score from Stelvio Cipriani (fans of Cipriani should note the interview with him in the Extras). Ivan Rassimov is the criminal mastermind, Black Angel, who uses a series of bomb explosions to ruthlessly terrorize the Italian city of Turin. Bozzuffi is very good as the police captain who pursues him after his wife and child are viciously gunned down by the Black Angel�s gang. The fairly standard revenge plot is buoyed by characters that have a bit more moral complexity than more typical product from this genre. Yet, a more intense actor like Maurizio Merli or Henry Silva could have ratcheted up the tension in the role of the police captain. The film has some comedic touches like a stool pigeon who gets blown up while taking a leak at the park(!). Dallamano adds a lot of cool visual touches like shots up circular stairways, some use of starburst filters during a nighttime car chase and some funky scenes at a disco that add a nice flourish to the proceedings. His camera also isn�t shy in lingering on the post bomb casualties!

Emergency Squad

A very stylish poliziotteschi from Stelvio Massi, who demonstrates a great eye for cinematography, framing and editing. The gritty crime funk of Stelvio Cipriani accentuates the gritty proceedings. Cult star Tomas Milian plays a tough cigar chomping rogue cop, a cross between Serpico and Clint Eastwood, who is grimly set on revenge for the cold blooded murder of his wife. 70s Eurosleaze aesthetes will appreciate the scene where he busts a foto-romanzi shoot as well as the overall retro appeal of the set and wardrobe design. I was really enamored by the grim tone that the film sustains throughout. Unlike the more typical Hollywood revenge plot scenarios where the �good guy� shows his humanity and whatnot by restraining his urge to kill the �bad guy�, Milian�s character in this flick suffers from none of those hang ups.

The Last Round

Massi�s crime flick is a variation on the plot of Yojimbo, which had already inspired fellow Italian directing legend Sergio Leone to lens A Fistful of Dollars during the boom in Italian westerns from the late 60s. Luis Bakalov doing the soundtrack also makes the connection to the western genre and the score is more orchestral and less funky than your typical poliziotteschi soundtrack to complement the more rural factory town setting of the film. Massi goes more wild here than in the more stylish and brooding Emergency Squad in terms of the onscreen violence. Although there is a rape scene midway through The Last Round that is unexpectedly tame compared to the film�s overall grim tone. Italian hunk Luc Merenda, who normally plays the good guy hero types, stretches his acting chops in a convincing turn as a ruthless crime boss. Carlos Monzon brings the requisite tough guy posture to his mysterious drifter character, but his limited range hardly compares to that of Clint Eastwood or Toshiro Mifune. Overall, Massi�s film is very content to revel in its exploitation conventions and makes for an entertaining film worth checking out by fans of the genre.

Chaos

I have to admit that the production quality in this low budget gore flick is just good enough for it to hit the grim and disturbing tone the makers set out for. The murder setpieces in Chaos had my jaw dropping to the floor. In addition, I have to admire the filmmakers for going back to the grit and grime of 70s exploitation as their inspiration rather than the teenybopper self-aware �hipness� so prevalent amongst the current glut of Lionsgate type horror. Once it gets rolling, Chaos is viciously relentless and doesn�t bother itself with providing the audience a chance for a breather in the course of all the brutality. No pseudo-arty and showy �I used to make music videos� direction either; the direction is very competent and the lack of frills works to make what is displayed seem more real and horrific. Finally, Kevin Gage (Waingro from Michael Mann�s Heat) gives a strong performance that is key to making the film�s brutal setpieces feel real. Having said all that, I can�t say that I will be revisiting this film anytime soon, if ever. It just highlights the creative dead end that this retro-exploitation �torture porn� genre really is (not too mention the blatant LHOTL ripoff in Chaos in particular!). After the shock wears off, what�s next? When does the race for ever more gruesome death and torture visuals backfire and become more numbing than shocking? The production is very workmanlike and the cinema verite feel the filmmakers were aiming for is not served well by the amateurish dialogue present in the screenplay. The ending is also illogical and farcical, like a teenage filmmaker desperately trying to summon his inner Tarantino. All of this makes the prologue warning quite laughable assuming it was ever meant to be taken seriously. The director�s wrestler posturing in the Extras further undermines any serious purpose that he may have portended. For a similar experience, but pulled off with greater directorial flair, try Wolf�s Creek.

Satan's Blood

This cool slice of Eurocult strangeness immediately grabs the viewer�s attention with a nicely animated blood dripping title sequence. After a bogus educational prologue about Satanism from a professorial looking type, the story delves into the tale of an improbably na�ve and slow witted married couple being seduced by a couple of Satan worshippers armed with a ouija board. Apparently Satan worship is largely about oiled up sex orgies and spooky walking dolls. The production design is very effective in bringing out some very cool occult imagery and there are some artfully atmospheric panning shots. The slow pace, improbable character motivations and relatively restrained horror elements will probably not appeal to anyone who isn�t a fan of Eurocult�and those very same elements make it a viewing treat for the fans.

Cloverfield

This shaky camerawork trend is OUT OF CONTROL. Cloverfield could have made for a great 30 minute short film if JJ Abrams had just cut out the backstory of the bland twentysomething characters. At 84 minutes, the camcorder gimmick wears out its welcome. And no, I can't be bothered to piece together the clues from the viral internet marketing because nothing from the actual movie motivates me to want to find out more.

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave

My wife was in another room away from the TV while I was watching this and she commented later that she couldn't tell from all the grunting and moaning on the soundtrack as to whether people were having sex or killing each other! I think that's a very apt commentary on this deliriously atmospheric giallo with gothic, supernatural overtones. Miraglia made far too few movies in his brief career! Evelyn recalls the same atmosphere as Margheriti's gothic horrors, where it feels to the viewer like stepping into a nightmare constructed by a child. Evelyn mixes in more explicit nudity and kink for a pleasantly potent and disorienting effect. Miraglia's camera angles and framing create an aura of 70s modernist decadence to the English countryside setting that is aurally brought to life by one of Bruno Nicolai's best soundtracks. The movie is full of memorable images like Erica Blanc's sultry strip tease or the roving lowshot of Marina Malfatti crawling on the floor. The cast is generally excellent and while Anthony Steffen is a pretty bad actor; his nutty, over the top performance actually works in this crazy flick!

Death Sentence

A very generic revenge flick from the director of the Saw movies. After a clich�d �home movie� title sequence that crassly sets up the loving family at the brink of tragedy, (all that�s missing was to have the son be on the brink of curing cancer or world poverty or something) the movie putters along from a very straightforward screenplay full of stock characters and nary a plot twist or surprise is to be had. The middle act just seems muddied and awkward and even when the final showdown between Bacon and the baddies really starts, the action scenes are strangely lacking in any visceral dynamics. Stylistically, director Wan decides to go with the currently trendy high contrast/ saturated look for the entire film! He really needs to learn that not everything looks cool when its lit like that underground cellar from Saw! On the plus side, there are some very cool and fluid camera movements. Bacon is competent but struggles with bringing any life to the generic quality of his character. A very anti-climactic ending closes the door on this soon to be forgotten snoozer.

Pieces

The movie itself is just as disjointed as the human jigsaw construction the killer creates in the film. Its all far too inept to be scary but Pieces has some serious bad movie cheesiness that ensures an entertaining viewing experience for fans of B movies. The killer is actually decked out in the traditional giallo uniform (fedora, long black coat, black gloves) but wields a loud chainsaw, and despite the conspicuous dress and noisy weapon, somehow manages to clandestinely get around a populated college campus in hunt of nubile naked victims. Add in the great electronic synth score by Cam, clich�d dumb characters spouting hilarious dialogue and some fairly graphic gore and nudity; and this uniquely Euro slasher delivers a good heaping of schlocky thrills.

The Prowler

One of the better 80s slashers that flooded the market in the wake of the box office success of Halloween and Friday the 13th. As Savini acknowledges himself in other interviews, the gore FX he did for this film is his very best work, which alone is reason enough to check this one out. While I was able to guess the killer fairly easily early on, that didn�t damper my enjoyment of the film at all. I also got a kick out of watching the 80s pretty boy Mark London character being chased by the pitchfork wielding maniac! Joseph Zito went on to direct Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, the strongest entry in that series, right after this and the two films make for a great slasher double feature.

Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film

Very entertaining documentary on the American slasher genre that is full of clips ranging from the mainstream to the more obscure. The key directors and FX people are interviewed and wax poetic about their careers and the allure of the genre in the public imagination. I would say that this will whet the appetite of newcomers and is great nostalgia for fans. It covers a lot of ground so some things get omitted, most noticeably the Italians (plus other non-American countries to some extent) get short thrift on their contributions. I would have also liked to have seen more footage of the protest groups and controversies generated at the genre's heyday if they extended the running time to 2 hours.

Inland Empire

More weird goodness from the surreal maestro! The movie within a movie framework is the perfect set up for Lynch to engage his various obsessions and the use of DV heightens the reality/unreality of what transpires. Lara Flynn�s performance through the various personas that her character experiences is incredible. Lynch is, however, in dire need of a good editor, as at 3+ hours, this bloated beast is in dire need of some trimming.

Ubalda, All Naked and Warm

The highlights of this Italian 70s comedy are, of course, its lovely ladies: Ms Fenech, Ms Schubert and one other beauty who�s name escapes me. Fenech looks absolutely stunning here and she steals every scene. The problem with this movie is that there�s just not a lot going on to really warrant much interest other than the nude scenes and they are rather tame and solely topless at that. I would recommend opting for another of Fenech�s comedies or one of her giallos instead.

Basquiat

I don't tend to watch a lot of biographies because I dislike some of the contrived "drama" that filmmakers often feel they need to add that instead results in losing a sense of the humanity of the life being shown onscreen. That is why Basquiat was such a refreshing and entertaining diversion; the artist in the center of it is somewhat elusive and mysterious and yet the film paints an affecting picture without grand histrionics. Apparently Basquiat had been a friend and colleague of director Schnabel, himself a former painter and this comes through in the viewing experience. The cast that was assembled for this small scale feature is incredible and their performances do not disappoint. My only criticisms of the film stem from the uneven pacing that result in some parts of the movie flying by so fast it is hard to make sense of. The ending is also rather abrupt and one wishes that perhaps more insight into his death could have been provided.

Before Night Falls

Javier Bardem is an incredible acting presence. Couple that with a riveting true story, amazing supporting roles from Depp et al, and the dazzling cinematography of Schanbel, and you have yourself an uncommonly rich viewing experience. Highly recommended.

Redacted

Whatever one�s political leanings, it is hard to argue against the passion and anger that propelled DePalma to make this small pointed film as his statement on the current war. In that sense, he should serve as a model for other artists. However, the resulting film, when taken on its own merits, does unfortunately fall flat. It is hard to imagine that anyone who has kept abreast of the actual goings on in Iraq would find anything surprising about what happens in the film up to and including the horrifying rape sequence. War IS hell, as countless movies, including DePalma�s own Casualties of War, can attest. Other films have also punctured the various mythologies of war like Redacted does. There just isn�t enough power in the film�s plot or characters to give it the transformational or awakening power that DePalma might have been aiming for. The film is presented through the use of various old and new media like a French documentary (that is an homage to Kubrick�s Barry Lyndon in style and sound), YouTube videos, blogs and mock terrorist websites amongst others. However, the narrative moves along so smoothly that the mixed media approach is largely relegated to just a decorative function. A more thought out approach to the plot could have helped recreate the more disjointed sensation of �witnessing� a news event through Internet media more fully as well as boost the verisimilitude of the film�s impact.

Visiting Hours

The movie has its moments but ultimately falls short due to pacing issues and some very tame gore. Resembling the far superior Maniac, directed by William Lustig, Visiting Hours spends a good chunk of its screentime with the killer, giving the audience some insight into his motivations (as well as a chance for the filmmakers to throw in some half-assed social commentary). While Micheal Ironside turns in an effective and convincing performance, his character is just underwritten. So, unlike with Joe Spinell�s character in Maniac, where the audience is made to feel even more horrified as his twisted psychopathic tendencies are expertly revealed; the mystery and menace in Visiting Hours is actually undercut by spending too much time with the killer. After awhile, watching the movie starts to seem strangely banal. It�s a shame too, because director Lord does create some effectively tense moments early on. In the end, the most memorable part of this horror flick is the poster artwork.

The Toolbox Murders

The lurid promise of the plot is sabotaged by some truly amateurish low budget direction and a 50s style generic soundtrack. The standout scene is the masturbation/murder scene where the flat direction actually works in creating a more unsettling tone than was probably aimed for. Things really derail in the second half�s investigation/hostage subplot and the fast forward button becomes a welcome ally! Do not be fooled by its notoriety as a video nasty, this film never rises above camp. Cameron Mitchell provides an over the top performance that is hilarious.

Happy Birthday to Me

Joyless and confusing 80s teen slasher. This film enjoyed some notoriety for particularly gruesome or inventive kills but the impact must have withered over time. Entertainingly cheesy ending, though.

Prime Cut

A great darkly cynical crime thriller from the director who made The Candidate with Robert Redford next. Lee Marvin nails another world weary hero role and I cannot remember another Sissy Spacek movie where she looked so flippin' beautiful! This movie dresses up a fairly routine action movie plot structure with some disturbing analogies between the livestock industry and society's political structure.

The Killing Kind

Poor Terry (John Savage) thinks that "women are supposed to be soft and cuddly" but then is forced to participate in a gang rape at the beach before the credits even roll! He goes to jail but is released and goes to live with his overweight mom, who likes to serve him chocolate milk when she's not demanding kisses on the mouth and massages or snapping photos of Terry naked in the shower. Terry tries to get his fledgling music career off the ground but ends up smashing his guitar in a rage of fury. Instead he spies on his neighbors as they undress for bed and in his excitement kills his mom's favorite cat. Terry then turns his murderous attentions to various women who either anger or sexually excite him. Meanwhile, a parrot repeatedly queries "Are you a good boy?" Cult director Curtis Harrington directs this slow moving ultra low budget movie and adds surreal touches via cheesy dream sequences, excessive reverb in the soundtrack and odd editing choices like a scene with Terry running in slow motion and diving into the pool and the shot of his submerged face dissolving into clothes being washed in a laundromat machine. The DVD includes a 25 minute interview with the late director that chronicles his interesting career (including his love of Bunuel and association with Kenneth Anger) and discusses the distribution problems that plagued the movie. Now this DVD release from cult label Dark Sky Films has rescued it from obscurity.

Partner

�Free the beast and the show will happen.� This strange experimental film from Bertolucci was largely forgotten until this No Shame DVD release (made from a pristine print). It doesn�t really have much of a plot aside from the protagonist, Giaccobe, suddenly developing a doppelganger, possibly in response to being rejected by conventional society. Who really knows or cares for that matter. I think Bertolucci was trying to put his subconscious thoughts down onto film with as little editing as possible. In the interview on the DVD, Bertolucci says that the movie was largely improvised and that it was political in its form more so than its content. The result is dreary to watch, unfortunately, as it is just too disconnected and nonsensical to really encourage any attempts to try to understand it. Still, I got through it because it was a fascinating time capsule of the turbulent times in Italy from which it sprang, viewed through Bertolucci�s great eye for composition and visual detail. It must have been an interesting experience to have seen it when it first played theatres but it just hasn�t aged very well.

Changing Lanes

This Samuel L Jackson / Ben Affleck vehicle is actually better than its brief appearance and disappearance in theatres would imply. I speculate that the film�s premise was sold simply as �Samuel L Jackson with road rage� and then peppered with a conveniently convoluted plot that desperately tries to account for why a simple fender bender can lead to a feature length flick. Director Roger Michell brings a slick visual style that makes for some exciting car sequences.

The Grifters

Wonderful little gem of a movie from Stephen Frears, fresh off his amazing Dangerous Liaisons, and years before he directed The Queen. Brilliant performances from the great cast of stars with Angelica Huston being most memorable, particularly in the depiction of the depths (or heights) her character goes to when pressed against the wall near the conclusion! The cinematography is expert.

The Candidate

Like Sidney Lumet�s seminal Network, this movie personifies the cynical political mood of the 70s. If this movie feels dated, it�s only because modern politics has caught up and surpassed the black comedy of this movie long since its initial theatrical run. For example, modern Republican PR hacks have seemingly lifted the phrase �turning the corner� right out of the screenplay! The paranoia soaked thrillers of Alan J Pakula, namely All the President�s Men and The Parallax View hold their power better, comparatively, due to their more abstract and surreal atmosphere. Still, Robert Redford is spot on as the idealistic lawyer swept up in the race to win an election no matter what the means. I was most struck by how the superficiality of the political game was laid bare in the contrast of Redford�s good looks and charisma compared to those of the behind the scenes imagemakers who were bald, fat and possessing exactly none of the charm of the image they were selling. �What do we do now?�

The People vs. Larry Flynt

�The pervert is back!� I recently had a chance to revisit this film via the Instant Viewing option. While the movie hadn�t lost its impact for me, I hadn�t fully appreciated in how much of a subjective fashion Milos Forman had directed it previously. Some of the scenes were so over the top and farcical (accentuated by the exaggerated comical soundtrack) that it seemed like Forman was presenting us how the actual events played out through Flynt�s eyes! In particular, the early court scenes had calculatedly unrealistic performances from everyone as if to hit the viewer over the head with how much of circus they were in reality. In some ways, this made some of the acting in the movie hard to appreciate as the actors played right into this subjective style. Despite that, Harrelson and Norton deliver solid performances. Courtney Love, otoh, is wretched�I feel poor Woody�s pain as he struggles to be credible in their more emotional love scenes. Overall, a great movie about a true American original.

The Sensuous Nurse

I just love the world of 70s Italian sex comedies! Scenic and lush locales are introduced with whimsical or funky soundtracks. Then seemingly every scene with a man and woman is essentially about the man scheming to get the woman naked and then (in the better films, at least) she eventually does and carnal fun is had by one and all. Its all so fun and festive that its hard to suppress a smile whilst viewing. The Sensuous Nurse is a prime example of this genre. The production quality is a lot higher than one would expect for such a low brow plot. The dreamlike scene of Ursula Andress swimming in the warm morning sun is particularly well done. While this version of the film has both the English and a subtitled Italian track, I strongly recommend the Italian option because of a lot of the humor is a result of the unique Italian vocal intonations that get lost in translation. The humor here is very cynical and crude as its basically about Andress� sexy nurse character trying to kill a family patriarch so that his scheming family can take over the business. And the T&A is ample with much of the mostly very attractive female cast eventually shedding their clothes. As the explained in the interviews on the Extras, Ursula Andress was quite willing to do nudity in an effort to maintain the popularity she attained with her iconic Bond girl appearances. Speaking of Bond girls, Thunderball�s Lucian Paluzzi also gets naked in this wonderful romp of film with another great transfer from the now sadly defunct No Shame label.

Black Mama, White Mama

Given the moneymaking success of Jack Hill�s Philipino women in prison flicks like Big Bird Cage and Big Doll House, it was no surprise that AIP quickly followed suit with a string of cheapie flicks including this one. On a positive note, the cast of this movie includes several familiar faces from those very same Jack Hill movies, most notably the bodacious Pam Grier and the scene stealing Sid Haig!! The premise of making an exploitation version of the classic �The Defiant Ones� but with hot chicks seems to hold a lot of promise but hack director Romero doesn�t do much with it. Instead we are presented with a muddied plot concerning something about a gang of revolutionaries and assorted baddies chasing the fetching fugitives from one laughably staged shoot out to the next. Its badly edited and badly acted and yet, to Romero�s credit, never gets boring. The man is no artist but he can tell a good story at a decent pace and things never get boring. This is the second Romero film I�ve found online and they�ve both been surprisingly entertaining despite their shortcomings. He apparently made a niche for himslef as a director for hire for these cheapie quickies in the 60s and 70s and then faded into obscurity. The sweet funky soundtrack doesn�t hurt either. But I suppose movies like this are made primarily as vehicles for some good ole T&A and here, the movie delivers handedly. So while the great dialogue and wit of the superior Jack Hill films is absent, the T&A presented here is actually a notch above. So let�s call it a draw and enjoy them all.

Perversion Story

At least a couple of giallos were �inspired� by Hitchcock�s Vertigo; Riccardo Freda�s Liz and Helen and Fulci�s Perversion Story, also known as One On Top Of The Other. Perhaps not by coincidence, Fulci wrote both of them. The reviewers who found the plot unconvincing should know that this version of the film is from a French print, which opted to cut out some of the expository dialogue in favor of some of the more sensual scenes. These missing scenes are pretty evident from the abrupt editing splices and are only available in grey market versions. This is one of Fulci�s earlier efforts and unfortunately it shows in some of the clumsy camerawork. While Jean Sorel and Marisa Mell deliver solid performances, Elsa Martinellli gives a performance so wooden, its actually indirectly enjoyable. The plot is decent enough, but where this film really excels at is in atmosphere. It�s a colorful kaleidoscopic time capsule of 60s San Francisco, with wild and funky d�cor and fashions to delight the eyes. For fans of Fulci�s more well known gory outings, this film will come as a surprise. I would recommend seeking out Lizard in a Woman�s Skin or Don�t Torture a Duckling for Fulci�s finest giallo output, but Perversion Story is a solid entry in his canon nevertheless.

Bug

Prospective viewers shouldn�t be put off by this film�s brief theatrical run or lackluster box office. That is the fault of Lion Gate�s wildly deceptive marketing which tried to sell this like it was an offshoot of its more familiar Saw franchise. Bug is pure psychological horror and is definitely one of 2006�s overlooked gems. Like any true horror, it is unsettling and not necessarily pleasurable to watch. But for adventurous seekers of unique film experiences, it will not disappoint. Helmed by the legendary Friedkin (French Connection, The Exorcist, To Live and Die In L.A, amongst others), the movie is a slowburning examination of how loneliness and loss can start the downward slide into horrific paranoia and dementia. Friedkin skillfully builds his story and does not shy away from showing the madness that his characters descend into. One can read it as an exploration of drug abuse or dysfunctional relationships. Friedkin leaves enough ambiguity to leave the viewer thinking about the film long after its over. Micheal Shannon reprises his role from the play the movie is based on and is perfect as the stranger who seems friendly but is distinctly �off� from the first moment he appears. But the real pleasant surprise is Judd�s convincing and powerful performance. Friedkin is also to be commended for filming Bug for a paltry $4 million! Or even tackling this sort of small film in the current ADD multiplex environment. His patented disorienting audio and visual tricks effectively accentuate the film�s increasingly disarming tone without having to resort to the cheap jump scares so prevalent in the current crop of modern horror out there.

Barton Fink

Barton Fink ranks with The Big Lebowski, Miller�s Crossing and Blood Simple as one of the Coen Bros� finest cinematic excursions, imho. The film is mainly about the process of creating art, with all of its accompanying conceits, delusions and its fragility and disposability in a world driven by commerce. In the creative hands of the Coens, this gets twisted and skewed into a cinematic Mobius strip. Turturro ably carries the movie as the idealistic �babe in the woods� newly transplanted to 1940s Hollywood, standing out in the cynical landscape through both his naivete and curious Eraserhead style coif. Anyone who has suffered through writer�s block can relate to his plight, and the film makes the figurative literal. The rest of the film is stocked with entertainingly odd characters, most notably John Goodman as his traveling salesman neighbor. The film is loaded with details and subtleties that invites and rewards repeated viewings.

Severance

One shouldn�t go into Severance expecting a Shaun of the Dead type horror/comedy hybrid. The emphasis in this horror/comedy is decidedly on the former. As a horror flick, it delivers in the buildup, suspense and the ensuing gore. The comedy elements are pitch black and largely visually derived. The two genres really merge when one of the characters describes how a severed head can still be conscious for several minutes only to have an �A-ha� moment later on when he meets the same fate. Severance is a solid horror movie that strives for a broader comedic effect, but misses the mark ultimately. The movie is also chock full of references to classics like Dr Strangelove (a tenuous connection, at best) for those who like to spot those sorts of things.

Nightmare City

To determine whether you will enjoy this movie or not depends on whether you can accept the idea of "zombies" engaging in gun fights and car chases. If the surreal/cheese factor of that is appealing to you, then this fun flick will be a blast. If not, then stick to the Romero classics, Lucio Fulci's gore flicks or more modern fare like 28 Days.

The '70s Dimension

This collection exceeded my expectations tremendously. Not only did it deliver on the 70s kitsch (i.e. fashion, hairstyles, decor) but some of these PSAs were also really eye opening. For example, many of the anti-drug spots had extras who appeared like they were stoned or were so inept that one could see why drug use was so prevalent in that decade. Also of note were the spots for new airports or electronics that seems so wonderfully alien and indoctrinating from the vantage of the present time when we do not even think twice about how common place they have become in our lives.

Hitcher in the Dark

Like many other 70s exploitation directors, Lenzi just lost his verve when that great decade expired. I'm a big fan of his cheesy zoom lens happy 60s and 70s movies so this dreck was particualrly painful to watch. This lacklustre affair is only slightly notable because its one of Josie Bissett's first acting roles before she temporarily got some fame from the now defunct Melrose Place TV show. To give a sense of how mindnumbingly dull this is, I watched it at 4X speed, only to get bored even then. At 16x speed I was finally able to get to the end just to see if Umberto could muster up even a bit of his old magic. Sadly, he did not.

Welcome to Spring Break

Cheesy is the right word to describe this flick. I like that the killer is decked out in all black biker garb which recalls the killers from deliriously trashy 70s giallos like Strip Nude for Your Killer or What Have they Done to Our Daughters. An aging Lenzi does manage to muster up some hilariously bad dialogue and some laughably entertaining murder sequences. If you absolutely need to see some late 80s Lenzi, choose this one over the virtually unwatchable Hitcher in the Dark. It was a treat to see John Saxon show up in this too. Definitely falls in the "so bad its moderately good" category.

1408: Theatrical Version

2.5 STARS Cusack and Jackson phone in their roles, propping up the flimsy premise concocted by the rabidly overrated King, who is also undoubtedly cashing in as he tosses every conceivable clich� he can think of into his hackneyed plot. Setting it in a hotel provokes comparison to The Shining, but this little time waster has got nothing on Kubrick�s horror masterpiece. Is it entertaining, though? Yes, Cusack�s hour in the haunted room is a competently directed audio/visual treat but the outcome is never really in question. And hence there is no real suspense. Like most of Hollywood�s celluloid junk food, its instantly forgotten mere seconds after the credits roll.

Shoot 'Em Up

I�m a bit of a sucker for these Woo/Tarantino knock offs. This is the second movie in the past year where Clive Owens is running away from gunfire with a baby in hand. But the comparisons to Children of Men stop squarely there. Unlike that rather unique film, this quickie flick is a rehashed mess of clich�s that brings nothing new to the table. Owens as the Eastwood-esque quiet loner (Clint�s trademark handrolled cigarettes replaced with healthier carrots), Giacomo as the hit man assassin playing domestic with his wife on his cellphone, and Monica Belluci as the hooker with a, you guessed it, heart of gold?! Give me a break! Why would such a talented cast appear in something so derivative? Sure, the film is �adrenalin charged� and full of cartoonish violence�but its all been done before except bigger, crazier and bloodier. I had to admit to a small sigh of relief when I saw that the action sequences were filmed more in an old school style instead of the Matrix-like CGI overload that the teaser led me to fear. Although there was CGI blood splatter that was as irritating as always. At times, this movie wants to be a sly satire of itself and the films it was inspired by, but is hugely let down by its dumbed down screenplay. Smokin� Aces or Running Scared (2006) are better recent bets if you are in the mood for mindless violence.

Giovannona: Long-Thigh

An entertaining slapstick farce from Italian genre film director Sergio Martino. The main attraction here is the voluptuous Edwige Fenech, who looks as beautiful as ever. While the film is in Italian and subtitled (apparently Italian comedies from the 70s were not perceived as marketable exports like their thriller and horror fare), the plot is silly and simple enough that I was able to follow along for most of the film with the subtitles turned off. What really struck me was the range of Fenech�s acting talents: her timing and expressions are mesmerizing and a delight to watch. Although he is deservedly better known for his gialli, Martino shows a true flair in his comedic set ups. Since this film originally came out in 1973, the nudity is pretty spare compared to later Italian sex comedies like Joe D�Amato�s Ladies Doctor.

The Burning

The first film produced by the Weinstein Bros is kind of like Meatballs meets Friday the 13th. The plot is pretty clich�d but the gore effects done by Tom Savini are satisfyingly graphic (Nice interview with Savini in the extras details some of the technical info on how they did the effects) An excellent electronic synth score by Ron Wakeman really accentuates the suspense sequences. Couldn�t help but notice that the killer wore a black hat and gloves making a link between the 80s slasher genre and their earlier manisfestation in the 70s Italian giallo genre. Lot of recognizable faces of actors that went on to bigger things like Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame. Fun 80s slasher flick that�s worth watching.

The Trials of Henry Kissinger

A very interesting documentary from Eugene Yarecki, who later went on to make the insightful �Why We Fight�. The film convincingly lays out the case for Kissinger to be charged as a war criminal that is also featured in Hitchen�s book. The film paints a picture of Kissinger as a weighty intellectual who accrued personal power and influence amongst the Washington elite through his duplicitous use of foreign policy formulation. His deft ability to work behind the scenes was both fascinating and unnerving. While some may find the discussion of this policy in the film boring, it is crucial to understanding Kissinger�s rise and I applaud the filmmakers for not abbreviating it in favor of more dramatic contrivance.

Soylent Green

This sci-fi schlock starring Charlton Heston seems very overrated. The production values feel more like AIP than MGM. Who knew the future would look pretty much the same as the 70s? Heston is hard to take seriously with that neckerchief and goofy detective outfit. I honestly could enjoy this for just the cheesy 70s ambience if the plot didn�t limp along at such a plodding pace. Fleischer�s direction is also very flat and uninspired. This B-flick does redeem itself with the casting of sultry Leigh Taylor-Young, iconic TV star Chuck Connors and the late great Edward G. Robinson.

The Andromeda Strain

Classic intelligent sci-fi. Robert Wise�s widescreen compositions are exquisite as are the fantastic �retro-future� looks of the sets and early trippy computer graphics. This movie flips the typical cinematic clich� of alien invasion via humanoids or giant creatures entirely on its head! It was quite an ambitious idea to make the alien threat microscopic in size. And unlike lesser counterparts that revel in questionable or just outright bogus science, the Andromeda Strain filmmakers depicted realistic science very credibly and accurately. The current topicality of the subject matter might make this film a candidate for a remake. If this were to happen, I would really hope that the remake tried to emulate the casting of the original. The actors were all in their 40s or older and decidedly non-Hollywood in look, making their roles as accomplished and preeminent scientists much more believable than the modern tendency to just cast young and attractive actors would be.

The Party's Over

While it has some provocative and compelling moments, this documentary suffers from bad editing and a lack of any cohesive substance. Its hard to figure out what the point is as so many political parties and interest groups are covered but with very little depth given to any. Its more of a travelogue hosted by Hoffman, who himself seems to be just winging it most of the time. Not "raw", just sloppy.

Someone's Watching Me

I was pretty excited to watch this. A lost John Carpenter movie. Late 70s tacky fashion and decor. Lauren Hutton. Stylish camera moves that evoked Hitchcock, Argento and Polanski, amongst others. What's not to love?? Unfortunately, the plot was so cliched and the acting so stilted, that watching the movie solely for the technical and stylistic flourishes was ultimately tedious. Even Carpenter admits that the movie's scripting and shooting was rushed in the short interview that is an extra on the DVD. If only he had done the soundtrack himself then that may have elevated this relatively tame made-for-TV movie. Unless you are a hard core Carpenter fan, you can probably safely skip this one.

The Black Godfather

Obsession can lead to bad things. Really bad things. Like feeling compelled to watch Black Godfather. The title suggests a possibly cool movie, but the actual movie is far, far off the mark. If you just have to watch every blaxploitation flick you can find, I won't be able to dissuade you. But this is bottom of the barrel bad. It makes The Black Gestapo shine in comparison. Not the worst blaxploitation, but darn close.

The Castle

This is probably my favorite Hanake movie because it is based on Kafka�s novel and not written by him. I�m not so sure I agree with the capsule summary which calls this film �visually stunning�. It is, like other Hanake films, very sparse and low key. I think Hanake himself would be insulted by that statement since his aim is to make films that are nonmanipulative. The only noticeable style is the continually opposing horizontal dolly shots that reflect K�s thwarted quest. The lighting and other cinematography is workmanlike and unremarkable. Ulrich Muhe, Hanake�s favorite male lead is excellent. His ability to wordlessly convey his character�s state of mind in this film is a prelude to his later role in The Lives of Others. It�s a little puzzling why an unfinished Kafka novel was made into a movie and, like the book, the movie also ends abruptly. A superior Kafka adaptation that is actually visually stunning is The Trial, directed by the brilliant Orson Welles and starring a young Anthony Perkins.

The Exorcist

Isn�t it sad to think that the slow pace by which this movie unfolds would never get past the editing room of modern Hollywood? And yet that is exactly why the end product is so unsettling and powerful. The plot basically subverts modern notions of demonic possession as the ignorance of earlier cultures to mental imbalances that are now thought of as �rationally� understood and treatable with a vast array of pharmaceuticals. The film very deliberately chronicles the exhaustive and futile efforts of Ellen Burstyn�s character to treat her daughter�s mysterious illness with the tools of modern science. And this makes the inevitable supernatural conclusion all the more convincing and horrific. Our faith in the progress of modernity is challenged just like Father Karras� religious faith. Intelligent horror movies like this are a rare commodity indeed. Be warned that the online version is full screen and not in the original aspect ratio.

Cruising

As revealed in the documentary and commentary on this DVD, there is about 40 minutes of Cruising that was cut to appease the censors and thereafter lost forever(!). One has to wonder what Friedkin�s original vision would have looked like. What remains though is a stylish and intelligent murder mystery infused with ambiguity. The screenplay seems purposefully contradictory and the acting weirdly stilted, like it was postdubbed. And it�s all heightened by Friedkin�s use of disorienting sound design and �subliminal� hardcore gay footage inserted into the murder set pieces. While I wouldn�t call it homophobic, the film does not shy away from graphically depicting the extremes of the gay subculture in which the movie is set. The gritty and sleazy look of Cruising evokes the 70s NYC of Taxi Driver as well as more exploitive fare like Lucio Fulci�s New York Ripper. It even has a supporting character played by Maniac star, Joe Spinell. In the end, the viewer is left with more questions than answers, and its hard to say whether that was Friedkin�s intentions or due to all the lost footage, or a bit of both.

Three Days of the Condor

I first heard of this movie because of the incredible soundtrack by Dave Grusin, which is a beat digger's goldmine. Then with Pollack directing, and Redford and van Sydow starring, that cinched the deal. Its an effective and suspenseful espionage thriller that is eerily prescient in the current climate. The plot is very well constructed and unfolds skillfully. Faye Dunaway also delivers a nicely nuanced performance. The technology in this movie is so retro that its distracting yet amusing. However, the fight scene about 2/3 in is still very visceral to modern eyes and a welcome relief from some of the overdirected quick cut nonsense in modern films. If you liked Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman, this is of similar ilk.

Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key

Strangely, the title of this Sergio Martino giallo comes from a letter that Edwige Fenech�s character receives from Ivan Rassimov�s stalking ex-lover in the earlier Martino giallo, The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh. Both actors also star in this film along with Luigi Pistilli as an alcoholic writer and the stunning Anita Strindberg as his abused and tormented wife. Set in the Italian countryside, this giallo retains Martino�s flair for creating an aura of decadence buoyed by several suspenseful murder sequences. The movie�s title sequence is set against a blurred couple in the midst of lovemaking and then dives right into a hippie party held at the writer�s estate that sets up the tension between the central characters from the onset. Another highlight of the movie is the love scene between Fenech and Strindberg(!). Like many giallos, a rash of murders seemingly being committed by a �sex maniac� turns out to be a cover for much seedier going-ons. Apparently based on an Edgar Allan Poe short story, this story has more of a supernatural element to it than the other Martino giallos. Ernesto Gastaldi�s script is full of unsavory characters and backstabbings abound. Again, Bruno Nicolai delivers another solid score.

The Case of the Scorpion's Tail

Probably my favorite Sergio Martino giallo, despite the absence of screen beauty EdwigeFenech. Ravishing Swedish Anita Strindberg�s presence does compensate; although while her face is gorgeously striking, her topless scenes suggest a bad implant job. The other drawback is the ridiculously fake exploding model airplane, that is even seen again in a flashback and thus totally undermines an otherwise dramatic moment later in the film. However, like most of the laughably dated aspects of giallos, it all just adds to the surreal charm of this genre. Onto the positives: Bruno Nicolai�s score, replete with menacing, atonal elements and horn squelches is one of his most memorable. The plot introduces an entire ensemble of depraved and/or shifty characters and red herrings, not a single likable one in the bunch. Ahhh, the cynical 70s! While the first apparent killer is dressed in the standard black hat and gloves, the second one wears a full body leather outfit, introducing a strange �Diabolik� fetish flavor to some graphic and well done (for the time) murder set pieces. The movie also has a large array of stylistic flourishes like a slow motion run by Jess Franco regular Janine Reynaud to close a door before the killer gets in, Ida Galli being chased up a circular staircase or Strindberg being attacked by the killer in a dark apartment lit only by vivid dayglo colors. Once again, George Hilton suavely plays a character who thwarts the viewer�s expectations with his suspicious behavior. The love scenes in this giallo are deliriously decadent, and it sustains a wonderfully trashy vibe throughout. Overall, a vastly entertaining giallo experience with great replay value.

All the Colors of the Dark

Another stylish giallo from the master Italian genre director, Sergio Martino. This is best viewed as a giallo style take on Rosemary�s Baby and is really a showcase of Edwige Fenech�s acting charms. She is able to really carry and sustain the movie�s suspense level and convincingly conveys her character�s apparent mental breakdown. Fear not, for the movie�s ample nudity showcases her other charms as well. Once again, George Hilton plays the role of the good guy who might actually be a bad guy. Martino also makes good use of Ivan Rassimov�s devilish looks as a satanic cult leader who stalks Fenech with a stiletto blade. The movie is chock full of other genre stars like sultry Nieves Navarro, blonde beauty Marina Malfatti and the ubiquitous George Rigaud i.e. the old guy who seems to be in every other giallo made in the 70s. The movie is set in the English countryside and Martino uses his roving wide angle lens to great effect. Admittedly, though the entire Satanic black mass sequence comes off more kitschy than scary. While it certainly does not strive for the classic status of Rosemary�s Baby, All the Colors of the Dark does create an atmosphere in which the viewer�s mindset often parallels the Fenech character�s confusion and crumbling grip on reality. The movie also opens with a memorable title sequence that cuts immediately to a disorienting dream sequence that sets the tone for the engaging Gastaldi penned plot that follows. Bruno Nicolai delivers another solid score. The trailer in the Extras is pretty trippy.

The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh

This was Italian B-movie director Sergio Martino�s initial foray into the giallo genre. Martino is often held in lower regard than the likes of Argento and Fulci by many (but not all) Eurocult fans. In terms of his giallos that seems offbase. As penned by Ernesto Gastaldi, Wardh is a lurid and suspenseful giallo with a nice twist ending and memorable performances from many of the genre�s key players. Edwige Fenech performs in the first of several starring roles that would eventually cement her reputation as the queen of giallos. Ivan Rassimov has that great villainy face and George Hilton stars as the character who just doesn�t appear to be who he really is. Or is he? What I like about Martino�s giallos are that they don�t portend to be art, yet his skillful direction coupled to the deft set and costume design create a kind pop art time capsule of early 70s Italy that I love to revisit time and time again. Check out the wild interior design of Fenech�s apartment or the hedonistic party where she first meets Hilton. The archetypal �sex maniac� storyline provides the backdrop for some effective murder scenes. Wardh also has a couple of stylish slow motion dream sequences that very effectively convey the backstory between Fenech and Rassimov which feel very ahead of their time and revealing artistry that goes beyond the genre conventions of the early 70s. Superb score by Nora Orlandi.

Eastern Promises

David Cronenberg has always delivered horror films that packed an intellectual punch on top of their visceral thrills. With Eastern Promises, like A History of Violence, he continues to move away from the trademark style of Videodrome, The Fly and The Dead Zone to a much more subtle but no less unsettling tone and content. His thematic concern about the nature of shifting identities is still there. Ostensibly, this movie�s plot concerns Naomi Watts quest to find out the circumstances behind the death of a mysterious young woman. This leads her to a Russian crime family led by a silver haired patriarch, a brilliantly disquieting performance from Mueller-Stahl. Cassel turns in a manic and impressive role as the borderline insane and impulsive son and heir to the crime family throne. But it is Mortenson�s Nikolai that is the most mysterious and complex character, truly one of the most enigmatic characters put to screen in the last few years. Echoing Nikolai, the movie�s atmosphere oozes mystery and a constant dread of the awful secrets lurking in the shadowy underworld of London. "This isn't our world�we are ordinary people" warns Sinead Cusack�s character. This is not a typical crime flick; its more of an exploration of the inner motivations of its conflicted characters than the mechanics of the mob world. But Cronenberg does not shy away from graphically depicting the violence of this shadowy world, including an incredible scene set in a bath house that definitely raises the bar. This movie is a fresh and original neo-noir from beginning to end. On top of the brilliant performances and direction, the screenplay by Knight (Dirty Pretty Things) is full of twists and revelations, and Howard Shore�s understated score effectively accentuates the proceedings. With Cronenberg, it always feels like there is so much more going on than just what�s on the screen, and multiple viewings are always rewarded.

Funny Games

I think that this movie tries to ask the question �Why are we attracted to violent media and what does that attraction do to us as humans?� Unfortunately, the director, Michael Hanake, cops out and spends the film�s duration provoking and condemning the audience for continuing to sit through ever increasing levels of violence. He does this by having the 2 sociopaths that terrorize the affluent middle class family periodically speak straight into the camera to the audience. Without giving too much away, the characters are also able to rewind the picture to change a pivotal moment in the narrative. I am sure that some film school geek could enlighten me about the distancing or alienating effect of these devices being precisely Hanake�s intention, but to me, that�s all contrivance and wankery. Yet still, and here I would agree with some of the more positive reviews I�ve read, the narrative and characters are very anti-Hollywood. The viewer realizes that the film makers� sympathy doesn�t lie with ANY of the characters, and so the narrative becomes exciting because literally anything could happen. Were it not for Hanake�s cinematic contrivances, this could have been a very brutal and remorseless thriller. But I suppose that would be counter to what Hanake was trying to do(?) So ultimately, Funny Games is a frustrating experience because Hanake wastes his film by merely hurling contempt at the audience instead of trying to really address anything of substance.

Benny's Video

One of overrated auteur Michael Hanake�s earlier efforts, Benny�s Video starts off strong with a scene involving an unfortunate pig that is not for the squeamish. Yet its not gratuitous as it foreshadows a key pivotal moment in the narrative. Like most of Hanake�s movies, this one is ultimately about the alienation in modern society produced from our oversaturated sensationalistic media culture as well as our collective amnesia to the dark and violent in both ourselves and our shared past history. Hanake�s style is typically spare: muted dark colors, no soundtrack beyond incidental sounds and very somber and stark performances. I liked the nostalgia value of seeing the old VHS scene as well as the depersonalized way that Hanake filmed exchanges of commerce. Arno Frisch and Ulrich Muhe give intense performances as Benny and the father, respectively. Unlike his later efforts, Benny�s Video isn�t as hobbled by the overtly artificial plot devices Hanake injects into the narrative to get his moral messages across at the expense of narrative cohesion and believability. This is a solid �art house� contribution to the teenage sociopath genre.

Laurel Canyon

2.5 STARS. I sought out this movie because of Christian Bale, who is arguably one of the greatest actors currently working in Hollywood. He doesn�t disappoint, nor does the reliable and incredibly talented Frances McDormand, who plays his pot smoking free spirit mom. Their scenes together are both powerful and tender. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie just doesn�t quite gel. Several scenes feel disjointed and incomplete, and some of the plot developments come off feeling contrived and unnatural. In my opinion, the weakest element is Kate Beckinsale. She is completely unconvincing in her role and this derails the movie since her character�s transformation is so pivotal to everything else. Her bubbly bimbo looks just don�t suit the role of a PhD scientist from the East Coast, and her �acting� further sinks any scene she is in. Her scenes with Bale have no chemistry and this weakens the plot because the viewer is left scratching their head as to why Bale�s character is so tormented when their relationship is jeopardized by various events. Her casting is symptomatic of the modern Hollywood obsession with populating every role with pretty young faces and the movie would have been much stronger if the filmmakers had resisted that unfortunate trend. On the other hand, Natascha McElhone is mesmerizing, even in what limited screen time she gets.

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

This film rests on the shoulders of Sean Penn�s criminally effective portrayal of the real life Samuel Bicke. Penn�s performance is just amazing and he is very convincing at portraying the descent of his character as he struggles with his failing marriage, his disillusionment with Nixon era America, and his own tragicomic delusions of self grandeur. I was reminded of Penn�s brilliant performance in the underrated Hurlyburly. Jack Thompson also gives a memorable performance as Bicke�s boss, the most immediate embodiment of the corrupt core of materialistic success as viewed through Bicke�s eyes. The other being Richard Nixon, here portrayed through actual news footage. Don Cheadle and Naomi Watts are also pretty solid, but their characters aren�t that well developed as the focus of the screenplay is on Bicke�s mental breakdown. The film�s direction is low key, with some visual allusions to Taxi Driver, no doubt a key inspiration. Although Niles Mueller is no Scorsese. Overall, the movie is an interesting exploration of the negative consequences that can occur when the pressures of attaining the American Dream intersect with an unstable personality.

Cache

1.5 STARS Let me start by saying that I have no issues with filmmakers who want to tackle ugly realities or who aren�t interested in creating likable characters or formulaic Hollywood-style three act thrillers with neat and tidy resolutions. I can tolerate ambiguity and don�t necessarily have to be entertained by a film so much as to be given an experience that is compelling. If the experience haunts me for days or weeks (or forever) after, then so much the better. Having said all that, Cache is a yet another pretentious cinematic contrivance from Michael Hanake. The problem with Cache is that Hanake is so intent on getting his moral message across, that he clumsily sabotages the believability of both his characters and the narrative. This is primarily evident in the device of the mysterious surveillance tapes being sent to the film�s protagonists, the French affluent couple. (Incidentally, what is with all this hatred for middle class married couples in Hanake�s films??) At first, they are mysterious and unsettling, but they quickly devolve into being so obvious that its hard to imagine why the mysterious sender didn�t just start with sending those or how Auteuil�s character could have possibly NOT figured out that they related to an incident from his childhood. That works against Hanake's commentary on repressed memories. A truly talented auteur wouldn�t let the viewer see the seams of his filmic structure so readily. And as for Hanake�s much celebrated �style�, I recommend queuing up some Michelangelo Antonioni films. Like Funny Games, I commend Hanake for tackling serious themes, but he just hasn�t been able to pull one off convincingly as of yet, in my opinion.

The Abductors

Skinny blonde "superspy" Ginger springs back into action in this second installment of the Ginger trilogy. This time she is battling an evil white slavery ring!! Sporting slightly higher production values than its predecessor, this sequel has more nudity, more action, more shootouts, and brace yourself, aerial shots! If you are watching this, you know what you are in for: the pace is snail like, the acting is laughable, and the entertainment value is debatable. Overall, this one is in the lower tier of 70s exploitation, but has its moments.

Transformers

Playboy director Micheal Bay is back doing what he does best: exploding things real nice like. This is cinematic junk food, but its sure darn tasty! Bay still can't create believable characters or really stage a set piece beyond just blowing up as much as he can in as short of a time as he can. But wow, the CGI eye candy and sound design in this popcorn flick is just incredible. It rates 4 stars all on its own. The movie loses a star for the inflated running time: Mr Bay, just stick to the action and lose all the lame attempts at humor or human interest stuff. LaBeouf shows some promise and Megan Fox, well, she's hot and that suffices.

Noam Chomsky: Rebel Without a Pause

This documentary consists of footage of Chomsky's talks on a variety of topics interspersed with interviews of his wife and of others who give positive views of his work. Yes, the documentary is low budget but that doesn't bother me so much. What I think both Chomsky's supporters and detractors will agree on is that it is unbalanced because it does not delve into any of the controversies surrounding him nor are there interviews with any of his critics to provide some sort of counterpoint. However, it does cover a good range of his provocative thinking in its relatively short running time and is worth viewing regardless of your political leanings.

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room

This is a skillfully made documentary that comprehensively details the evolution of the scandals that eventually brought down Enron. It combines news footage, interviews of experts and former employees to tell the story. Without seeming to have an overt agenda, it plainly lays out the greed and hubris of the upper echelon executives and the aftermath for the Enron employees who lost their jobs and pensions. Particularly memorable are the enthusiastic pep speeches given by Skilling and Lay when they knew things were unravelling...quite a pair. The doc apparently came out before Lay's suicide because its not mentioned.

Revenge

I remember seeing this movie during its original theatrical release, and a recent viewing has shown that its still retains its draw as solid entertainment. The cinematography and raw tone of this film has been so influential in the past 15 some odd years of Hollywood thrillers that if you are watching it for the first time, you will likely not fully appreciate how fresh and exciting it felt back in 1990. Its been aped that much in the ensuing years. Tony Scott is probably my favorite big Hollywood director, critically underrated I suppose, because he is so focused with producing kinetically visual entertainment. As if there can be no artistry in that! The man knows how to visually sell a story, and when he’s given a strong screenplay like here, the result is excellent. The story is very raw and visceral in its depiction of the doomed love affair between Stowe and Costner and the quest for vengeance that propels it to a surprisingly heartfelt conclusion. The characters are pulpy archetypes brought to life by strong performances from Costner, Stowe and especially Quinn.

The Hunger

2.5 STARS. The debut feature from Hollywood eye candy master Tony Scott has a very memorable opening scene that is quintessential 80s and, of course, that infamous lesbian love scene between Deneuve and Sarandon. It also has a great soundtrack, sound design and Scott's great visual eye, here with a more distinct art house feel compared to his later style. The visual style mixes sexual and vampiric imagery with an 80s music video aesthetic in its most interesting scenes. Unfortunately, the film's plot fails to live up to the strong opening scene and just plods along, although looking gorgeous throughout. Deneuve and Sarandon turn in strong performances in characters that aren’t very fleshed out. It all feels very uninvolving though, unlike his stronger works such as True Romance and Revenge that have stronger screenplays. If you like Tony's visual style, this is definitely worth a watch. Be advised that the online version is full screen and not the original widescreen aspect ratio.

Murder, My Sweet

Entertaining film noir from director Dmytryk, who later get blacklisted during the McCarthy era. The Chandler dialogue is both sharp and humorous, and the overall mood of the film is more lighthearted than a typical noir. It still has the requisite femme fatales and shadowy lighting (although not on par with John Alcott's best) including an effective visual sequence when Powell's Marlowe is drugged and abducted. Makes a great double feature with Robert Altman's "The Long Goodbye", showing two different takes of the Philip Marlowe era from 2 distinct eras.

The Abandoned

Very atmospheric and well shot. The plot was also well constructed and the twist at the end worked for me. This is nothing like Aftermath but I wasn't disappointed. Not for those looking for something like the current batch of Hollywood horror. Looking forward to Cerda's future projects.

Tideland

"I love Terry Gilliam but I hate Tideland" is the basic gist of most of the reviews here. Poor Terry just can't catch a break. People complained about Bros Grimm suffering from too much studio interference. And now with Tideland, the small independently financed feature, people are complaining that he apparently had too much freedom. What's an original artist like Gilliam to do? Stay true to his vision. Yes, Tideland is unsettling, even downright uncomfortable at times. But its crafted with conviction and talent. Its compelling, because at least for me, I had absolutely no idea what was coming next in this bizarre tale and that kept me riveted. Its basically the story of a young girl who creates a world in her imagination that counterbalances the sad and depressing reality around her. The movie explores the tension between those two worlds, alternatively funny, absurd, surreal and horrifying. Little Jodelle gives an amazing performance. And Gilliam hasn't gotten senile...this film has his signature all over it. He's an artist who is relentlessly exploring his creativity and expression. But if you don't like movies that grab you and take you out of your comfort zone, then maybe you should skip this one. I'm glad I didn't.

Fracture

A decently entertaining diversion. Thankfully this twisty thriller doesn't take itself too seriously and is chock full of intentional humor. Ultimately these kinds of movies rely on way too many contrivances and crimes that are much too complex for anyone to bother actually trying in real life. Hopkins is in Lecter mode and Gosling as delivers a convincing turn, although the romance with Pike seems...ummm, contrived. The cinematography is stylish and Primal Fear director Hoblit keeps things moving along at a good clip.

The Lives of Others

Wow, what an incredible experience. This German film is a dazzling document of the end days to a dark chapter in the human experiment. It is intelligent, suspenseful, claustrophobic and above all, profoundly moving in a manner that is devoid of cheap sentimentality and refreshingly understated. The cinematography and dialogue often seem inspired by the film noir of Fritz Lang and others. The performances, all from veteran German actors of film and stage, are convincing and haunting. 1984 East Germany is brilliantly recreated in its architecture, fashions and soundtrack. Not only does the movie convey the incredibly sad and pointless destruction of so many wasted lives under a corrupt totalitarian regime, but at its core, depicts the gradual disillusionment of its central character, a Stasi true believer, as he painfully reclaims his humanity at immense personal cost to his life and career. The ending rings true and is not in the superficially overdone style of too much of what comes out of Hollywood these days. This film left me under its spell for days after I watched it. I look forward to seeing it again and again. Its amazing that this is the director�s first film and it richly deserved the foreign film Oscar and other accolades it has won. Highly recommended.

Catch a Fire

2.5 STARS The director, Philip Noyce, formerly helmed big commercial Hollywood product like Patriot Games and Sliver. In recent years, he's tried to become a "serious" director with movies like The Quiet American and this movie set in Apartheid era South America. The film tries to be topical by alluding to Abu Ghraib, but it never really explores the parallels to the Iraq situation in any real sense. Instead, we get a typical mainstream Hollywood "message movie" that throws in a star (Tim Robbins) and focuses on romantic/family subplots instead of having the courage to really tackle the brutal history of that sad period. And it all ends happy and shiny, all the horrors of Apartheid seemingly brushed under the carpet. This is not a bad movie per se, but it's also pretty undistinguished and superficial. Are Noyce and the screenwriters being held back by studio interference, or are his commercial instincts hard to fully shake off?

Little Children

In The Bedroom was a fave of mine so I was looking forward to Todd Field's next film. During the first half hour I started to get this sinking feeling that Todd had misstepped and was making just another cliched flick about suburban dysfunctionality...but then it just took off and never looked back. What makes this wonderful gem transcend its lesser peers? It has to be the amazingly intense screenplay full of well drawn complex characters interacting and being affected by each other as they deal with and react very differently to the appearance of a pedophile in their neighborhood. The performances are superb: Winslet and Connelly are reliably excellent; Wilson is convincing as a man-child, but Haley steals the show. Field's direction is taut and not needlessly flashy, and scenes like the swimming pool or Ronnie's date amply show his talent and skill in staging and pulling difficult performances from his actors.

Brides of Blood

A lot better than I would have expected from Independent International. This hokey horror flick is from 1968 and so it must be one of the earliest B films made in the Philippines on the cheap. Jack Hill and Roger Corman's more memorable women in prison, featuring a young Pam Grier, would follow and up the nudity and exploitation, of which this film has some briefly. Pam Grier also appeared in director Romero's Twilight People. Brides of Blood moves at a good pace and the "effects" consist of a truly laughable rubber suit and glued on hair for the transformation scenes. My only complaint was that the soundtrack was wildly inappropriate and sounded like stock music picked completely at random. Some hypnotic congos would have worked wonders...

The Quiet American

This was disappointing. The plot, concerning the murder of an American in 1950s Vietnam, seemed like it had a lot more potential than the resulting film. The historical backdrop was a pivotal moment in Vietnamese history, a time of declining French colonial power and emergent Communist influence. The fault doesn�t lay in the technical aspects, as Christopher Doyle�s cinematography and camerawork is typically rich and evocative, painting a dazzling picture of post WWII Saigon, Nor is it weakened by Michael Caine�s turn as the cynical British journalist, yet another stellar and intense performance from this great actor. I think the film�s weaknesses largely stem from the screenplay�s overemphasis on the romantic subplot and the poor casting of the other leads. Unfortunately, these weaknesses compound each other. Brandon Fraser is bland and not up to the demands of his role and Do Thi Hai Yen as Phuong, the Vietnamese dance girl entangled in a romantic triangle with Fraser and Caine, gives an unconvincing turn to a character that was not well written to begin with. The end product is a decent film, but is frustrating because it feels rushed and compromised. I never read the Graham Greene source material, but its pointed critique on American foreign policy seems much toned down here. This movie was shelved by Miramax immediately after 9/11 and released at a later date. Could it have been edited due to fears for its commercial prospects? Who knows? But if a director�s cut ever appears in the future, I would certainly revisit this film.

Grindhouse: Death Proof

Death Proof really came alive for me when I saw it again without the more adrenaline charged Rodriguez zombie flick as the lead in. Its another example of what Tarantino really excels at: the amazing amalgamation of exploitation and art film sensibilities. He mixes up Godardian dialogue scenes with overt giallo tropes that create an atmospheric movie that is very different than your typical multiplex product. It doesn't just rush from one conflict/set-piece to the next, but builds on its own terms, harkening back to the pace of the 70s movies he is paying homage to. The construction of the film effectively mimicked the sort of surreal breaks in continuity/logic that give many 70s exploitation films their fascinating charm, albeit indirectly from budget imposed limitations the makers had to work through. I thought that was pretty brilliant and really showed Tarantino's passion for these movies. He also continues to move in a more stylized direction, like in Kill Bill, and I guess we'll see if that turns out to be an overall good thing for his filmography. Having said that, the self aware hipster dialogue, particularly in the second half, does get frustrating and seems to slow down the film for no discernable purpose. The girl's stories are flat out boring, and that is a cardinal sin in my book. Tarantino definitely pulls off the first half a lot better, but the conclusion is very satisfying and so the movie gets 4 stars from me.

Pusher

This movie has its faults, but what it really excels at is giving us a peek into the world of the low level drug pushers of today. Y'know, those faux macho guys walking around in tracksuits going from cheesy bars to the dingy apartments of their skanky girlfriends. In that sense, it is like a cinema verite Goodfellas set in the here and now. These are not smart guys, in fact, they are idiots. Noone is likable but that's how the real world actually is, at times. Its never boring, and that's what counts.

Sunshine

Unfortunately, the cerebral feel and look of this movie tends to invoke comparisons to 2001 or Solaris (either version) leading many to feel it misses the mark. Yes, its not as philosophically weighty as those films, but it remains a riveting movie that deftly synthesizes a lot of elements fromm those and other classics like Alien as well as horror films in the service of a very interesting and original premise. My feeling is that these comparisons are misguided, and when one looks at it more on its own terms, what comes through is a gripping story dealing with some very believable characters refreshingly free of the cliches and pathological need to be "likable" so typical in modern Hollywood sci-fi. The visuals and sound design are beautiful and powerful and not just typical CGI gimmicks thrown in for their own sake. The plot enfolds through increasingly intense set pieces and is resolved in a very satisfying way. In my mind, more sci fi "head trips" like this that don't sacrifice an interesting plot and action for overt philosopical meanderings are very much welcome and I hope more such projects like this make their way into theatres in the future.

Pathfinder

This is not a "good" movie with characters you care for or an innovative non-derivative plot. But yet it works very well for what it is: pointless uber macho sword fighting action! I think people looking for historical accuracy or a complex engrossing plot are missing the point. Nothing about its marketing suggested that this was what the makers were going for. And getting back to the pointless macho action: the movie dives right in from the get go and rarely lets up until much CGI blood has been spilled over the dark early North AMerican landscape! The sound design is also suitably excellent. Some drawbacks: the look of the film is so overly stylized and filtered at times that some scenes are hard to make out. And Karl Urban's physical stature seems somewhat too slight for the amazing acts of heroism expected from his character to be entirely convincing. But Nispel continues to prove he is at least worth watching out for, as his earlier Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake could have been a lot worse than everyone feared and was actually pretty brutal and entertaining. Pathfinder is also solid entertainment that will quickly fade from memory.

Play Dirty

What a wonderful lost gem! A cynical and very British take on war that is every bit a metaphor/warning for life in the business world or any sort of imposing heirarchy. Michael Caine and Nigel Davenport shine and are backed up by a solid supporting cast. And that ending: imagine a Hollywood studio having the cajones to try that today in their test screening / moviemaking by committee banality. Highly recommended.

Trust the Man

Utter crap. Look at this cast: what on Earth were they thinking starring in this drivel?!? A middling script plods along from one hard to swallow scene to the next. The characters are not just unlikable but they are boring and preposterous. A real chore to get through.

Bizarre

Trippy British sexploitation form the 60s: if you're familiar with the era and genre, you know the pace isn't going to be as fast as modern era films. But its got some choice 60s visuals and with a mummy as the narrator, richly deserves its handle. No plot to speak of. For more Bizarre-ness, check out the truly weird William Burroughs shorts in the Extras!

The Perfect Crime

An entertaining slapstick romp from the director of Day of the Beast. The department store setting lends itself to some funny shots at our consumer culture but its mainly just a fun and fast paced comedy about doing whatever it takes to hold on to what you have. Its not shy in the nudity dept either.

Ginger

Sure the pace is languid (unless you've only been watching Doris Wishman movies); the cinematography consists of a camera on a tripod and fiddling with zoom lens; and the acting is BAAAD, but gosh darnit, this movie delivers on the sleazy vibes, 70's style!! And its got a flamboyantly gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) arch villian in shiny unbuttoned wide collar shirts to challenge our airhead heroine! That's just gotta count for something!

The Seduction

Ahhh, they just don't make this kind of trash anymore!! Truly sleazy stalker flick with Andrew Stevens (of Dallas the TV show and zillions of straight to vid flicks) and the lovely and often unclothed Morgan Fairchild playing the archetypal 80s blond bombshell. With some tighter editing (i.e. lose the people just walking from point A to Point B without saying anything), this could have been a real B movie classic.

Rest Stop

When you have the murderer constantly driving away from the rest stop, it kills any suspense that could build up. Where does he keep going to?? Add the cop spouting groan inducing cliches and the nonsensical "Am I imagining all this?" subplot that goes nowhere and this unoriginal exercise in "gritty horror" just limps along to an unsatisfying conclusion.

Furia

Since no other review mentioned it I wanted to point out how awful the DVD authoring is. Aja is a visual storyteller, and so its frustrating to watch this DVD because of the incorrect aspect ratio; its not even pan and scan, parts of the picture are just cut off, including the burned in subtitles. In addition the picture is soft, full of compression artifacts and has a murky green tint..."blacks" are dark gray greens. The sound is a good 2channel stereo mix in French, but the film was recorded in Dolby Digital, so it could have sounded better. The movie itself is Aja doing the art house film thing. In the last third you do see his ability to handle scenes of visceral violence that would really bloom in his subsequent films. The love story is good but not terribly original. Maybe there's more going on and his next few films will flesh out new themes from Aja, and then this first movie will require a reappraisal (and perhaps then get a better DVD presentation. Movie: 3/5, DVD: 1/5